StreetWars
Paris 2007

Time To Get Worrieder

- Posted by Supreme Commander at 3:22 AM

Supreme Commander

Total Kill Count: 42

Current Kill Leader: John Sinclair (3)

Ahhh...

It is satisfying like a cheap prostitute to see you really increase the killing you kids are doing...the only problem is that cheap prostitutes, though satisfying for your base needs, really don't go that extra mile with their service.

For example, if you want a rusty trombone performed correctly, you want to see a high end prostitute...if all yer looking to do is give out a Donkey Punch, then the cheap ones will do, as they complain less...

My point is that although I'm proud of your killing, you do it a bit sloppily...and it's about time for some professionals to show you how it is done...

So.

As of right now, I have released the League of Rogue Assassins upon you. My private assassins that have orders to hunt you down and kill you with style and grace...to show you how killing should be done. So, if your killer is being a bit lazy or if you are on a team and haven't felt the fear of being hunted...well...that will soon change. In the coming days you will come to know them well...

In the meantime, enjoy some kill stories...

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

Jungleboy dies an ignomous death

I got busssssssted yesterday like a fucking newbie. I conditioned myself not to respond to my name in the street since the begining. I was walking home when I saw a guy that didn't seem to be in its place a block away from my appartment. I continued walking towards my appartment thinking that he looked a bit too old compared to the guy that called me the night before. About 200 meters from my entrance I noticed I guy parking with a velib in a place where every single bike had been removed from a fence last week. I thought to myself thats fucking weird parking a velib is stupid and parking it in a place where bikes get removed is even stupider. I focused a second on my door to see if the "kids" from yesterday night were waiting for me. I heard a "Amin?" from behind and while I was in my thoughts focused on my door, i turned around and lousily got killed! What a fucking loooooser I thought to myself. I almost had finished my journalist scam. I was just waiting the night to go and meet him to give him the tape and "bammm" kill him by surprise.

So it turns out I learned that:"Doesn't fuck the one who thought he would!" and these days it seems appropriate in a lot of cases....

Now that the rain has come I bow to thee and await your signal if you need my humble shadow to back you up.

Jungleboy signing out.

***

Cassandra Clarendon put an end to the Nouvelle Vogue

After all my stakes outs and hypothetical battle scenarios, the kill was like taking candy from a baby.... I got up while it was still dark, donned my high heel leather boots, applied a coat of lipgloss and marched to the metro.... as I arrived at agent avienda's building a man obligingly opened the door for me and I snuck up the stairs to check and see if her lights were on, yes!, so I took my position at the base of the stairs ready to fake a phone call and follow her to the metro. After only 10 minutes of waiting (and yet another encounter with the neighbour's dog Bob, with whom I had become fairly friendly during my time in the building on all those previous occasions), she came down the stairs and walked out onto the street, I followed with my heels clacking like miniature bullet blasts (so much for subtley) and splash, she was down.

How civilised were we: I apologised, she gave me the biz and we walked to the metro together on a bright Monday morning.

***

Selarpis almost killed Prae


2e tentative de liquidation totale de ma cible.

Après une première tentative foireuse et la perte de mon annonymat, je me devais de frapper un grand coup.
Levé à l'aube, je planque ma cible dans l'espoir de profiter de l'engourdissement du réveil pour me faciliter la tâche.

6h30, je choisi un spot, sachant qu'il y aurait une chance sur 2 pour qu'il me voit d'assez loin.
Quelque cloppes plus tard, je vois une silhouette sortir du domicile de ma cible, faire demi-tour et se planquer derriere une benne a ordure. Pas de doute, c'est lui. Mon sang ne fait qu'un tour je fonce sur lui en vélo, bien décidé a lui caser un drive-by-shooting des familles, façon west-coast.
Fatalement il comprend la manoeuvre, et file ventre a terre vers l'entrée de son immeuble à quelques pas de lui. Je passe et le vois par la vitre, accroupis dans l'escalier de son terrier.

Bon... pour l'effet de surprise on repassera...

A 7h45, je vois sa jolie journaliste arriver tranquillement... le portable à l'oreille. Très gentille, elle me le passe. Ma cible tente le bluff "moi tu sais je suis freelance, j'ai pas d'horaires".
C'est ça... Tu vas bosser a 7h30 et t'as pas d'horaires... Bon je relève pas et je change de planque profitant de la couverture d'un gros 4x4 avec un sticker "sans dieu, vous n'etes pas en sécurité".

A 8h00 le lapin sort de son terrier. Quelle idée d'habiter un endroit sans sortie de derriere... C'est à la limite du manque de professionnalisme...
Bref il court comme un fou, moi je démarre en vélo et le rattrappe vite. Je tente un deuxième drive by mais tire trop haut, surpris pas une chute de ma cible. S'en suit un échange de tirs fatal, avec en trouble fête un scooter qui passe dans le tir croisé l'air ahuri (le pauvre). Pour finir ma cible, décidemment douée, décoche un tir en cloche au dessus d'une voiture, tir qui finira sur mon front. Je cris "TOUCHÉ", et la fusillade s'arrete et on se fait un bon gros hug des familles.

J'ai vraiment pas été loin d'hériter de sa fortune : une nouvelle cible et une journaliste avide de sensations. Groumpf. rendez vous dans 24 heures , Benjamin.

***

MyBurger killed Someone

c'est fini pour lui également, je l'ai mis au carreau aujourd'hui même à
20h30.

Cet agent n'était pas vraiment dans le jeu. En fait il n'avait pas pu
venir récuperer sa mission le week end dernier et il avait mailé le
gouvernement pour leur demander de l'envoyer par laposte. Et il attendait
toujours sa mission... à la base son inscription au jeu était un cadeau
qu'on lui avait fait donc il n'était pas vraiment à fond...

au final donc j'ai poireauté 4h en tout pour finalement le voir sortir
tout tranquillement sans se mefier, sans arme ni rien... il n'a pas fait
long feu, il fut arrosé sur le champ.

J'attends ma prochaine mission.

Bonne soirée à vous !

***

Squid killed OBIMIC by OBIMIC

Je me suis fait descendre par mon assassin, ANISS qui habite Bagnolet, samedi soir dans paris. Il m’as eu par surprise en me décochant un tir de pistolet a eau dans le cou devant l’Opéra Bastille. Nous avons passé la soirée ensuite dans un bar a nous racontez nos traques.

Il a pris une photo pour immortalisé la traque.

Je lui ai remis les informations que j’avais sur ma propre cible, Fabien Vivien, qui, selon le règlement, devient la nouvelle cible d’ANISS.

Voila merci encore pour avoir organisé ce jeu.

A bientôt pour une prochaine édition, ou je serai encore plus efficace encore.

***

OSS117 barely escapes with his life -

WOOWWW !!! Guys, did you take me for a French pussy ???

I was working very hard yesterday, but get out my office at 7:30 PM… As usual, many checks to the area before living, just to make sure that one of you is not here !! And I saw this pussy just at the next corner, 2 steps back when I looked at him !! I waited, he made a new control, no doubt for me, he is my assassin !!

To easy…. I jump on my scooter, and get out this place !

Few minutes later, I arrived to my house, but made a first passage to see if everything is clear !! What a surprise, another guy was hide just at my living entrance… Interesting, a team is after me…

I didn’t park in front of my house, but at the next corner, and decided to kill this poor assassin…

I take my more powerful gun (always with me), and sniped him from the street after a very delicate approach !! WWAOWW ! so cool !

The big surprise was that a French TV was here (They were better hidden than my assassin (well, assassin is not really appropriate… pussy ;-)) and they get all the scene !!

24 hours of secure living for me, I went to the restaurant with my girlfriend yesterday, and feel so safe !!!

By the way, I am happy and sad !! I was hoping for much more imagination !! I can’t understand how they already kill someone… Come on guys, show me more than that !

0SS 117

***

Comments

euh OSS117, si tu tues un gars d'une équipe qui t'a pour cible, il ne peut pas te tuer pdt 24h certes, mais les autres membres de l'équipe oui... donc méfiance.

Posted by: X at September 13, 2007 12:11 AM

Ouais ?? je croyais que quelque soit le tueur de l'équipe, je gagnais MON sursis ? de toute facon, mes 24 heures sont écoulées, et je passe plus de temps à traquer ma cible que chez moi ou au taf de toute facon ;-)) !!

Posted by: OSS 117 at September 13, 2007 3:40 AM

Some rules need to be revised. JS does not deserve his point. I'm not his ex-target, but I know how it's been done from O.
Basta.

Posted by: Basta at September 13, 2007 9:32 AM

Jeudi 13
J ai enfin shooté ma cible aprés 1 semaine et demi.
J avais déjà fait deux tentatives mais la patience et l acharnement paient.

Je ne suis pas peu fier vu que la cible me connaissait on a même bu un coup ensemble lors d une des tentatives et qu il est un grand joueur de paintball. Aussi les nombreux aller-retour de son frere dans son domicile.
Mais ce Jeudi 13 fut pourlui un jeudi noir et le 13 est le chiffre qui lui portera désormais maudit Je tiens à le féliciter il avait déjà eu 2 meurtres a son actif .
Tapi dans l ombre dans sa cage d escalier, il a gouté le doux goût de mon fusil a pompe. Arrosé de la tête au pied sans avoir pu répliqué malgré le misereux colt qu il tenait dans sa main.
Au revoir Olivier et au suivant ça coule de source.LOL

Posted by: Sylar at September 13, 2007 11:15 AM

OSS117 barely escapes with his life : chapter 2

Oh my god ! I can't believe it... I was so tired when I lived my office. it started to be late (around 9PM) and I was so happy to go back home, as fast as possible...

the story : I arrive in front of my home with my scooter, make, as usual, a first approch just to see if everthing is clear... and it looks like ! everything is dark, calm, nobody, it really seems secure... but I don't know why, i decide to make another approch, more slowly, just to be sure... and a third one, it is so calm, so perfect, so strange... I use the light of my scooter to check the entrance, nobody... but I am paranoiac ! and decide to change the way I park my scooter, by going to the parking entrance of my bukding.

But using the elevator to go to my floor, I decide to make a stop at the ground floor, just to have a quick look...

And what a suprise !! My 2 little pussy, on the other side of the door !! thanks for coming boys !! I forgot to give to them the digicode... we was looking eatch other, me inside, pussy outside !!!

so cool !! much more, once again, Fench TV on AIR !!

Guys, let me give you advices
1- My home is now fully secure : I know that it is your favorite place to hunt, and decide to put a new organisation in place. Don't ask the digicode to my homekeeper, she will give you the wrong one, and call me asap. Don't stay in the entrance area, I have now 4 spies, who will call me if you come back...

2- just to give you some rest, I will not be in my home tomorrow night... I need to find my target, and it seems to be a hard one, so don't wast your time, i will go home later

3- I'll be in Saint germain, near mabillon, saturday evening...

4- I will not use my scooter anymore

5- please never forget that it is just a game ;-) and it is always a pleasure to see you !!

OSS 117

Posted by: OSS 117 at September 13, 2007 2:18 PM

Sloppy kills? Botched contracts?

Thats the result of sending children to do the work of men.

No style? Thats Paris for you.

I do wish I was able to join you on a Parisian holiday, but alas, when you tarvel your harem contracts me for their personal use.

Your third rate LRA will have to suffice.
Are they even third rate? I have my doubts.

Yours in sub-rosa,

Mr. Peter Stevens
Congress Occultus

Posted by: Mr. Peter Stevens at September 13, 2007 5:25 PM

Buckle up, John Sainclair, I'm racing for your top spot.

Posted by: H at September 14, 2007 5:04 AM

Damn !
That blog is as dead as England rugby team...

Posted by: D at September 15, 2007 6:26 AM

There is a rumor going on...
Commanders took of with all the french assassins' money and will never come back.
Some says they might even be dead....

Posted by: Wilt at September 17, 2007 7:55 AM

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