SF2007
Even the mighty can fall
February 1, 2007 - Posted by Mustache Commander at 9:39 PM
Game status update
Players remaining : 9
Kill leader: Agent Zeno (7)
With great pride and respect, I announce the death of our kill leader, Agent Zeno (7). As is only proper, such a fine and skilled assassin was finally retired by our next best assassin, Night Thrasher (6).
Seven kills is no small feat, tying last year's SF kill leader, Sandra D'Angelo. Our all time leader in the category of solo kills is Robert Gribbins in London with nine.
NIghtThrasher, it is now up to you. Can you take over Agent Zeno's lead? Can you trump even the great Robert Gribbins?
Normally, we keep the kill stories after the jump, but in hopes of inspiring the remaining assassins, I will put NightThrasher's story here in the spot light for all to enjoy:
Night Thrasher (6) finally retires Agent Zeno (7)
Hot damn! It will be a cold day in Hades before anyone who walks this earth makes The Thrasher go to such lengths. My balaclava is off to Zeno, he knows his stealth. In the last week I have spent 5 freezing predawn hours lying under a rusty van amongst trash, detritus, and rat droppings, waiting and waiting. I have dressed in full official bike messenger regalia and covered innumerable miles of SF city streets, waiting and waiting. I have pursued, I have researched, I have divined and I have augured. I have donned formal business attire and I have waited, and waited, and waited, and waited. This man has taken from me countless hours of my life. Hours spent staring, entranced, meditative, envisioning the kill... (and occasionally wondering if I left the iron on).
Today it was realised. The Great Zeno (7) has fallen.
Don't forget this sunday:
In today's update:
- Agent Zeno (7) makes Kobayshi (2) his final tribute.
- Night Thrasher (6) finally retires Agent Zeno (7)
- Agent Nashor (3) falls sadly to an unnamed assassin
- One kill under review.
Full story after the jump
Your daily kill stories
Agent Zeno (7) makes Kobayshi (2) his final tribute.
It sure as hell has been long enough since I last wrote one of these here emails. Between the celebratory whiskey and the fog of time, The Bookie's going to end up docking me literacy points.
Should I even begin to chronicle the pain that Mark 7 caused me? Lucky my ass. When this all is said and done and in the past, I'm going to ask that girl why she didn't report being out of town this past weekend. The marathon stakeout I endured was based on the trust inbred-in-assassins that any out-of-town excursions would be reported. I can't blame a girl for wanting a break here or there, but I could have saved myself the risk and the pain and increased my overall enjoyment by remaining indoors with my monogamous harem, as opposed to, well, I digress. In the words of my rival: "A day wasted on others is not wasted on one's self."
Seven.
This is the number of kills to which I have raised the bar.
Tonight, I must report with a certain sense of remorse that Agent K0bayashi has shat his last shit. It is a shame, Nabeshin, that you had to bring your own spree to an end. It is also a shame that your amplified curses have lost you face with your housing association. May your hypercharged spirit get its chance to defuse. Otherwise, that old lady is surely going to have your ass handed to you.
If there were one thing I felt the need to be proud of tonight, it is the successful application of an age-old trick. You see, within Target's apartment building, near his Unit's door, I found myself a little nook where the garbage chute rests. I had a wonderful view of Target's door and of the elevator which would likely bring him to the proper level, but there was one problem: if I focused my attention forward, towards his door and the lift, I would completely leave myself open to a discrete attack from behind, where the "Fire Exit" stairs rested. Certainly, under normal circumstances, no one uses these stairs, but StreetWars provide no normal circumstances.
Thanks to inspiration that must go back many generations, I found in my pocket a quarter, which I was able to balance very carefully on top of the stairwell doorknob, above the tile floor. This allowed me to keep my attention tuned towards the default entrance, but immediately alerted me to any stairwell movement.
Since tonight's full moon bestowed upon me the greatest luck, my Target did not only choose to arrive via my booby-trapped stairwell...his drunkenness forced him to waste his time and attention *picking up the dropped quarter*. In an instant, I fell upon him, both guns blazing. He did return fire, but far, far too late to change his fate.
Maybe it's the second whiskey. Maybe it's the lack of solid foods. Bring in the bottled lightning, a clean tumbler, and a corkscrew.
Seven notches on my belt, seven notches ticking away. Life is made of ever so many partings welded together.
Comments
Big Ups Night Thrasher! i am hopeing every1 gets 2 beading so there is only 1.
Posted by: SrepuFdeirCnekcih at February 2, 2007 12:56 AM
Yes, there can be only one . . . and 7 is a mighty fine number. Congrats NT.
I also want to thank my assassin. They have gratefully left a plethora of black waterballoons on and around my motorcycle. Is that supposed to be intimidation?? I fart in your general direction. I have stools more dangerous than you.
I have collected them and will hopefully be able to return them to their rightfull owner, or my current target ~ whichever comes first.
There can be only one.
Posted by: AgentGweilo at February 2, 2007 3:48 AM
As this posting is all about mourning the fallen kill leader and because I'm *such* a nice guy (and also because drama kinda amuses me), I'm gonna be reposting the words Zeno dropped in the prior blog's comments.
It's not that I want to cause deaths, it's just that people getting wetted is like my Viagra and I got a large Harem...
***
My heartfelt congratulations to Night Thrasher: there is no one I would have rather been taken out by.
It is true, then, that I can no longer increase my kill count beyond its current 7. Unlike Dr. Monkey, however, I know how to spell "rogue".
And thus it is that I, Danny Dawson, cast aside my identity as Zeno, resume my Quasistoic pseudonym, and welcome any agents to come and find me. I offer, to any Agents who dare to send me an email or give me a call, all the information I have about Night Thrasher, including where to find him on his hunting grounds.
Why would I offer out this information free of charge? Simple: I have a kill record to protect, and Mr. J. Flynn is currently my biggest threat.
Kman: get off your ass and do something about your target, won't you? Perhaps try contacting me? You've absolutely nothing to lose, unless you let this pass you by. Pansy.
Night Thrasher: I hope this doesn't create any bad blood between us. You're a water brother now, and I hold you in the highest regard. I have great respect for you. I just also want you dead.
The rest of you: keep your noses clean, your heads down, and don't do better than I did.
***
Posted by: Supreme Commander at February 2, 2007 5:16 AM
I am honored to receive such a tribute, and I look forward to drinking with you all Sunday night and again at the final celebration.
Night Thrasher: Though I will do what I can to thwart you, your new pseudo-underdog status makes some deep part of me yearn to see you overcome these challenges.
-Danny Dawson / Quasistoic
Posted by: Agent Zeno at February 2, 2007 9:46 AM
Zeno was going to run into me sooner or later, but that Wednesday night was a night I let my guard down. Two members of my department had their jobs off shored to India and we all had a farewell party at 111 Minna. Again, the one night I let my guard down. I had several different ways to get into my building and in the end there would have been a standoff at my door.
Zeno had a good (very) idea about covering one flank and booby trapping the other. If I did take the lift or up the stairs I would have met you with my gun(s) out at the ready as with any given day and we would have “danced.” I took the most direct approach to get into my condo which was that booby trap door. I will forever remember that moment every time I walk up that stairwell. And it pisses me off, lol. If I took a more 3D approach you would have seen the end of my JIZZer and I would have been happy to see you the next day when my ALL of my home defense mechanisms was ready. (Ask me about this at Lazlo’s)
The aftermath of the whole incident:
- The Board of Directors has issued me a warning. I cannot be cursing in the stairwell and the building sidewalk.
- Security has compared me to the crack-head who used to live in the building and told me that I am on the same path towards eviction. Though, he is fired for not catching you up in the garbage chute. I told him many times to look out for people like you.
- Ran into that old lady the day after and she heard the whole thing. She grinded words solitude, retired, and decency into my skull. I am one of the youngest in my building so they think I’m a bad apple in the apple tree.
Well played situation. You deserved it from all of your hard work. (asshole, lol) I'll buy you a drink at Lazlo's.
Posted by: Nabeshin K0bayahshi at February 2, 2007 10:11 AM
"Though, he is fired for not catching you up in the garbage chute."
I hope this is not the case. A game such as this should not negatively affect the lives of those outside of it.
Posted by: Agent Zeno at February 2, 2007 10:29 AM
NEED INFO -
Which killer drives a GTI? Maybe it's a Jetta but I think it had a hatch.
Any help would be appreciated.
Posted by: Bitch you Orange at February 2, 2007 1:08 PM
This is a reality game! Shit happens! You get chased down the street, to your house, and based on the videos you see on the homepage for Street Wars you should expect to find someone hiding in your house with a water gun.
This Street Wars Killer an roll playing assassins game not a sit on your fat ass slot machine tournament.
Posted by: Bitch You Yellow at February 2, 2007 1:33 PM
This is a reality game! Shit happens! You get chased down the street, to your house, and based on the videos you see on the homepage for Street Wars you should expect to find someone hiding in your house with a water gun.
This is Street Wars Killer an roll playing assassins game not a sit on your fat ass slot machine tournament.
Posted by: Bitch You Yellow at February 2, 2007 1:33 PM
Actually, you shouldn't expect someone to be waiting for you with a watergun in your house...
Back in the day perhaps, but if you read the fancy new rules we gave you at pickups you would know we don't allow fuckers to enter other peoples houses without permission.
This rule helps us prevent any of you fools getting capped fo' reals and trying to get all legal on the SG's ass.
Posted by: Supreme Commander at February 2, 2007 2:08 PM
Lots of peeps I know did not play cuz of that video where our previous SF top killer was interviewed and explained her break-in. It was a great desicion by SG.
Posted by: Nabeshin K0bayashi at February 2, 2007 6:22 PM
It's over ... for me and not my target.
I made the mistake to leave my observation post and return to my home base to refuel my cell phone (faithful companion for so many cold nights and mornings) and get a change of clothe more appropriate for the cold SF nights and that's when it happened ... I got bumrushed by a government assassin. I will pass on the details but my generous and kind nature was my downfall (along with a poorly placed last ditch effort to get him).
I look forward to toasting tomorrow with all my other fallen comrades.
Good hunt everyone!!
Posted by: Agent HuffnPuff at February 3, 2007 3:37 PM
Big Ups HuffNPuff, goodshowing and an even better showing of sportmanship. I tip my pistola to you. Right on for not running me over with your car.
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Post a comment
Contact your Shadow Governement Official: liveinfear@streetwars.net
Big Ups Night Thrasher 2 a day and the prize is urs.
Posted by: SuPeRfRiEdChIcKeN at February 2, 2007 12:32 AM