StreetWars
SF2007

Volunteers, Fried Chicken and Space Docking

- Posted by Supreme Commander at 04:33 AM

Supreme CommanderGame Status Update

Total Kill Count: 39

Current Kill Leader: Tie: NightThrasher (4) and the now deceased 1337 (4)

Lately when I wake up in my Emperor sized bed, with baby seal skin sheets, surrounded by a bevy of former virgins and I reach for my morning piece of breakfast fried chicken, I'm in a fairly craptastic mood.

You'd think that my liquor, gold, women and general disregard for the sanctity of life would keep me in a good mood all the time, but let me tell you that after a few years of living the high life ennui sets in hardcore. Then you start doing insaner shit just to see if it will make you feel alive. Hence my blatant disregard for numbers, the repeated beating and torture of my servants (Abu Ghraib ain't got nothing on the hallowed halls of the SG headquarters - granted our joint is cleaner and classier). I like the servants to feel special as they are getting their genitals electrocuted), my conceptual fascination with Space Docking, my hated of midgets and my interest in knowing what one would eat the week prior to being forced to taste their own shit.

Anyway, my point is that I feel that perhaps this languor has beset some of you assassins and, while you may not have the funds and social status to get away with doing the same things I do to deal with it, I would like to offer you a way to both spice up your assassinating and allow you to make it into week 3 of the tournament despite not having the minimum 2 kills – now this is only for those with large testicles (or the equivalent engorged body part for women that signals toughness – uterus?):

A volunteer mission.

Here's how it goes: you email us your desire to participate, if we choose you, we release your information to all the living assassins and the rogues. If you survive to Monday, you get a free pass to week 3 and perhaps a small token of our respect.

In today's update: