Game Updates/Player Stories
The Crucible
March 30, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 5:16 AM
15 left.
Pitiful.
A measly 2 deaths? Is that all you "assassins" (I use that term very loosely) can give me now that the endgame is set? It all boils down to these next few days and I get 2 kills?! [interrobang]
Now, I understand that y'all are pros (or so you think) and all that fancy shit, but you got nothing unless you got kills...and right now, you ain't getting kills, suckaz.
Agent BK, Kobra Kai Killer and you other bastards, where are you? I thought I could count on you to keep the drenchings going...alas...
This dryness makes me want to make all of you pay for diappointing me. No! Make the whole city pay! I should use my Weather Machine to bring 41 days and 41 nights of rain upon Los Angeles (ha! I'll beat g-d!!)...and you suckers have like *no* ship building skills nor do you know of spans and chaldrons, peninkulmas and poronkusemas. I bet all of you monkeys are scratching your heads thinking those words were made up...this is my point. You have no chance for dryness when I open up the skies and let it rain.
You cats are supposed to badass...yet yer acting like chumps.
In fact, I shouldn't even waste my Uranium-235 to run the Weather Machine. Instead I'm gonna show my displeasure by running you cats through a Crucible.
I just sent all my Rogue assassins information on all of you remaining assassins and the following instructions:
Pick one.
Players, now you have a choice - kill or die.
Player stories follow...
This first story was touching...
*********************************************************************
It is with great saddness and remorse that I have to report the death
of the Smokin' Aces (minus Scottywankerpants because he is a wanker
and deserved to die). Mustache always told me that I was a diva and
that something great was bound to happen with a camera guy around...
well, he was right. After almost 2 weeks with no kill in sight, I
successfuly soaked team leader The Reverend on a last whim.
It started with a complete failure and humiliation Tuesday night (as
reflected in my near suicidal post) as I fucked up 2 perfectly great
chances to make a double kill due to my down-syndrome. I had along a
photographer for WPN who was actually interested in Streetwars and is
planning on playing the next LA game. Again, it's hard being a
stealth ninja with some dude with a camera behind you, but nonetheless I was spotted by wanker's douchebag roommate who never leaves his home. The Smokin Aces arrived at wanker's home but knew I was there. Wanker tried to spray me from Agent SY's vehicle and told me I was the worst assassin to ever live. I hope wanker dies in a car accident on xmas eve. I run down the street to avoid getting sprayed, then Agent SY turns around and drops off wanker in front of his apartment and he makes a dash inside. Pussy.
I decide to bounce outta that piece and head on over to Agent SY's. I see she has not returned home yet, so I climb over a fence to get to her parking garage. It's raining and I slipped on the fence, now I have this bruise the size of australia on my leg, its awesome. I sit on the wet cement waiting for her to get home, and finally see her car pull into the parking lot. I crouch down behind a wall and wait for her to exit her vehicle, no dice. She starts the car and backs up out of the lot, what the fuck?!? Appparently she spotted my car around the block, I stink. I see her sit in her car outside her apartment, waiting for me to come out. 5 minutes later I walk back to my car, but then realize that if I give up now I will go home and cry like the failure I am. I walk back around, spot SY in her car talking on her phone, and try to creep up behind her vehicle.
She sees me and cracks her window and says hello.
I say "Hey... it's me, Tuna, hows it going?"
SY: "Pretty good, I'm not gonna let you shoot me tonight."
Me: "oh allright, well, if you decide you want to let me squirt you
then let me know."
SY: "I won't squirt you but I'll just make sure you get in your car
and drive off."
Me: "Ok cool, well, it was nice meeting you. I hope you enjoyed the
can of tuna and drawing I left on your doorstep last night."
SY: "Oh it was great, I ate it for dinner."
Me: "That's good... well... see ya later."
I am so deadly I can't even stand it!
I call it a night, and decide to wake up at 8am and get the
photographer back over here so he doesn't get fired for having crap
pictures. We cruise by SY's to see that she has already left for
work, shit. I was just going to reschedule with the photog but I
decide that we might as well take a stroll to Maria's. I had no faith whatsoever in myself because I don't really know her schedule. I call her job and lo and behold The Clever (who was my first kill) answers the phone.
Me: "Hey I was wondering if I can talk to Maria."
Clever: "She's not in yet, can I take a message."
Me: "Sure, tell her Melissa called."
Clever: "Melissa, its Braden, what the hell are you doing calling here for Maria?"
Me: "Well i was planning on asking her if she was going to let me kill her today."
Clever: "You are the worst assassin ever, you can't call someone to
ask them if they are going to let you shoot them."
Me: "I know, I am terrible at this game, I might as well just give up."
Clever: "I agree, you really suck."
Me: "I know, well, have a good rest of the day."
I am so obvious it hurts.
I hang around Maria's for a little while longer, and this dude walks
down her stairwell and I ask him if Maria is home. He said "oh she
just walked back up to her aparment because I told her you were
standing there with a squirtgun." Thanks genius. I figured I was
busted, so I nonchalantly walk back to the vehicle... camera man Steve walks around the other side of her building to see if she's leaving, he spots her and gives me the sign. Maria takes off running and I chase after her, mind you I'm wearing flip flops and carrying a heavy bag with me (I'm so prepared all the time). I run so fast that Steve can't keep up with me, and Maria's neighbors are chasing after us, it's crazy! I finally come within wetting distance and unload the fury (water) onto her, she retalliates but no dice. Victory is mine!
I set my gun down and give Maria a big hug, I was kinda sad that I
killed her, she has been an awesome target the past few weeks.
The photog takes some more pics, we chat for a few about SWAT
incidinces and my new target. All of this went down before 10am, what a great start to the day.
I text wanker and let him know Tuna has killed him indirectly (and I'm not talking about the hiv I gave him when I put roofies in his drink and raped him last week).
I will miss the Aces, they put up a great fight and I've grown quite
fond of them. I see many drunken karaoke nights ahead of us. Oh and
Braden, let's make out soon.
Agent "I'm delirious... and not in a funny way like Eddie Murphy" Tuna
*********************************************************************
Greetings from beyond the StreetWars Graveyard!
I am writing to inform you of the following:
1. I am officially dead as of 9.00pm 3-27-2006.
2. I died as I lived: water gun in hand, stalking my assigned victim.
3. Team I4I killed me in a most awesome and hysterical way!
4. StreetWars was an exceptionally fun experience, THANK YOU for this brilliance!!!
I am not sure exactly how they did it, but Team I4I was able to learn where my assigned target lives. While I was engaged in actively stalking, I unexpectedly discovered that I was no longer the hunter, but instead I had become the hunted! A true StreetWars battle (actually in the middle of the street) occurred and I soon found myself floating toward a bright, white light...
Team I4I thoroughly and completely earned this kill and I tip my hat to a fantastic team and a great pair of players. They made my game truly challenging and most fun! I am honored to die at the hands of such dedicated and FUN assassins...
Hmmm, I think I need a towel and a martini...
;)
RIP
Agent JS
(StreetWars freakin' ROCKS!)
*********************************************************************
Poor Goddamn Ninja... He has been eliminated from this game, not by his assassin or a rogue agent, but by his own target. I cautiously walked to my car this morning, and during my landscape scan, a shadowy figure leaped from a corner and began to fire his weapon into the air. Acting quickly, I dodged his ammo, and took aim as I returned the favor. We separated with him questioning his skills, looking for confirmation. I reported dry, and commented on the water on his pants. He was hit. He came over and inspected my clothes to know that I was not lying, and was indeed yet again telling the truth. He tried a last ditch effort, asking me for my card, which I showed with great enthusiasm. I asked for his in return. But no card was lain forth. His card was not in his possession, knocking him out of the competition. I feel bad for the way he went down, but at the same time, my return home tonight was never sweeter. nice and relaxxed. I finally checked the mail...
despite the attempts the government has made to stop me, with Goddamn Ninja and agent BK, I am dry. I look forward to meeting all of you who try to stop me.
The lone.
The vengeful.
The Dry.
Shooter McGavin
Remaining member of team Flaming Dragon
*********************************************************************
**** TEAM i4i HAS ITS CAKE AND EATS IT 2 ****
A grisly battle involving cross traffic chases on foot, guns firing on the run, and water grenades slung across the water soaked streets of LA, ended with Death on Monday Night. The formidable foe that was
Agent JS has finally been terminated by Agent Peeps and Agent "the
Napster" Buttercup.
The ranting post that is his claim for fame lists numerous "ploys" that supposedly left Team i4i as nothing more than "meat puppets."
Rather than sink to his level of "he said she said he did what" by
listing the numerous inaccuracies that exist in his rambling homage to a Unibomber manifesto.... or praise him for his unavoidable skillz as a true Assassin with class (thanks for the cake) and wit (thanks for the taunts)... and with our former target now indubitable feeling much like a loser getting hit out of a childhood Dodgeball game... we reply to him with this simple retort:
Scoreboard. Your name is no longer in the game.
Agent Peeps and Agent Buttercup await their next target.
*********************************************************************
What else can I say. CH let his guard down, he felt safe. I blasted
him at his front door.
I stripped the pride right out of his soul.
*********************************************************************
[END]
Comments
I too will be whoring myself out to stay in the game.
Posted by: Agent Minge at March 30, 2006 1:37 PM
I will continue whoring myself out to my targets trail.... Maybe ______ will decide to come home soon.
Posted by: Agent TG at March 30, 2006 2:23 PM
What a coincidence..I just started accepting bribes ;)
Posted by: 8==D at March 30, 2006 2:24 PM
BEING AWARE not only are you aware of your breath, your posture, and your thought process, but you are fundamentally mindful and aware. There is a sense of totality. You are aware of the room; you are aware of the rug; you are aware of your meditation cushion; you are aware of what color hair you have; you are aware of what you did earlier that day. You are constantly aware of such things. Beyond that there is nonverbal, nonconceptual awareness that doesn't talk in terms of facts and figures....A sense of being -- experience without words, without terms, without concepts, without visualization -- takes place. It is unnameable. We can't call it "consciousness" exactly, because consciousness implies that you are evaluating or conscious of sensory inputs. We can't even really call it "awareness," which could be misunderstood. It's not simply awareness. It's a state of being. - chogyam trungpa
Posted by: The Dali Llave at March 30, 2006 3:17 PM
(Yawns).. Must have taken you a long time to find that quote on google.
Posted by: Agent TG at March 30, 2006 3:42 PM
But remember... "There is no Spoon"
Posted by: Spritzi's Honor at March 30, 2006 3:56 PM
Dear The Dali Llave,
You are gay.
Fondly,
Agent Tuna
Posted by: Chicken of the Sea at March 30, 2006 3:58 PM
Remember, in many Asian cultures, the first name comes last.
Posted by: Dalai Hello at March 30, 2006 4:02 PM
(points and laughs at Dali) hahaaaaaaa!
Posted by: Agent MC at March 30, 2006 4:03 PM
What does this have to do with porn?
Posted by: 8==D at March 30, 2006 4:19 PM
this has everything to do with porn... and pirates... duh.
Posted by: Chicken of the Sea at March 30, 2006 4:23 PM
Stripped the pride right out of my soul. Pssh. And I gave you such good intel on your new target.
Posted by: CH at March 30, 2006 4:42 PM
Its true CH. You were very cool about it. I feel like you should continue to stock with me. But tell me this, did you leave the black dildo in his backyard?
Posted by: Terminal Squid at March 30, 2006 5:05 PM
Agent Tuna,
You stink.
Posted by: ---8---@ at March 30, 2006 5:17 PM
Yes, the Kobra Kai Killer's big black bonker is still in the yard. It seems that it got itself into a little hot water, but what can you do when you're a dick?
Posted by: Kobra Kai Killer at March 30, 2006 5:38 PM
I can't take this paranoia... Tuna might go delerious by sunday... I can't trust anyone! You all are evil! If you could EVEN see my bowel movements... this nervousness is very bad for my already horrid IBS!
Posted by: Chicken of the Sea at March 30, 2006 7:16 PM
A plague on your dark room! It appears that the players of StreetWars are getting a crash course on locating, surveilling and saturating people. Here's a recommendation as to how you can market your special talents in La-La-Land.
The papparazi are an annoyance to the acting community... maybe celebrities would pay you to track these menacing parasites and squirt them as they lurk about in their gardens and wedding ceremonies? Just a thought.
Posted by: Richard Head at March 30, 2006 9:33 PM
Please don't come here and tell us what to do, we don't come to where you work and tell you how to mop.
Posted by: dry humor at March 30, 2006 10:31 PM
Oh little Tuna...Miss Streetwars 2006...How lucky you are to have friends. Did you like our funny operator? We thought that would make a fellow pirate laugh. Good luck with your target. We left him a nice calling card. See you soon Sunshine...We want you wetter then a Cabo t-shirt contest...
Posted by: The Asylum at March 30, 2006 10:39 PM
TG your lucky you skipped poker night at your house. I'm sure you've already heard all about it. I almost soaked all in attendance but I didn't want to get that nice red poker table wet.
As the girl who took me on a stroll through your house was walking me to your front door she asked, "How did you get in here?" You might find yourself saying that in the near future. Your friends are not your friends. Maybe you will find some new ones in the soggy afterlife.
SC I hope you hired some good Rogues and not the sorry ass suckas who have already been wetted. It would be terrible to have to wet the same fool twice.
Posted by: MM at March 30, 2006 11:43 PM
The Kobra Kai Killer would like to let his would be assassin know that just because you yell, "I got you," doesn't make it so.
Fact: Knocking on someone's door to get them outside, lame.
Fact: Water can not change directions mid stream, unless it's magic bullet water.
Fact: Water does not go through window screens very well, if you're unsure, sit by one on a rainy day.
Fact: You did not get the Kobra Kai Killer. He shot you in the back, yes he will do that, as you were leaving angry.
Please, bring back the ninja.
Posted by: Kobra Kai Killer at March 30, 2006 11:45 PM
Sadly, yes, I'm out of the game. I'll miss stalking you, KKK. My ninja sense failed me the other morning, and now you have a new assassin to deal with, who may not be the cleverest, but he appears to have balls and some luck.
This guy seems to yell "I got you" as a battle cry, as the guy he killed before me called me to tell me the same thing happened to him. However, this guy's side of the story seemed like the whole situation was fucked up, so I pass it on with a grain of salt. He also yelled "I got you" to me, even though it was abundantly clear that he had gotten me. So maybe it's just reflex. I wish you both luck, and I'll see you at whatever afterparty there is.
Posted by: I.M. Dreyer at March 30, 2006 11:54 PM
MM- Yeah, maybe Ill sit an obvious and enclosed environment and wait for you to kill me. Maybe next time.
Posted by: Agent TG at March 31, 2006 12:05 AM
Oh tsck tsck tsck...Kobra Kai,..you are misunderstanding. I didnt leave angry i left happy and giddy. Remember how i was going past the fence all lazy ?
As far as your marksmanship,..you have to work a little on that. Sprinklers, hose from the roof, watering the plants around the garden And gun, still not a drop on me.
I liked the strings in the backyard though...has anybody gotten a nose dive there yet ?
As far as the shot through the screen,..ill give you the benefit of the doubt. I somehow think i got you since you didnt talk for 5 minutes after that and wouldnt come out like a man to get checked.
We have plenty of time,...it will be Special
Posted by: EK at March 31, 2006 9:59 AM
The rouge assassin EK sounds like a lightweight.
An tempt was also made on me last night. leaving my my original dossier and water gun.
Posted by: Terminal Squid at March 31, 2006 10:19 AM
Are you sure it was an attempt on you squid.....or an offering? Who knows these days.....back to drinking
Posted by: The Asylum at March 31, 2006 10:46 AM
Im not sure what you are trying to say there Mollusc. Stay away from my affairs. I got other fish to fry.
Posted by: EK at March 31, 2006 11:17 AM
3 more dead this morning.
Posted by: Agent Minge at March 31, 2006 11:26 AM
EK is a Rogue? And he failed? Pathetic.
Whatever happened to the days when Rogues would go out and wet without fail? BK where are you when we need you?
Posted by: so sad at March 31, 2006 11:26 AM
Squids are mollusks? Huh. You learn something new every day in street wars.
Posted by: I.M. Dreyer at March 31, 2006 11:30 AM
EK, the Kobra Kai Killer was messing with you last night. Why would anyone in their right mind come out and get nailed with such a feeble assassination attempt? As for going past the fence all lazy, he doesn't remember any of that. All he remembers is you being upset and crying, "That's not fare, you got wet and you know it!" and then climbing over the fence while the Kobra Kai Killer laughed and shot you in the ass. So don't show your mug until 11:30pm tonight and don't start crying again, it's pathetic and it makes him lose respect for you.
Oh, by the way, saying things like, "Come outside and we'll talk about it," is so ridiculous that it took five minutes for the Kobra Kai Killer to stop laughing.
Now, if you really think that the Kobra Kai Killer is going to just come outside of his crib to face your no talent ass, you've got another thing coming. How have you gotten this far in the game he wonders? You have to earn your stripes around these parts. Showmanship and creativity are everything.
Tell you what, if you show up to the Kobra Kai Killer's door on Sunday, let's say high noon, wearing either a cowboy hat and bandana or a superhero cape and mask, then the Kobra Kai Killer will come out "like a man" and soak your sorry ass. Don't even try dressing like a ninja, or like a evil sensei, or a stinky fish, or a hamburger mascot, those bad ass motherfuckers are already out there. Try something new and for fuck's sake, come at the Kobra Kai Killer with a better name than "EK."
You've got until Sunday to get your shit together.
Posted by: Kobra Kai Killer at March 31, 2006 11:33 AM
Does anyone else think the KKK should stop talking in 3rd person... I'm just sayin...
Dear Rogues:
I enjoyed that stupid call, I told you I was willing to "help" you, but you refused my offer... it still stands... oh and hiding behind the sliding mirrors is not a good spot, just letting you know for future reference.
Is it asking too much to have a rogue break into my apartment and shoot me in the face while I'm partaking in butt sex? That would make one absolutely awesome kill story.
Posted by: Chicken of the Sea at March 31, 2006 11:46 AM
Too much talk KKK. Dont be bitter.
Yes squid are moluscs
Posted by: EK at March 31, 2006 11:49 AM
3 dead this morning?
That takes us to 11.
Posted by: Exu at March 31, 2006 12:02 PM
Keep talking Tuna.....doesn't matter anyways...you are the untouchable starlett....for now
We thought you would find the stupid call amusing.
Hope your ass feels better from all the pounding...too bad it wasn't us behind the doors. You forget you have a lot of people after you.
Ugh..why am I reminded of a meat carwash
Posted by: The Asylum at March 31, 2006 12:04 PM
Wet butt sex eh?
CNN couldn't have picked a more humble assassin :)
Posted by: FINKLE at March 31, 2006 12:14 PM
Last night entailed some killin, some chillin, and a MEAGER attempt by a rogue villian. To all you rogues out there, whoever tried to hit me last night is an embarrasement to your entire race. Get his bitch ass out of the field before he embarasses your kind even further. Someone please do something cunning and impress me. Let me die in awe of your skills.
Posted by: Agent TG at March 31, 2006 12:17 PM
HA! Meat carwash!
I dunno, maybe we should hear what she has to offer as a bribe first.... but if its roast beef curtains I will pass.
Posted by: Pirate Gustav at March 31, 2006 12:17 PM
Hey, just because I have developed a retchid case of hemmorhoids from all this stress, paranoia, and anal sex bribes, doesn't mean you have to make fun of me.
I am still a very fancy gal with exquisite midwestern values and incredible casserole baking skills. Any of you beg to differ and I will personally shit on your faces, and believe me you do not want to be shit on by my 'tose 'tolerance poo...
Posted by: Chicken of the Sea at March 31, 2006 12:37 PM
Me thinks me smell a rat. Supreme Commander, is it coming from your direction? I do believe there are more then 15 people alive and hunting in the game. My calculations lead me to believe there are at lest 20 still playing.
Care to set the record straight?
Posted by: Agent 0 at March 31, 2006 1:43 PM
You count 20? Name'em.
I could only think of 9 I know for sure to be in the game. Someone earlier said 11.
Posted by: Thrakarzog at March 31, 2006 1:57 PM
Where the hell are you guys getting this information? How would any of you know if there is 50 people or 1?
Posted by: Agent TG at March 31, 2006 2:08 PM
First I thought let the Tuna LIVE! But after visiting her myspace profile I find myself completely annoyed.
Someone kill her please.
Honey, your friends are turning on you
Posted by: Agent WM at March 31, 2006 2:10 PM
Teams count as a party. There are (or were) more than 15 people, but only 15 parties. If the 3 people who died this morning were on separate teams, there could still be 15 parties active, though I doubt it. And TG, SC says at the top of this very post that there are "15 left."
Posted by: deepthroat at March 31, 2006 2:12 PM
I thought her myspace was funny.
Posted by: Sugar Bear at March 31, 2006 2:14 PM
Find out who's chasing you and who's chasing them. Find out who your targets after and so on. The numbers don’t add up.
Posted by: Agent 0 at March 31, 2006 2:17 PM
Sorry Deepthroat, that doen't work. In the earlier post, Supreme said there were 17 PLAYERS, not parties.
I arrived at the number 11 in my earlier post by taking the 15 Supreme mentioned, subtracting a kill we made but hasn't been reported yet, and then subtracting the 3 that Agent Minge said died this morning. I don't know where the 20 and the 9 figures came from.
Posted by: Exu at March 31, 2006 2:20 PM
How do you know some non-rogues didnt make kills last nght or this morning? Unti lthe next blog is up everyone is talking nonsense.
Posted by: Agent TG at March 31, 2006 2:23 PM
Lets do a roll call.
Posted by: AGENT 0 at March 31, 2006 2:24 PM
Wasn't a rouge.
Posted by: Agent Minge at March 31, 2006 2:25 PM
Agent WM:
I hope a large black syphillis penis impales your eyeball while you are getting raped by 6 hiv positive open-sored transvestites.
Sugar Bear: Thank you sweetie. I owe you a golden shower.
Posted by: Chicken of the Sea at March 31, 2006 2:26 PM
Agent 0,
You are a douche.
To presume that YOU know more than ME?
To insinuate that I lie?
The audacity!
If you were anywhere near my level, I might deign to pimp-smack you (that's from up to down), but I would not want to sully my gloved hands by having them touch your filthy proletariat flesh.
There were 15 playing units remaining...that means individual players AND teams. As teams are comprised of more than one person, this amounts to a total of about 22/24 people (I seriously can't be bothered to count...it is below me, I only estimate).
So...that should clear things up a bit...
Agent Zero...know your place...don't make me have to roll up on you prison stylee.
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Posted by: Supreme Commander at March 31, 2006 2:31 PM
Sorry Sir,
Thank you for clearing it up. I determined there were 23 still alive and it confused me to read 15 players. I appreciate your swift an violent response.
Posted by: Agent 0 at March 31, 2006 2:37 PM
(waiting for Exu's apology)
Posted by: deepthroat at March 31, 2006 2:40 PM
Deepthroat,
Here is a direct quote, from the post "Prime Numbers"
"17 is a prime number...it is also the number of players remaining in the tournament."
Therefore, I apologize...to Supreme for misinterpreting his words (since we all know that Supreme is infallible)
Posted by: Exu at March 31, 2006 2:48 PM
I haven't seen so much ass kissing since Pauly Shore tried to lure me back to his house from the playboy mansion... in fact... if you kids put 2 and 2 together you will figure out how the name "tuna" came into play, and it's not because I can toss a mean tuna salad! LOLOLOL!
I'm so funny I can't take it anymore!
Posted by: Chicken of the Sea at March 31, 2006 3:04 PM
Tuna, you are so lame.
P.S. peeple-- dont post if yoo cant spell
if i see one moor purson type ROUGE insted of ROGUE i theenk ill barf
Posted by: ----8---@ at March 31, 2006 3:24 PM
Now that was funny. I am glad you are all glued to yer computers and not out hunting me.
Posted by: Mordeth Sine at March 31, 2006 3:26 PM
"if i see one moor purson type ROUGE insted of ROGUE i theenk ill barf"
And to think, all this time I thought the assassins dressed in red.
Posted by: Exu at March 31, 2006 3:34 PM
You heathens better get on board with Jesus or you're all going to hell. Anyone in need of a baptism let me know : ) hahahahahahahaha! I amuse myself to no end.
Posted by: Mordeth Sine at March 31, 2006 3:34 PM
This coming from the metal can that has been hiding out at a safehouse and not going home
We are still watching and waiting for you to die a horrible wet tshirt contest death
Come out and play charlie tuna
Posted by: The Asylum at March 31, 2006 3:45 PM
All right, Exu. You just got yourself another Rouge Assassin on your ass. I'll be the one in red.
Posted by: deepthroat at March 31, 2006 4:17 PM
HEY TUNA! PB mansion you say? I thought I saw a pic of you there in my recon.....got any connects to get into another party there anytime soon? That was totally on my list of "things to do" when I moved here.
i will be sure to steer clear of the grotto however; i hear there is a herpe the size of anna nicole's left titay that swims freely between the legs of drunk and ususpecting party goers.
Posted by: Agent MC at March 31, 2006 4:25 PM
You know, there was a kind of foppish guy in a red velvet jacket sitting outside work today.
Posted by: Exu at March 31, 2006 4:48 PM
Nice rogue you sent after me. He brought his kid along on the kill! I thought that was great. He got pretty close to me but my co-workers gave him a little mis-information and it sent him away. I got to admit he did get closer to me than any other assassin so far. Except maybe for the one time I had a team waiting for me at a after party in Hollywood. Hope you got enough to drink that night Aquamarines!
Posted by: friggin-ace at March 31, 2006 7:09 PM
Hilarious,
A few tips to my would be assassins or sorry ass rogues:
1. If your going to blend in in Venice were some blue. Its a crip neighborhood. Your stupid silver porsche sticks out like a sore thumb and so does your... nevermind.
TG you have the night off from me...
Posted by: MM at March 31, 2006 8:16 PM
I.M. Dreyer, let's have some fun on Saturday, drop the Kobra Kai Killer a line.
Posted by: Kobra Kai Killer at March 31, 2006 9:15 PM
Appreciate the shout-out, Friggin-Ace. Just wish that me and pint-sized assassin (6-year-olds DIG Streetwars, btw) had managed to actually soak your Neandrethal-lookin', Parliament-smokin' hiney. Ah well. Weekend is young.
Only occurred to us too late that your co-workers fed us crap intel about your supposed illness. Real method actresses, those two. Give 'em one them high-class, no-one-cares AFI awards.
Posted by: Bear Hunter #3 at April 1, 2006 12:09 AM
Happy April FOOLS day!!!
Posted by: Smithy at April 1, 2006 1:58 AM
2 things:
- I outsmarted you rogues once again.
- There is a pirate in my apartment drinking whiskey.
Posted by: Chicken of the sea at April 1, 2006 2:22 AM
One shot is now deadshot...
After coming home from work, a bit drunk from the night, I was taken out by JF who I must say sat it out until 3:25 AM, where he got me to my suprise!
I give all the credit to him, even after much protest from the shock of it, he was the better man and took me out. I did not want to believe it that his little gun got me, but alas it did and I admit defeat and say to JF.... you have earned thy prize and deserve it!
I remembered to be gentlemen after a few seconds in the face of my own dissappointment and apologize if I questioned what you so deligently earned. I applaud you.
Good hunting and all the best JF.
Agent BK Oneshot
Posted by: 0neshot at April 1, 2006 3:50 AM
It's four AM. I am still alive and kicking, and I look forward to my next kill. I've had enough to drink all of the fallen amigos both south and north of the border.
Cheers to you guys.
Enough with the politificationosity..
To my assasins:
...
There's not much I can really say or do. It's like playing I'm playing an exciting game of "don't worry about the clown car behind you" - except there's no car...and worse yet, there are no clowns. Not even ass clowns.
Please, step it up a notch. You're making the last of us look like a pile of prancing nancies.
Adios
Posted by: Senor Squirt at April 1, 2006 4:16 AM
Thank you BK. Your words are greatly appreciated. I can finally get some sleep now knowing everything's on the level. I let SC know what happened, just so we're all on the same page. I'm sure your role in this game isn't over yet.
Posted by: A Humble Former Agent JF at April 1, 2006 4:58 AM
Tuna, You out smarted no one because nobody was after you....Now make me my caserole!
And if that pirate is hanging out with you hes probably a poor excuse for a pirate.....
Now that I have that out of the way I would just like to say that terminal Squid is a complete wuss that cant even speak for himself but instead lets his girlfriend talk for him, newflash genius, you cant get shot through a phone...man up or are you "tired of all this"??
And finally if you live in a secured apartment building and dont give the unit # you should have your foot chopped off and be forced to dance for change in Venice while the seagulls pick at your bloody stump....just a thought
Posted by: Pirate Gustav at April 1, 2006 5:35 AM
Wow.
Oneshot dead.
It's the end of an era. A very short era, true, but an era nonetheless. I guess the title of "Stupendous Badass" is once again up for grabs.
I raise a shot of cachaca to you Oneshot (and to JF for wetting him). Good game.
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Hey Exu, don't you think that this might be an April Fools prank from OneShot?
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I considered the possibility, but I'm not one to pass up any excuse for a shot of cachaca.
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CG needs constant updates! freak out in three...two...one.
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I would suggest gathering your bribes for Agent JF now... It's obviously only a matter of time until he methodically kills each...and...every...one..of..us.
Looks like it's time to bring in my sicilian security team. As for the rest of you. Good luck.
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