London Bourne 2007
Update on the Hunt for Monarch
August 14, 2007 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 4:44 AM
First things first...as there was some confusion last night, I will clarify the rules for the hunt for Monarch.
Read closely:
1. If you are shot by one of Monarch's assistants or by Monarch, you are barred from continuing the Monarch mission for the evening, though you are NOT dead.
2. You have permission to shoot Monarch if he attempts to run.
3. You may "take" Monarch from another player by shooting them (this will remove the shot player from the Monarch hunt but, not from the Streetwars competition).
Now, for the updated intelligence on Monarch's movements for tonight...
We have reliable intel that Monarch will be moving from Piccadilly Circus to Covent Garden carrying the plans with him. He should be moving from Piccadilly beginning at 9pm. BEWARE the Monarch's penis. Seriously. Really.
As for the events of last night...
I'm not angry and not pleased.
Monarch was not able to drop off the weapons plans but, the plans were not recovered...though just barely...
Monarch sent me the following communication...I thought I would share it with you, as it may motivate you to take his punk ass out once and for all...hopefully tonight...
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Some of you did well tonight. Some of you never even saw me, which is a shame, because after you scared away my CIA contact, I had nothing else on my mind but the wetting of as many of you as possible.
First off, a note for the people who can't read. "Hooked On Phonics" is a great place to start, and if you can't pay attention to the rules, then you'll never be able to move your ass off of your parents' couch and into a job that doesn't leave you hating yourself when you come home at night. You'll never make it as an assassin, and you should give up now, before some rookie comes stumbling up your front steps and wets you when they accidentally drop their gun, while you stand there, stupefied, like the asstastic blunder that you are. Did you really think that you could shoot me while I'm standing at a fucking bus stop (safe zone, asshole!), and then argue with me about how retarded you are?
Second, a word of praise for Deekoy, who rose above the chaos to execute what would have been a flawless capture, if not for the retards mentioned above. In the ensuing chaos I was able to escape and navigate the treacherous streets of Canary Wharf, crawling with unsubtle hordes of weapon-toting eyesores, and I can't count the number of times that one of you walked past the very bushes where I was hiding with my weapon trained upon your head. You walked onward, staring straight ahead, mumbling incoherently about how it all seemed so overwhelming.
A final note to the player who spent two hours chasing someone who was barely over five feet tall and certainly not the strapping male that I am (I have a goatee, man! Pay attention! I don't have 2 X chromosomes!) - if you'd only continued up the pathway for another few feet you would have been dead, and certainly less embarrassed than you are now. Maybe you can't tell the difference between boys and girls, but that's your problem.
Tonight was obviously too much for the lot of you, running around the park like a soccer team, confusing the Metro police - I'll give you a break for tomorrow.
The Rules Of Fucking
1. You have to get the information off of me before you can kill me. If I make it to my drop zone and pass the weapon plans off to my buyer, you're fucked. 2. If you shoot me outright, you're fucked. 3. If one of the members of my security detail shoots you, you're fucked. 4. If I shoot you, you're fucked. 5. If you have me detained, and another player shoots you, you're fucked. If that player happens to be your assassin, then you're royally fucked.
What does being fucked mean? I assure you that it's nothing like what you experience, alone in your bed at night, wishing that you could afford more batteries for your love toy - in this scenario, being fucked means that you go home until the next opportunity. You don't get to assist your team, or stalk me, or make a nuisance of yourself. You go home. You buy batteries. You cry into your pillow. Do the math.
How will you accomplish this? It's easy - don't let me escape, and don't let another player take you out in order to take me in for him/herself. It's my job to get away from your amateur ass - it's your job not to let me. If I can escape, I will. If I can shoot you, I will. If you can prevent any of this, then you should. I've taken out more people than I've had sex with, and right now more than 25% of the population of Eastern Europe under the age of 12 calls me Daddy. Do your best.
This is about hunting and using your wits, not a gang rumble in the park. Take a page out of Deekoy's book - dress the part, stay subtle, and intercept me before the horde of retards comes lumbering after me, giggling while they spray me down in a safe zone.
I know that the Shadow Government has agents who will update you on my movements, but I'm not afraid of you. I am a trained operative. You're British.
Bring it.
Monarch
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