NYC 2008
Decisions, Decisions... - Now With Sexy New Formatting!!!
September 10, 2008 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 2:01 PM
Before I get into my daily musings, I will ask a question of you, assassins.
Agent Shuki, of the last pissing me off posting has contacted me and asked for forgiveness.
As I am a sociopath and have no emotion, I turn to you my assassins...should I reach deep down into my cold, black heart and forgive? Or should justice be swift, immutable and with no mercy?
Debate this in the comments.
As of this weekend, I will be canceling my afternoon harem pleasuring sessions and will be devoting that time to counting kills. Starting Saturday you will know the exact kill counts of all players and the total kill count.
Now, I leave you with some kill stories...I have to go knock the teeth out of some underage Thai boys to make them ready for oral servicing. My work never ends...sigh...
Frankie the Hipster Slayer made a snuff film featuring Agent Little My
I am writing to report the package that was delivered to my very doorstep and then murdered, return address one Frankie the Hipster Slayer. Agent "Little My" had her stamps canceled at approximately 5:42 PM. Mere hours after the receipt of my target package, intelligence revealed a possible weakness. A message was sent to target. Follows:"Hi there Lucia. My name is Frank and I am a model at SVA. I have worked in some photog classes, most recently for Thom Kletecka, but I mostly model for the drawing classes (Steve Gaffney,Judy Mannarino etc.) I also model at FIT, however I have found that SVA students' work is a bit superior which is basically why I am contacting you as you fit that stereotype, so don't be weirded out please ;). Here's the deal. I am also an actor, sort of...meaning I do long-form improv comedy at the REDACTED but I am starting to branch out into commercial and possibly film and hopefully more lucrative arenas. I am going to need headshots, but I want them to be really cool and artistic, not just typical "Hey this is me in the Meatpacking District looking at the camera knowingly with just the barest hint of a smile" generic crap. I want something that is going to actually make a casting agent pause on my picture because it is original. I know you're really not supposed to do that in the "biz" but that's just my style.
So, I saw your profile, and your pictures actually made me want to click on them to see larger than thumbnail sized versions, which has barely happened in the 2 hours I've spent trawling through these websites. But the totally random thing is that you had pictures of someone on train tracks, and I kind of had the idea of a shoot location on these train tracks near where I live (it's called Ridgewood, not NJ but Queens. You've never heard of it but it's only about REDACTED mins from the city via the @ train.) They are not subway tracks but barely used freight lines so safe to shoot on. I am willing to pay if you can do touch up work and photoshoppy things, and of course you can use it in your portfolio if you should want. However, my budget is a bit tight obviously which is why I am looking on sites like STU'ART and --god help me--Craigslist. If you are not into the idea of traveling out of the city into Queens, perhaps you have some other ideas? Well, now I am being presumptuous as to your interest,but, if you would be interested, please give me a call at (YOUR MOM's # HERE FOOLS) anytime and perhaps we can discuss details. If not, thanks for your time reading this run-on e-mail and any other leads would be sorely appreciated.
Sincerely,
Frank"The target, as expected e-mailed me back the very next day. Follows:
Hi Frank,
Thanks for your interest! I would love to do your headshots, and randomly enough I too live in Ridgewood. I just called you but no answer so I figured I'd send an email too. I can definitely do photoshoppy touch up work as you put it and am available at various times through the week. Personally I prefer evening light (you know, so called "magic hour") so i hope that works for you. Unfortunately the train tracks in my portfolio are in Paris so we can't shoot on them, but if you know how to get to these freight lines it sounds good to me. Please give me a call asap to talk details etc (RED)-ACTED
Talk to you soon,
-LuciaShe had clearly lost her natural protective instinct of fear. Elimination from the gene pool would be imminent and pertinent.
Random that I live in Ridgewood indeed. Even more random that I lived literally around the corner from her. It would have been easy to walk around the block to kill her, but that would leave me exposed and also would mean I wasn't lazy.
After an exchange of schedule information a meeting time was arranged. I watched as the target walked right to the door of my stronghold. Knock, knock. Who's there?
***
Globix Killed sunk the ship of Captain Capinurass
HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION ENDS IN SOAKINGThis is the first lady of team Globix, the Mistress Medusa Martin reporting our latest (and SECOND) slaughtering. SO called assassins, be warned, we are murdering faster than you can find your trigger finger.
Captin Capinurass lay bathed in my soaking wet and glorious wrath as of approximately 10:40 PM this Tuesday evening. This kill was not as pathetic as our first kill, yet the challenge has yet to be witnessed. The story of the hunt begins with Brock and Parkour stalking her yesterday. They were disgruntled by the fact that nobody seemed to live in this apartment. I continued the hunt this afternoon at her law firm, watching from the street and attempting to blend in with the blonds in business suits and pumps. After one hour, Brock and Parkour joined me. I found out from the Starbucks employee that she takes her grande lattes with skim only. USELESS information. It was time for real action. Parkour called her office, posed as a friend of hers, and found from her secretary she was not in. Suspicious as we are, we decided to ensure the target had actually left the premises before relocating. In order to do this I charmed the front desk rent a cop into allowing me into the business itself. I fed the next security guard the story that I was her friend from the University of Virginia and wanted to surprise her with a visit. Him blinded by my sweetness, he offered me her hours of entry and generously showed me a much more accurate photograph of her, kept in the law firm's database of course. He also ensured me that she had, in fact, left the building.
Parkour, Brock and I headed to her home to wait. and wait. talk to her neighbors. and wait some more. I gained entry to her building to leave her a friendly reminder that we were lusting to see her wet. As I left her building I felt my back get wet. I couldn't understand how she got me! As I turned I saw that it was in fact boys who shot me! They thought I was their target! SIlly boys, they thought the game was called OOPSIE, WE"RE RETARDED. Hey boys, its called assassin. And so, Brock and I continued to wait. and wait. we got into her building again, propped the door open and waited.When i saw a small blond girl running for dear life for the door I stepped forward and "popped a cap in her ass" to use her own poorly chosen and pussy moniker. She was doused in my wrath, my glorious fluids, and then turned to stone by my patience and precision. This is only the beginning of the end my friends.NOTE: this is our second victim who did not even own a gun. I mean, are you people for real?
xoxoxo
MEDUSA
***
The Battle Royale All-Stars 86'ed Agent #9
The Battle Royal Allstars would like to report our first kill. After hours of reconaisance, agent Number Nine was eliminated. The hit was the result of stellar inside intel and extreme patience. Being crew for a popular tv series, our mark was held up in a well lit studio stage with ample security but only one exit. Our man inside clued us to our mark's schudule. During our stakeout the team had the cops called on us, but some quick thinking (some "info" about a guy we saw bust out a car window) quickly sent them the other way. Upon his exit from the building Number Nine met three streams of fire as well as a well placed grenade. All in all he proved a valient opponent who forced us to use a considerable amount of resources. We look forward to our next assignment. BRA Kill Code: kFQhPokWcX1gE8jc
***
Scottie and Clyde aquatically raped the face of Agent Grant
Agent Grant: Confused till the end. ID: 797 Killcode: Bvwioxyh57hRKffJImagine the original Godfather film as a Shakesperean comedy of errors. This was our most recent assasignation.
Resulting from an email thread (see attached) that could only be described as incestuous, Sun Tzu-esque, and Machivellian, we ( Scottie and I) were able to lure our hapless and hopeless target to fantastical frappucino date at a Union Square location Starbucks. Being professional 'hashashins' we precalculated every situation and scenario. Our mark entered the Bucks, the Yang to my Ying was posted at an out of the way table, but her gun malfunctioned (!). She texted me, Emergency!! and I came in the back door, stopping at the bathroom to load my weapon, Al Pacino style, and strolled up to the target, pulling out my gun from a FedEx box to deliver the killing blow. Agent Grant almost seemed happy to be killed. WTF. He revealed to us that he had called HIS target from his cell phone. WTF.
Total newbness.
First kill - James Bond
Second Kill - GodfatherWhich film for Kill 3? Mission Impossible? JFK? Bourne Conspiracy? Layer Cake? Harriet the Spy? Get Smart? Come on...
***
The Mangler deported the Gringo Assassin
As I told you earlier, the plan was a restaurant stake out....wait for him to leave work and make my move. But on my way there, my secret agent (props!) notified me that he was at a neighborhood bar. Made my way there. Hung with Gringo until 4am...chewing the fat on different attack/defense techniques...threw back some Miller High Life....offered him my umbrella for defense...made sure he was filling up his gun regularly, since it was leaking...and in a moment of pure chivalry, Gringo Assasin offered to walk me to my car to protect me...with his VERY large Super Soaker......once we got to my car, Gringo got shot in the back with my very mini bra-stashed-pistol. Never trust a big butt and a smile.
***
Mors Mortis has officially changed Allkindsoftime name to Outoftime.
Waiting for him this morning near his apartment with my coffee and whiskey, I had spotted a runner fleeing from his building wearing a winter cap. Beginning to feel the thrill of the offing this mark, I was momentarily brought to earth when the po-po came to my position. A quick bribe of hookers and good cigars (I believe that a member of the shadow government can vouch for the quality here!!) had them agreeing that this would-be assassin needed two in the back of the head.Re-taking my position, I waited and saw my mark sprint from an opposite corner back into his building sans winter cap. I had made his ass and was ready. Not more than 10 minutes later does he come out wearing the same running gear and not even looking around. I follow him a few blocks call out his name as I am putting three in his back.
Went back to his place and coughed up the card.
Nothing is better with your coffee then whiskey and death.
***
Like little bitches, the Lone Rangers asked Agent Blue for his card and DQ'ed him.
Pussies.
Supreme Commander, Agent Blue has been terminated by way of disqualification. It was not a liquid death like the way we had imagined, but an extermination nonetheless. Guy Johnson approached Agent Blue at 12:15pm (or so) today while he was smoking outside his office building and asked him to produce his ID card. Agent Blue failed to do so. Per the Rule Book. we believe this means the Lone Rangers have made their first kill. Please confirm and let us know how we obtain information on our next mark.In umbra, igitur, pugnabimus,
Artic Shade
***
Killer Green Team packed and smoked some Pink Old Lady
> She should not have been playing this game in the first > place. She lied about her company being in the same > apartment as her residence. She gave a deceiving body shot. > Most of all she was not prepared for the caliber of Killer > Greene Team. All we had to do after we found out she works > in Manhattan every day and is a "big boned" woman, > so you know she needs to leave to eat at some point, was > wait outside her residence for her this morning. No problem > spotting her as I had dozens of photos of her in that same > white long-sleeve shirt off Flickr. After she walked by on > what she thought was a normal looking street we were right > there behind her, each side of the street covered. As soon > as she turned the corner I caller her cell and closed the > distance to the corner. As I casually walked right behind > her she went to pick up her "ever so important" > phone call which just confirmed our target and increasingly > made Pinkoldlady distracted..... I closed the > last 5 feet low and quiet and quickly double-tapper her > for the kill. She fired a retort after my kill, amusing. > Time of death; 7:58am. > > Please give Killer Greene Team her target info as she > claimed to have lost her file the night before and > didn't know shit about him. I don't think she had > done a thing yet. We are eager to get back in the game. > > ~Diamond Joe Quimby
***
DarkKnightG1 put Agent Chubbs on a liquid diet
Shadow Government, I have made my first kill, his name Agent Chubbs, his kill code is "1N1yVGr6kUKmhh_g" When and how will I receive my next assignment? The story of my first kill is as follows: This was my first time playing and my first target and the adrenalin was pumping. I did the research on my target, verified his work information and most importantly his myspace. Staked out his job during my own lunch break, but nothing came of it. It's like winning the lottery in the city if you can catch someone at the precise time of their lunch break. I decided to go to his home, called his job and confirmed work hours and thought since I leave at the same time I could beat him home. I arrived at his home, an apartment building. I got in so easy that it was creepy, thinkting o myself "what would happen if this was more that just a game?". I reached the 5th floor and saw the apartment number with a doormat with "Leave" written on it. I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. I had a concealed point of view from the top of the stairs leading up to the next floor. I waited. I waited some more. I heard his door open abruptly and shut. I thought I was spotted I thought tonight was wasted. As I was deciding what to do next I saw someone headed to the apartment. I chanced it and and ran down the stairs, all the while this guy kept looking at me awkwardly. He stopped and the targets apartment I stopped right next to the door. He just stared at me and he did not knock on the targets door. I looked him straight in the face and said "I'm here to see Jason" his body language relaxed he even let out a sigh of relief. He knocked on the targets door and as it opened I stepped out in front and pulled the trigger. One target down and oh so many more to go. I am officially addicted.
***
Comments
In the Mayoral line of business, you can't redact a shitty statement because your peers point out you're being an ungrateful little shit. Put Agent Shuki's teammate on public notice!!! Put their details into public record and let us handle them. The Mayors could use a 3rd kill in 4 days, we have time on our hands.
Posted by: Mayor Dinkins at September 11, 2008 10:24 AM
Take down the fucker. And while you're at it, take down my assassin for complaining to you about my work location. You're assassins people, in motherfucking NEW YORK CITY. Time to start acting like it, don't you think? My target's work information was incorrect, and upon further recon I did MYSELF, I found out his office was in fucking WESTBURY. Westbury! After staking it out, I had come to learn he never even went there, as his job location changes daily. Well, fuck me, but this is what I paid for, right? Bitches, complaining, limp dick, bitches.
Posted by: cupcake commando at September 11, 2008 10:26 AM
Killer Green - we need to talk - contact me ASAP: findyggdrasil@gmail.com
Posted by: Silentlane at September 11, 2008 10:34 AM
Everyone loves to speak of betrayal, but to betray takes opportunity. It's like finding an open window in a jailhouse. It doesn't happen everyday. When the opportunity comes, it screams to be taken.
Posted by: Dresden at September 11, 2008 11:11 AM
Listen here and listen good.
Leave Agent Shuki be.
But.
In exchange for letting Shuki and his/her said teammate continue their puny, futile attempt at victory, have Shuki dress like Governor Palin (in that 2 piece American flag bathing suit picture we've all seen)and serve hors d'oevres at the StreetWars Close Party.
Or some similar form of extreme humiliation.
Bruise the Agent's sense of self far beyond repair.
-Witch
Posted by: The Witch. Baby. at September 11, 2008 11:23 AM
I knew a Supreme Commander once. That Supreme Commander would have never considered forgiveness. He would have killed everyone in his family, with his small butterfly knife, except for possible additions to his Harem. Is all the death finally taking its toll on you?
What happened to that man?
Are you getting soft in old age friend? I hope not...
Yours in sub-rosa,
Mr. Peter Stevens
Congress Occultus
Posted by: Mr. Peter Stevens at September 11, 2008 11:47 AM
I knew Mr. Peter Stevens once. Mr. Peter Stevens would never have quit. He would have killed everyone in the tournament, with his modified Flash Flood, except for himself. What have your eyes seen that have taken such a toll on you?
What happened to that man?
Has married life made you soft, friend? I hope not...
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Posted by: Supreme Commander at September 11, 2008 12:29 PM
I popped the kid like I pop my collar.
Longer kill story to follow, meanwhile i'm awaiting new instructions...
Posted by: Agent Orange at September 11, 2008 3:00 PM
Are there 2 Agent Oranges?
Posted by: Chills at September 11, 2008 3:08 PM
seems to be. only difference is that i spell orange all upper case
Supreme Commander is this so or shall i make juice out of this fruit?
Posted by: Agent ORANGE at September 11, 2008 4:05 PM
Flomax just took a swim with the fishies.
Posted by: cupcake commando at September 11, 2008 4:56 PM
Upon receiving "the package" from the Shadow Government, it was pleasing to see that this mision would have not one, but three victims, the members of team Killer Greene. A reconnaissance mission was embarked upon inmediatamente to identify the targets' homes and their places of work. The locations were all canvassed, photographed and committed to memoria. Every corner, alley, vagrant, and crack-whore was identified and inventoried, making the likelihood of an unforeseen escape unlikely.
The workplace of Mr. Greene, el capitan of Killer Greene was infiltrated on Tuesday night, but he was nowhere to be seen. Apparently some erroneous intelligence had been obtained. The night was not a complete failure however as Mr. Greene "moonlights" as a panini purveyor of Plutonian proportions. The spicey tuna with oven roasted tomates was delish!
Wednesday night saw an incursion into Killer Greene's hipster downtown Brooklyn barrio. After a lengthy stakeout and no sign of the marks, hope was nearly lost. However, there would be no going quietly into the good night. Like a Horseman of the Apocalypse, Mr. Greene's associate Mr. Pink strode into the crosshairs of El Matador's sidearm. The weapon's stream of muerte aquatica was not sufficient to relieve Mr. Pink of his mortal coil and he hastily retreated on his steed, fortuitously dodging volley after volley of water-grenades. The night's excitement would peak there, but the thrill of the hunt had sparked and insatiable bloodlust that demanded it be seen to fruition.
This morning, a second incursion was made into Brooklyn. A covert unit was stationed just outside the target's home with inteligencia buena indicating that Mr. Greene would be leaving at an appointed time. Lo, the time was nigh. An obviously on-edge Mr. Greene exited his home, eyes darting to and fro, searching for the most minimal sign of danger, water balloon and gun in hand. Ignorance being bliss, he was blind to the imminence of his demise and had sealed the fate of team Killer Greene. As Mr. Greene made his way up his block, agent El Matador swept upon him like the Angel of Death. Mr. Greene attempted an escape, but it was all for naught. He tossed a well-aimed balloon, but El Matador would not be denied and the projectile was avoided with Baryshnikovian elegance. A righteous saturation unlike any witnessed heretofore was unleashed upon the victim. Time of death: 11:15am.
The humiliation of defeat still entrenched in his visage, Mr. Green had little recourse but to hand over his ID. "I didn't want to stop playing yet." Sorry hijo, death is no game. A quick dap and man-hug later, it was off to search for the next mark. Ole!
Yours in acrimony ... El Matador
Posted by: El Matador at September 11, 2008 5:58 PM
The Globix Corp would not tolerate such insubordination and neither should The Shadow Gov't!
Agent Suki must be fed to the rogues!
Posted by: FlipDog at September 11, 2008 5:59 PM
Vincent was sent to sleep with the fishes...
Posted by: Agent ORANGE at September 11, 2008 7:12 PM
Hey that's my line.
Posted by: cupcake commando at September 11, 2008 7:23 PM
Team WHOA-men has been sent to No man's land by the veterans division of the Globix corporation. TPS reports to follow.
Posted by: FlipDog at September 11, 2008 9:37 PM
I'm still alive Agent Charon. Ha. That's a funny Agent name. You're like the messenger boy for death right. Well, it's a good thing my policy is Don't Pay the Ferryman!!!
Hmm...what do you call the pebble sized moon of a has been planet?...I know....Nick.
PS. I get no props for the first video of the tournament. Really?
Posted by: Frankie the Hipster Slayer at September 11, 2008 11:22 PM
Frankie, why do you get so much joy from slaying your own kind?
Your time will come. Sleep tight. Tell your brother I said hi.
Posted by: Charon at September 11, 2008 11:46 PM
Video got you first post.
...and *I* liked it...which is really all that matters.
Supreme
Posted by: Supreme Commander at September 12, 2008 4:34 AM
I am going to say this once for people with low IQs,short attention spans and just general retardation my main point s are in caps. At pick ups I told the lot of you greenhorns the
3 basic rules in my opinon of being a professional.
1)be polite
2)be efficent
3)have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
feelings? Feelings are when some guy bludgens his wife to death with a golf trophy. We're professionals
Even though we are in a field where deciet and general rat bastardtry is actually a plus there is such thing as honor,with that said.
GIVING OUT FALSE INFORMATION is NOT ONLY STUPID.IT SLOWS DOWN THE GAME FOR OTHER PLAYERS.IT ALSO LOWERS THE LEVEL OF ENJOYMENT FOR EVERYONE INCLUDING THE PEOPLE ORGANIZING THE GAME BECAUSE WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH DISPUTES,OTHER ASSASSINS WORTH THEIR SALT HAVE TO HEAR THE BITCHING ON THE BOARDS.IT IS ALSO DANGEROUS, ONE OF MY SQUAD MATES HAD SOME STUFF STOLEN FROM HIM ON A STAKE OUT OF A POSSIBLE FAULTY ADDRESS. THINGS COULD HAVE BEEN ALOT WORSE.
It has been written that in i believe the art of war
'Take away your foes chance at victory without sacraficing your own' the is the true path to victory but giving false info AND ON TOP OF THAT NOT HAVING ANY KILLS TO SHOW FOR IT IS COWARDICE AND INCOMPTENCE
with that out there now. If I find that anyone giving out false info or find something to contradict the info provided. I will calmly go to your job during work hours and shoot you in the fucking face with the hydro blitz on burst mode. Period.You can deal with the consequences,I don't care.
DO NOT RUIN THIS GAME FOR OTHER PLAYERS. THEY HAVE PAID THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU HAVE TO PLAY AND EXPERIENCE THIS. DON'T BE A DICK.
thank you for reading
Posted by: Phire at September 12, 2008 6:34 AM
w0rd
Posted by: Agent Orange at September 12, 2008 6:42 AM
Extra! Extra! Mayor Dinkins was assassinated this morning!!
At a little after 7, Mayor Dinkins emerged from his Village duplex, groggy, eyes still blood shot from drugs and stinking of imported single malt. Behind him a bed full of satisfied interns, in front a city to run and lives to ruin. Upon emerging, the sun hit his eyes and the smell of urine hit his nose on of his Secret Service agents noticed a suspicious character and dove into action, firing in all directions. When the echoes of the shots faded, the threat had escaped and secret service called the area clear. As security turned to check on one of The Cities finest Mayors, they noticed his custom suit with one single shot through the imported silk where if he had one his heart would have been.
The actual assassin, hidden on the grassy knoll behind a homeless man stood defiantly. There eyes locked bested by the "lobbed snowball in the air, hard thrown snowball in your face" trick that runs rampant on middle school playgrounds throughout the city, the "threat" he was protected from was only a decoy.
With the morning sun on his face and weeping whores at his back, Dinkins knew he would not be up for reelection. Chalk it!
Posted by: Mayor Dinkins at September 12, 2008 7:07 AM
If you guys are having problems with rule please email me at blakkphire@yahoo.com. Disputes the more info you have the better and the stronger your case. I will be judge and jury, in extreme cases the executioner.
Posted by: Phire at September 12, 2008 8:03 AM
ATTENTION HUNTER(S) OF THE TRIGGERMEN.
I HAVE INFORMATION YOU WILL FRICKIN' LOOOOVE.
CALL ME: 917 744 0138
Posted by: TRIGGER ONE at September 12, 2008 9:45 AM
After several fruitless days of evading the Urban Hippy, ACRONY has finally felt the soggy drip of defeat.
Killcode: eKnT3oi6ihVJ2QE5hvP
Details to follow…
Posted by: Urban Hippy at September 12, 2008 9:58 AM
Mr. Rigaud, you got lucky yesterday, what are the odds that you'd be in the office and NOT in YOUR CLASS yesterday as I came to pay you a visit??? And OMG, walking up all those stairs must not be fun, don't worry, your colleagues were eager to give you up and it won't be long for you now.....
Posted by: ice_man1898 at September 12, 2008 10:42 AM
To my clueless assassin,
I was on my way back home last night when at 1:17am you called. Thank you for the heads up. I knew to delay my return by another 30 minutes.
With rain forecast for the weekend and you never even seeing me, it seems the one kill per week rule is going to apply to you fast. I hope you find the $45 game fee worth long stakeout with no action. Please play again next year.
HH
Posted by: OW at September 12, 2008 10:50 AM
heh man I really should have spell checked but I was pretty pissed when it I typed that.
Anyway good job to the people who are putting in the work.
Keep it up. Exterminate the weak so that when the real game begins we have strong rivals to face.
For all the bitch asses you know who you are. Your days are numbered.
Posted by: Phire at September 12, 2008 10:52 AM
Commanders,
I have made a most interesting discovery. Upon reviewing the rule book, it states, under Disqualifications & ID Cards,
"...Keep this ID on you at all times. Your assassins can demand to see your card at any given time (though not in safe zones)."
Would this not negate the pussified killing of Agent Blue by the Lone Rangers? According to their story, Agent Blue was in his safe zone having a cigarette.
Posted by: cupcake commando at September 12, 2008 11:07 AM
Or rather, would it negate the "killing". That's like the lamest way to take someone down.
Posted by: cupcake commando at September 12, 2008 11:10 AM
Email me @ blakkphire@yahoo.com Try to keep this shit off the board.
Posted by: Phire at September 12, 2008 11:17 AM
Going through the kills its seems as if you are their only kill. Getting them on a tech like that is pure bitch shit. Creative but bitch.
I say the kill should not stand. Why in the hell would you approach your target IN A SAFE ZONE. You're not going to see week two if you don't earn a kill we don't want bitches and pussies in the game bitches and pussies in the bed room of the most esteemed Shadow Gov't officals.
No weaksauce allowed
Posted by: Phire at September 12, 2008 11:36 AM
Agreed…no pride unless guns/balloons are drawn. On that note:
To the credit of my victim, he’s been a very hard man to track down. His neighbors revealed nothing, his company…even less. Finally, the infinite patience of the seemingly-gentle Hippy beginning to wear thin, I decided to take the fight to his home turf. I found out from a dude in the corner deli (who used to live in my target’s building) that there was no elevator, only one set of stairs, no roof access, and a side door at ground level that lead to the series of back alleys behind the building. Climbing a few fences and fire escapes confirmed this. Even better, there was a window next to the side door through which I had a partial view of the stairs, and the door was ajar. Three hours later, a group of people descended. I wasn’t positive that my target was actually one of them, so I took a risk and went through the door into the lobby to get a solid ID. If having a stranger walk through a rarely-used side entrance seemed suspicious, my newspaper, coffee cup, and genuine state of hung-over’dness must have assuaged his fears. Target established, I ambled out the front door ahead of them, turned the corner, waited a moment, and drew. I got him just as he came out the front door…double tapped in the throat…never even had time to scream. As Nixon said…never trust those damned hippies.
Posted by: Urban Hippy at September 12, 2008 11:54 AM
Oh Charon. You poor inept gothic man.You've made so many mistakes already. You contacted my brother to pose as an old friend of mine from college who wanted to "surprise me" after work. Even if I wasn't a wanted assassin, that would be suspicious, and a bit creepy. You also contacted me with the lamest alibi ever. "I think you're my bartender" was your Myspace friend request message. Yeah, I'm your bartender. Ahem...can I get you another Campari and coke sir.
You used the same name (your real name) to contact us both. Thanks to your Myspace request, I now know what you look like. Thanks to Facebook, I know even more what you look like. I know that I can easily outrun you.
I know this city which is where I'm from Nick, I know the streets, I know who belongs on them, who's out of place, where to go if I sense trouble and the best way to get to safety. I know when to go home, and I know when and how to leave home.
I know things.
Good luck to you.
Posted by: Frankie the Hipster Slayer at September 12, 2008 11:58 AM
Richard Nixon broke the heart of the American Dream
Posted by: Agent Orange at September 12, 2008 12:19 PM
I remember Frankie the Hipster Slayer from last street wars. He's seems to be a model-killer, and yet a model? Where was that video you made from last time?
Good luck staying alive - hipster-slayers can be slayed by hipsters. Or the ghosts of hipsters.
p.s. you forgot your rose on my door step.
Posted by: Agent Stealth at September 12, 2008 12:44 PM
Its really easy to avoid being killed when you are a different location each day for work and dont provide any type of scheduling information. I wouldnt be surprised if you dont even live at the addresses listed on your documentation.
It wont stop me from my kill though.
Posted by: Charon at September 12, 2008 12:50 PM
Agent Charon aka Nick Schmidt or Nicholas Schmidt
You wouldn't be surprised? You call my Bushido into question!!?? We'll what if I just told everybody that I lived at 6024 Woodbine St. Ridgewood NY 11385. Well, that would mean your killer now has the "wrong" address too, wouldn't it? Hey, maybe you guys will run into each other!!!
Happy Hunting!!!
You're full of excuses for my dryness, bitch.
Scheduling info:
Now thru Sunday: OFF- AND NOT LIKELY TO BE HEADED OUT INTO THE RAIN. GOT A SWEET NEW XBOX GAME TO PLAY
MONDAY- WORKING SOMEWHERE EAST OF PARK AVE IN THE 20's during daylight hours
TUESDAY WEDNESDAY: SOMEWHERE WEST SOHO ALL DAY
Posted by: Frankie the Hipster Slayer at September 12, 2008 1:44 PM
Agent Stealth, so sorry to hear about your untimely demise. I'd shoot my own mother in a second if I suspected she might be an assassin.
As far as the video that was made of my kill from last year, I never got to see it. The video was filmed by a contact that the Shadow Government sent me, and after filming it,he never returned my calls or texts. Believe me, I was pissed about not getting it because it was a pain in the ass to orchestrate and I'm sure it would have been a lock for best visual kill, the whole thing was fricken hilarious.
Posted by: Frankie the Hipster Slayer at September 12, 2008 1:54 PM
I think we broke some record this year with the amount of shitty people breaking rules and ruining the game for everyone else. It seems one of the team leaders has been in the west coast since the game started. How low can you go?
Posted by: poet at September 12, 2008 2:06 PM
One Wet A&R...
After a week of ding dong dash stealth and heavy breathing calls, our target is rattled, weary. At the ungodly assassin hour of 8am we sit down with a delicious breakfast of hashish and bialys right next to our marks apartment. Stealth. Deep in conversation, we barely notice his exit. SHIT. Thats him. Tats. Signature shades. Plenty of man jewelry. Our mark is made. Agent Wonder takes off. Dead heat. Agent Rewd saunters behind. He turns. We're made. Passersby brace for a street brawl. Daddy Sparkles grasps for his princess lookin piece. PopPopPop. Sparkles answers with a FUCK. Acknowledges the kill like a professional. Blood lust is pumping, Shady Gov. Send us into the rain. We tote it motherfucker. In the immortal words of Bone Crusher: I Aint Never Scared. Holler at youre A&R wetting gangstas.
Posted by: Team RewdWonder at September 12, 2008 2:45 PM
One Wet A&R...
After a week of ding dong dash stealth and heavy breathing calls, our target is rattled, weary. At the ungodly assassin hour of 8am we sit down with a delicious breakfast of hashish and bialys right next to our marks apartment. Stealth. Deep in conversation, we barely notice his exit. SHIT. Thats him. Tats. Signature shades. Plenty of man jewelry. Our mark is made. Agent Wonder takes off. Dead heat. Agent Rewd saunters behind. He turns. We're made. Passersby brace for a street brawl. Daddy Sparkles grasps for his princess lookin piece. PopPopPop. Sparkles answers with a FUCK. Acknowledges the kill like a professional. Blood lust is pumping, Shady Gov. Send us into the rain. We tote it motherfucker. In the immortal words of Bone Crusher: I Aint Never Scared. Holler at youre A&R wetting gangstas.
Posted by: Team RewdWonder at September 12, 2008 2:49 PM
Team Globix,
You seem to not have learned from your mistakes when there was an e in your name.
Men in Black
Posted by: darkness at September 12, 2008 4:15 PM
oh frankie. You are fast. I won't let you get away from me again.
Posted by: Charon at September 12, 2008 6:51 PM
thwarted an attempt on Agent Charon tonight. He was hiding in the predictable spot. Oh shit. He's right here. Wow, just had a real time encounter there, but it ended in stalemate on the train platform. I warned you I was fast. I'm sure we'll meet again. Until then, I live.
Posted by: Frankie the Hipster Slayer at September 12, 2008 7:04 PM
Phire - that totally sucks that your boy got robbed, but its a rough neighborhood up there and shit happens. Team Mossad has not given any false address information and we resent the accusation. In this particular case, my partner has worked hard to stay dry and her work has paid off. Let's call it what it is, a shitty circumstance, but nobody's fault. The information submitted is legit.
Posted by: Shuki at September 12, 2008 7:56 PM
in a bizarre twist of events, Agent Charon was at the same event I was attending. During a a reading at the Poetry Brothel, Frankie the Hipster Slayer met his untimely demise, a cup of absinthe in his hand. An excellent death if I do say so myself. Until next year...
I suppose I'll be seeing everybody at the functions...
Bushwick what
Posted by: Frankis the Hipster Slaying Ghost at September 12, 2008 8:50 PM
the hipster slayer has been killed. The hit was sweet, the absithne even sweeter.
A full write-up to follow after I'm done being drunk.
Posted by: Charon at September 12, 2008 9:22 PM
I was going to type out a super long post but i'll sum it up since i'm tired and i need to charge up.
1)It's a bummer that it happened. You owe an apology at least to the man for this. No excuses and some sort of justification,just an apology.Judging from the emails you sent to the SC if this happened to your teammate or your noob ass you'd be up in arms about this shit and probably quit playing. He is a patriot so he finished the mission rather than go home crying.
2)Your teammate gave about 40-50% real info.A terrible body shot and as one of the squad put it 'one of those extended monster shots'. Season'd vets can get around this(how do you think we found her so fast?)but it is a pain noobs will be baffled and go to the dispute route. This shit slows the game down you have a week to kill someone not a month.
You also whined about this being done to you? But it's ok for you to do it?What you complain about someone and then when you're on the hot seat you claim you're being wronged? Typical...
You couldn't even defend your point today in private why are you going to embarrass yourself here?
This sort of shit drags the game out. floods the board with usless shit. if you really want me to air it i will
Posted by: Phire at September 12, 2008 9:23 PM
Well I'm confused.
Posted by: cupcake commando at September 12, 2008 9:42 PM
To the coward hunting Blackness. You are cute in an exotic middle eastern way and I will happily sleep with you when this war is over.
However, you are going to have to do better than an email where you ask for an informational interview with yours truly...
Here's some information, Blackness will cover all.
Posted by: Blackness at September 14, 2008 9:22 AM
Post a comment
Contact your Shadow Governement Official: liveinfear@streetwars.net
BLOOD!!!!
Agent Shuki action was a slap to your face. Even when slapping was fashionable, some guy would come up, *SLAP* "I challenge you to a duel." They would have a gunfight after that!
Somebody has to go!
Posted by: Charlie Murphy at September 11, 2008 10:10 AM