The StreetWars Blog
Paris 2007
StreetWars Wrap Party Tonight!!!
September 30, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 4:37 AM
The Streetwars endgame party is tonight...
I can guarantee nothing about it other than the fact that I will personally be drunk as hell...
Feel free to bring friends, the party is open to all...
Location:
La Bellevilloise - 19 rue Boyer - Paris - 75020
Date:
Sunday Sept 30th.
Time:
8:00pm
See everyone there!
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Gay Paree 2007 (Cuz I'm Drunk)
The End
September 28, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 7:11 PM
230pm.
I will be visiting Jim Morrison's grave.
The best place to die is amongst the dead.
Like Highlander, there will be only one.
Gay Paree 2007 (Cuz I'm Drunk)
10:00pm tonight.
September 28, 2007 - Posted by Mustache Commander at 11:01 AM
Gay Paree 2007 (Cuz I'm Drunk)
Nuts In Your Mouth And Skulls On Your Wall
September 27, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 4:26 PM
Walking home drunk and unarmed is quite a thrill...
Some of you came very, very close and one of you (at least) positively identified my location. Alas, none of you had the skills to take me out. You suck like a cheap prostitute.
In any case, you will have another chance to take me out...in fact, at least two more chances...
If you wish to kill me tomorrow around 2:30pm, I will be amongst the dead already.
Les Gaspards.
...or for those of you that are Japanophiles Noir #5.
I will update you again should you miss me...you may have another chance at me in the evening as well.
Stop sucking so hard.
Come get me.
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Gay Paree 2007 (Cuz I'm Drunk)
Queen Victoria
September 27, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 10:30 AM
Your next clue my little fancies...
I shall be at Victoria Station or somewhere about that. My balls are itchy and I shall scratch it against your defeat.
Gay Paree 2007 (Cuz I'm Drunk)
Jigga please
September 26, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 11:11 PM
Really, where are you guys?
A puff and a smoke and a "damn I am disappointed with your lack of hunting skills". So much time in Paris already and I have hardly seen any of you fuckers around.
Understandably, you have never tried to locate someone of my attractiveness, skill, and Americaness. So I shall help you with a tip. By around 10:00am - 11:00am today, I shall be seeking delicious Japanese made pastries in a place that should be familiar to us all.
My mouth will be full of chocolate as I spit out curses at your lack of skills.
Paris 2007
The Final Curtain
September 25, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 12:04 AM
SUDDEN DEATH!!!
Don't start congratulating yourselves for getting this far...yer still n00bs.
The following are the remaining players, in drenching order:
Kone
Li H
Daff
Pete Bondurant
Cassandra Clarendon
OSS117
Skarleta
VlaD
Takeshi Kovacs
...I assure you at least twp pf the above people will be wetted beyond belief in the next couple of days...
PAY ATTENTION HERE:
I promised you shit would change in Sudden Death.
Like Highlander, there can be only one.
As of right now, TEAMS NO LONGER EXIST.
In addition to your targets, you can kill your teammates.
Only uncontested kills will count.
But...
That's not your main goal...
To be the best, you've got to beat the best.
I am the final target, you wet me, you win.
Oh!
I almost failed to mention...like any Head of State, I will have a security contingent with me (most of the time - hehe) and they can irrigate you. They can be neutralized for 30 minutes (only applies to the assassin that personally neutralized the said body guard. The body guard is still free to wettify all other players), but they can also take you out of the game by wetting you...and my agents are still hunting...all of you.
Additionally, I have a few extra safe zones:
1. Strip Clubs
2. Porn Shops
3. My Hotel and the surrounding block
You will get more intel on me and my movements daily. I strongly suggest you check your email and the blog periodically.
I'll be posting *way* more often as Sudden Death progresses.
This shit is gonna separate the punks from the playaz.
Let's play.
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Paris 2007
14 Left!!!
September 12, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 1:40 PM
Players Remaining: 14
Current Kill Leader:TIE - OSS117 (3) and John Sinclair (3)
It has been done.
It may interest you kids to know that I just finished going over the Master Wettings List. All the wannabe assassins that signed up and went 2 whole weeks without making the required kills, the punks that couldn't get #2 and those not cunning, lucky and tenacious enough are all gone...but a few of you remain.
How many you ask?
Far be it from me to keep you from this information.
We are now down to but 14 playing units left dry...and a few of those might be removed in the next 24 hours...
We are quickly heading to the end of the third week and barring some deluge of Akkadian proportions, it certainly does not seem that there will be a Last Person Standing when Monday rolls around.
...and so, we will have to go into a single week of Sudden Death to determine a winner.
The rules change drastically during that time. Things that concern you now will no longer concern you. Targets will change...and someone will end up getting wet.
Your little minds are probably full of questions about Sudden Death. Your thirst for more information will not be slaked by this posting. The details of Sudden Death will not be posted until later.
I am sure that those of you that survive that long will not be disappointed by the new task given you come Sudden Death.
There were recently some behind the scene machinations that I was not yet at liberty to reveal. The time for their unveiling is nearly here. There will be another posting shortly...
So...until I give you the candy I know yer gonna love in the next post, amuse yourselves with some player stories.
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Paris 2007
Time To Get Worrieder
September 10, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 3:22 AM
Total Kill Count: 42
Current Kill Leader: John Sinclair (3)
Ahhh...
It is satisfying like a cheap prostitute to see you really increase the killing you kids are doing...the only problem is that cheap prostitutes, though satisfying for your base needs, really don't go that extra mile with their service.
For example, if you want a rusty trombone performed correctly, you want to see a high end prostitute...if all yer looking to do is give out a Donkey Punch, then the cheap ones will do, as they complain less...
My point is that although I'm proud of your killing, you do it a bit sloppily...and it's about time for some professionals to show you how it is done...
So.
As of right now, I have released the League of Rogue Assassins upon you. My private assassins that have orders to hunt you down and kill you with style and grace...to show you how killing should be done. So, if your killer is being a bit lazy or if you are on a team and haven't felt the fear of being hunted...well...that will soon change. In the coming days you will come to know them well...
In the meantime, enjoy some kill stories...
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Continue reading "Time To Get Worrieder"
Paris 2007
Attempts And Benevolence
September 8, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 7:18 AM
Total Kill Count: 28
Current Kill Leader: Tie: Nikita (2), John Sinclair (2), Spykids (2) and Teutram (2)
Apparently, the race for kill leader is on...I have already placed my bets as to whom it shall be that rises to the occasion but, for now I will leave that alone and deal with more pressing matters...
Despite my fearsome appearance and demanding nature, there is still some humanity left in my cold, black heart...not much, mind you, but some...
You should be thankful that I was able to find that part of myself...as that is the only reason some of you will be spared from an early death for not having made proper attempts.
I have just emailed all those that were in danger of being removed and, should you have made serious efforts to wet your target, efforts that you plan to continue, in my infinite kindness, I will let you live.
Those of you that have just given up...I am disgusted by you and ashamed by your actions...I only hope that at the very least you drink in a way that is less pussy than how you hunt.
Those of you that are curious if any of this is directed at you, do not worry unless you receive my email.
...and now - en Francias - kill stories...
Continue reading "Attempts And Benevolence"
Paris 2007
France Rules, Canada and Imitators Suck Dog Balls
September 6, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 7:13 AM
Total Kill Count: 17
Current Kill Leader: Tie: Nikita (2) and Teutram (2)
Little assassins...let me first apologize for the lack of updates recently...I was stuck in one of the shittiest countries on this Earth - Canada - while attempting to make my way back to my hidden fortress.
I am back here now, safe and esconced in women, drink and general trappings of luxury...but I bring with me a special distaste with me from Canada, one that I believe you should be informed of and one that you should truly share with me, as it affects the way you are seen by others.
While in Canada, I noticed that the French-Canadians there, speak a most offensive version of your language. Now, while the French I have heard spoken in Paris is a classy, beautiful sounding tongue, the version spoken in Canada is like someone regurgitating shit from their mouths. It was offensive for my ears to hear and even more offensive that it clalimed to pass itself off as the French you speak...it was but a pale, guttural imitation...
Speaking of offfensive imitations, I have noticed that quite a few of youhave attempted impersonating the Shadow Government to trick your targets and make your kills. Much like you should be offended by the FrenchCanadians attempting to impersonate you, we are offended by the impersonation of the Shadow Government.
Far be it from me to outlaw anything that will fool people and create more dampenings but, there is a price to be paid if you dare impersonate us...a price some of you will soon learn...
Until that lesson comes...and it should come shortly, please enjoy some kills stories - in French.
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Kill stories follow...
Continue reading "France Rules, Canada and Imitators Suck Dog Balls"
Paris 2007
Update on No Updates
September 6, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 7:04 AM
Hello assassins!
Sorry for the lack of updates but, I was traveling extensively and had no access to anything resembling this "internet" thing...
Obviously I am back on now and all of you should be receiving your updated targets and I will be posting kill stories and such shortly...
Please be patient.
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
London Bourne 2007
London Sudden Death: Mission ONE
September 4, 2007 - Posted by Mustache Commander at 10:04 AM
[Paris players, check the blog below for kill stories and updates]
Drunk. Yes.
And ready to make many babies with your women. Now we go drink in this "Soho" area of town.
We shall be out and drinking with awesome sexiness in our pants.
Remaining assassins, this is your first and ridiculously easy clue to find us (as I have no respect for your obvious lack of skills at not being harassed yet for two fucking days). Beware as my mustache is particularly potent today after romancing the french, and it might impregnate you by mere proximity.
Wet you soon.
London Bourne 2007
StreetWars London Wrap Party! THURSDAY
September 4, 2007 - Posted by Mustache Commander at 4:30 AM
Wrap Party, Fools!
[Paris assassins, check the blog entry below this one]
Location:
Hedges and Butler 153 Regent St Entrance at 3 Burlingham MewsDate:
Sept 6th, THURSDAYTime:
8pm and onDon't miss the highlight event of the London Assassin calendar. This is where all the top assassins come to see and be seen.
Features include:
- The full original kill circle revealed, with photos!
- Awards ceremony
- Your chance to admire/make-out with the Commanders.
We encourage:
- Bring thy friends. Everyone, player or non-player, is welcomed
- Costumes are good. Sexy costumes are better. Sexy costumes involving mustaches or gold, double betterer.
- Getting hella wasted.
- You might want to call in sick on Friday... just saying...
Contact your Shadow Governement Official: liveinfear@streetwars.net