Special Communications
Santa Claws
March 22, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 11:37 AM
Just want to let you assassins know that I have not forsaken you.
In fact, right now I'm doing some Santa type shit on your behalf...you kids are gonna get a present here soon.
A sexy present.
I'll be posting the kills for the day and such a bit later. There are things that currently demand my attention...like being Santa and beating information out of some people.
Yes, beating.
Unlike in the movies, those fancy Slimer-green colored "truth serum" shots don't actually work...all they do is get people high (which ain't a bad thing really, but not so good if you want to make some jackass talk). Ya got to use some of that elbow grease if you want secret information. Chinese water torture also works, but takes waaaaay longer and is kinda a waste of water.
That said, I have to be careful who I beat. Being beat by such a good-looking, powerful, gold-laden and fit man such as myself could be a turn-on for some...though I have found pleasure makes people talk just as well sometimes...
Oh, look at me! I could go on forever about different information extraction methods and sexy beatings...
Anyway, I must be off...I'm eating some endangered animal for lunch and then I must get back to the Santa stuff.
Expect kills to be up this evening.
Oh.
...and if I haven't said it before - I love you kids.
Yer de-aridation skills make me proud.
Supreme "Papa" Commander
Shadow Government
Comments
Contact your Shadow Governement Official: liveinfear@streetwars.net
A wise woman once said,
"Villains don't torture with drugs. If they did, their lairs and chambers would have enormous queues of torture volunteers.
That's why they remove fingernails and knock off pets and hostage kinfolk. Duh."
I would put "pleasure beating" on the list of things *not* to do.
We krazy kids love you, too. Zoinks!
Posted by: The Reverend at March 22, 2006 5:29 PM