nil satis nisi optimum

I see a trend.

Mr. Peter Stevens has joined the team at Wholesale Liquidators!!

Oates, you've always been about bringing unbeatable savings to the people. Is there any way that can be topped?

How about bringing me aboard and bringing the people FOUR KILLS IN FOUR DAYS!!

That's right! It's official, we are open for business. This week during our marathon liquidation event we have a special deal on rain slickers and coffins! Cause some of you are going to need them sooner then you think!

unparalleled beauty...
unbeatable performance...
Wholesale Liquidators
merchants of death

we're coming to get you, we're coming to get you...

I know people are going to be liquidated this week but I wanted to share this story while I still can.

Yet another one of my "would be assassins" thought it a good idea to try and become Facebook friends with me. The latest, who we'll call "Max," not only befriended me but also my wife. I noticed on Max's profile that he has referenced Street Wars so I know this clowns motive.

It seems Max and my wife attended the same college. Max writes my wife an email telling her how he found her through their alumni network and would like to talk to her about the industry she works in. He also goes on to say how he happened to notice that her husband (me) is also in the same industry. Wow, that guy is good.

The wifey forwards me the email and I already have the trap in mind. She sets up the meet at a cafe. I'm careful not to suggest a bar so I can whack "Max the Mastermind."

Max shows up 15 min late and I can see him looking around for my wife. I quickly take position a little behind him. As he reaches for his cell phone to call my wife, I slide up and say, "Hey Max!" As he blurts out, "Yeah?" I am already leaving him with a soggy heart and say, "see you in 24 hours."

What ever happened to Agent Shuki?

Team Black Death is no more. Taken out by Mr. Stevens and Agent Oats, armed not only with guns, but with a chicken sandwich.

To the cowardly rogue assassin who opened my closed apartment window, and wet my entire living room when I wasn't home out of frustration for not being able to track me, take a lesson from Oats and Stevens...

Have some class.

Good luck to all, it has been an honor playing,

Blackness & Agentile
-Team Black Death
(4 Kills)

anyone after a target working for an ad agency near Bryant park ?
I might have useful info for you. Email me with their company name and phone number for verification and we'll try to work something out.

Whats your email.

search the blog

Blackness, Agentile--
It was great meeting, killing, and drinking with you fellas. Would have preferred the fireman-method, but chicken sandwich-strategy was a new one too. Great game, and see you at Drinks-for-the-Dead.

Olivia--
In time, I hope you will forgive us. While I don't expect you to appreciate the irony of how we killed you, understand your death was far more noble than the DQ of iceman, which was a blow to our moral code as assassins, and ultimately required retribution.

ALL--
3+ Days Left of Incredible Savings!... Nobody is safe from the Wholesale Liquidators™ Clearance Marathon! See you soon...

Agent Oats, you are a standup guy and a skilled killer. I am in awe of Wholesale Liquidators and hope to join someday.

Olivia needed to go. She was never going to kill anyone legitimately, you did her and the game a favor.

Iceman, we have much in common, before I neutralized Olivia for the first of 2 times, she tried to pull her ID card DQ trick on me...

I think we all know if Olivia kept working solo instead of relying on the help of the truly talented Rogues, Team Black Death would still be in it.

Good times all around and no hard feelings,

Blackness

not really @ blackness. we all would have just killed you in sudden death as you tried to win. We saved you the humliation and travel time.

from what stevens says you're a stand up guy no matter what kind of faggotry you post here. so i guess i'll have to say gg to you. try again next year. see you @ drinks for the dead.

FYI you might never want to park DIRECTLY infront of your targets' job,work, etc. Also neutralizations don't count as kills. I know you had 3 for sure with pilot being the third but scanning the board i don't see other kills.

if oates didn't kill olivia, i would have.You know just cause. I was actually going to do so.

The wet living room was for the sun tzu post.(think back,yeah that post)that was for all the players whom you pissed off and all the lagged iphones. If i had more water in the ammo agentile would have gotten the same at home that night.

<3 n \(^o^)/
Phire
Heavy Weapons Divison

**A public service announcement**

2nd ave is full of cops. if your hunting there be careful.

Phire,

4 kills:

1. Double-Knit Dynamite
2. Le Phenix
3. Drywall
4. Pilot

+

2 neutralizations on Olivia

Feel free to insult my game all you want, but deliberately drenching someone's personal property by opening a closed window, when there's no one home, shooting water all over my mantle, soaking all my family pictures, my laptop, and a power strip atop my fireplace that could easily have started a fire isn't exactly honorable behavior not to mention illegal.

Let's just call it a mistake, pretend that you thought I was home (even though I clearly wasn't) and pretend you're sorry, which for the sake of you being a decent person I hope is true.

I'm over it, but you should feel a little ashamed.

See you at drinks for the dead,

Blackness

Stevens is right, midtown east is kinda dicy, lots of cops, secret service, gestapo, etc because of the UN assembly. Be careful when you're pulling a gun around there.

ahhh i wasn't sure as to what was there. i saw clear carpet and curtain. Unlike the 'leader' of team mosad. i wont' say things happen. And offer some sucks to be you explanation.

I do apologize for that. It's an E-apologize but i'm willing to apologize face to face.

I am blood thirsty and do tend to get a tad bit overzealous. A coward i am not.

The blog stated 3 kills so we figured you killed a team leader and not both members. Killing team leaders just knock teams out.

either way we can chat more at d4d about your run

In other news my back pack came today for my baby. She won't go thirsty as quick as she once did. I can't wait to try it out. Maybe on a fly.

as Peter Stevens lamented when i told him this 'Great just what Phire needs, more water'

And the hulk gamma strike is huge. i was expecting a pistol i do like the under the belly pump action. I'm now fully armed and ready to play

Hoagie. Let's tango super soon.

Shadow Government. ice_man1898 here...

Team Scottie and Clyde is no more (killcode: bKotv7WR3y4HPBy) iced just a mere inches from entering the subway....

Here's the skinny,

After a long day at the office I check to see if my targets were at work, a simple phone call works and in minutes I'm downstairs doing recon on Parsifal. After scouting the perimeter, and knowing every possible route he could take, I go inside to wait at the choke point (his job only has one way in and no train stations on the same side of the street as it....... After a 3 hour wait, and numerous calls upstairs posing as a different delivery person, I get no answer, my luck so I think, he must be coming down now.... About 5 mins later my target (well someone that looked EXACTLY like him) walks past.... I take my position and follow, talking to no one on my phone.... once we get across the street, I notice that he didn't even look to see if anyone was tailing him, I say his name and he immediately turns on a dime and goes in a different direction..... I shoot him in the leg only to get asked "did you just spit on me", "No, it was water from my gun" I reply and then he walks off, I'm confused for a moment and then pull out my card and show him the paper I have with his pic on it and tell him to give me his card.... To my surprise, he tells me that even thought the pic looks just like him, it's not him......

Dejected, I go back to the front of his building and call up his partner just to ask whats up....

I'm sure Agent Yogi will explain the conversation we had and after telling me that Parsifal would have done the right thing it's back to game on, but since I'm still feeling dejected, I'm about to pack it up for the night when to my utmost glee, the real Parsifal emerges and takes off like a bat, not really running but a fast as hell walk... the streets are crowded and he keeps glancing over his shoulder to see if he's being tailed, but I'm smooth like ICE so I play the part, he turns and so do I, but I have to get in the street to get around the traffic, he cuts back through the building all the while glancing back, I duck behind a column and he disappears around the corner, I bolt after him dropping all my gear, stupid me.... to my surprise he didn't sprint to the train station ahead, still with the same fast walk, I know I have 6 seconds to get him, so I make my move and he never seen it coming but the cops did, I get him in the back, 1 step from the entrance to the station and right in front of the cops.... we go for a drink afterwards and talk about the kills we've made (Ira, what a coinicidence man, and Child Actor, one hell of a challenge)

Who's next kind sirs......

the ice_man cometh.....

Wow, saw this in the subway today:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/30808813@N07/2885639776/

I should have known that it was an ominous sign...for hours later I would be flash frozen by ice_man1898. Excellent kill sir, well deserved indeed, I hope that you go all the way...

Well played Team Scottie and Clyde. Agent Yogi and Agent Parsifal - you were absolute gems of players and it was an honor being wetted by you, and then working with you. You played hard, and your valiance shall be remembered.

Oh please ice_man1898, you wet yet another idiot and you think you're the man.

Phire, stop thinking you're in a movie.

Agent Stealth, my eyes hurt. A bunch of hipsters complementing each other is not a pretty scene. And there's no honor in being wetted by your roommate. Just as there's no honor in sleeping with anyone who spends more than 10 minutes talking to you.

Agent Oates, It must be real hard to make all those kills as a rogue. What, playing like a regular was too much of a challange for you? Or were you afraid you'll get wet 2 days after the game started? And taking out a single lame globix member makes you so hard you made a gif about it? Please, show us some half decent kill stories. If you can produce the kills, that is.

And that goes for everyone. The kill stories posted so far are as bad as ccrankyMidget's posts.

La Révolution

Mr Know It All, I'm a girl of few words but I do agree with your assessment. Email me tonight - I have a new brasilian wax I wanted to show you. I might also have a plan on how to overthrow the government. If you're interested send me an email. purpletini@gmail.com

PS too late for fried chicken

We thinks Mr Know It All and Purple Pussy are attention seekers. Boring. Snooze.

Let's go bowling!

oooooooooo bowling.

To all the killers out there keep it up. Last few days,Then the real fun starts.

To purple passion I have some sound advice for you about you meeting up with mr know it all
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Qg1k_CGkvc
check it out.

to Mr know it all. How about you stop talking generic shit from a FAKE log in. That's way more pathetic then anything I've seen on the blogs EVER. It's even more sad if you aren't even IN the game.

Phire, funny video but it's kind of ironic coming from someone who likes to pose like a gay model online. http://www.cpixel.com/album_view.asp?aid=599873

I predict you'll delete this album within an hour (and I haven't even mentioned the private album with your duck).

Purple Passion, nice try but I know who you are.

Phire - nice abs!!!!!1

you must not Know It All, gay models get all the pussy!

Phire - awesome body, your album views jumped from nothing to 26 and half of that must have been me.

Mr KIA - will I ever know who you are? you're such a tease. you speak the truth yet hide under a lie.

Oh don't worry Purple Passion. You will know me soon enough. In the biblical sense.

Mr KIA, for all I care, you could jump into a volcano.... I don't think I'm the man, I know it! Maybe, just maybe, if you can read well, you might learn something from me....

Practice doesn't make Perseverance makes Perfect...

You all can relax until I get my next assignment from the SG!

Oh, how magical, can't wait. I hope I won't be disappointed.

Give me a clue at least.

Feel free to whack off to my photos Know it all. I know your dad does.

Am i supposed to be impressed with your skills or embarassed? Cause i'm not feeling a bit of either. Slightly flattered if anything. You could have just googled my email and got the same picture if not cooler stuff ;p .those are so old i have a few tats maybe i'll update.

I predict you'll keep on trollin' and acting like you're gods gift to the game. You talk a good one but you're not doing anything but talk.

Agent orange/p2 thanks.

see you at d4td. Anyone up for a bowling field trip?

dear christopher walken,
Sorry if I pinned the blame on you wrongly. I wasn't that serious, just trying to coerce a response. So, I am working today in the evening between CPE and Lexington and between 70th and 86th st until an unknown hour. Tomorrow I have a job in the afternoon between 10th and 7th ave and 14th st and 30th st. Saturday I will be working in the meatpacking district below 14th street starting at 6pm. Sunday I will most likely be at d4td. All other times I will most likely be stalking my target to make 3 kills, so don't necessarily bank on me being home in the meanwhile. I am a dedicated lone wolf assassin. Again, sorry about the text. Apparently whoever was stalking me last was a douchebag about calling the office.

Bowling would rock my socks, my killing socks that is. They happen to be in the wash wouldn't you know?

Sunday afternoon before D4d would work best for me. Like 3 or 4ish...bowl a few games then head on over to BCC?

let's all go bowling!!!!!!!!1

Seriously, I'd be down for a field trip.

Mr KIA - know a good place to go bowling?

Sorry, just to clarify, by Christopher Walken, I mean whoever answers to phone number

(347)831-0143

Happy Hunting Everybody!!!!!!!!!!!
EVERYBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wink wink;)

Even though I too am a douchebag, I only accept the blame for douchebaggery that I am in fact responsible for. In Frankie's case, it wasn't me calling your job. Just clarifying. Our time together, Slayer, was sadly short-lived. Carry a change of clothes just in case Frankie. The fucker's who're after you now probably hunt quail with RPGs. On the plus side, the dude that sprayed me would probably run out of water after one pull of the trigger if you manage to duck it.

And he's probably a premature ejaculator.

Ole!

Fuck. That's probably too many probablies.

Ole!

Matador, was it you who called me today or did you get iced today? A team got you?

I never called you anywhere Frankie. Buena suerte!

Ole!

The Gutter is relatively close...relatively speaking.

Pregunta ...

Is D4tD worth the time? I have bevies of adoring señoritas to attend to that have so missed El Matador's gentle caresses over the last several days. He has not wanted to deplete his stores of man juice, choosing instead to spray all over his victims. Pollo frito putos!!!

Ole!

holy shit what a bunch of whining pansies. Street Wars NYC sounds like it's coming together like a retarded Voltron. bring this biotch back to L.A. already.

Fuck L.A. homez!

homez? That's all you could come up with? If this level of wit is any indication of the rest of the assasins in NYC, no wonder this time around has been crap-tastic. Seriously 117 DQ's? That's a joke, right SC? Mustache?

Please don't kill streetwars. Just sit out next time and leave it to the professionals.

GD Ninja, they must not teach you fuckers on the left coast how to read very well because it says Official Kill Count: 117 (too many DQs)....

Get bent, stop trolling our thread and just wait til they come back your gay area.....

To Frankie the hipster slayer: FRANCES I am the one who brought rain to the rivers and water to the seas, now you have woken my waves. Soon they will crash upon you. Call me Christopher Walken. I'm also known as balls out, just ask your mother. Now before i go on and lose your attention. Ill be sticken it to her behind the dumpsters at east 23rd st and FDR drive, across from the gas station, all day and night today in the wind and rain, then again Saturday night from 9:00 till 12:00. Dont be late, ill try to save you some.If mine or any other assassin want a turn please come. the line wont be long. Or if your the type to RSVP call her yourself 917-478-7069... Frances, your offer makes me sigh... Come out from behind the panties. their is only 3 days left for you to be a man. and still you hide behind a 10 year old pic, a house you never go to, and a job with no address and when i call ,you kick scream and cry. Whats wrong Frankie? need a hug? Ill show you how it is done. Call me Shit Talken Target Salken Mother Porken Cris Walken. I am the Aqua rat. And i challenge my assassin and any other LIVING assassin to the chance of a life time...A yacht for the living. To thous of us who have the balls. My yacht is standing by with a full bar= SAFE ZONE. On this coming Sunday at E23st. I will pull away from the dock at high noon. To the brave and dry go the spoils. Drink tickets and a view you wont soon forget. beyond the police barriers and through the BLUE double doors.NO shoos, NO shirt, NO DICE! Bring your card, your gun and your balls... ALL HAIL THE SHADOW GOVERNMENT