NYC 2008
The End
October 6, 2008 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 8:22 AM
2008 Winner: Aquaman (formerly of the River Rats)
Most Kills: Agent Orange (6)
Golden Mustache Award: Hebrew Hammer
Best Kill Video: Frankie the Hipster Slayer
Best Kill Story: El Matador
...and so it ends...
However, just because the current tournament is over does not mean I should deprive you of my profane words and irrational thoughts.
So, I will continue sharing thoughts with my "adoring" public here on this blog...at least until the next game begins.
<3
Supreme
Kill Story winner and kill video after the jump.
Best Kill Story:
El Matador smoked Killer Greene TeamUpon receiving "the package" from the Shadow Government, it was pleasing to see that this mision would have not one, but three victims, the members of team Killer Greene. A reconnaissance mission was embarked upon inmediatamente to identify the targets' homes and their places of work. The locations were all canvassed, photographed and committed to memoria. Every corner, alley, vagrant, and crack-whore was identified and inventoried, making the likelihood of an unforeseen escape unlikely.
The workplace of Mr. Greene, el capitan of Killer Greene was infiltrated on Tuesday night, but he was nowhere to be seen. Apparently some erroneous intelligence had been obtained. The night was not a complete failure however as Mr. Greene "moonlights" as a panini purveyor of Plutonian proportions. The spicey tuna with oven roasted tomates was delish!
Wednesday night saw an incursion into Killer Greene's hipster downtown Brooklyn barrio. After a lengthy stakeout and no sign of the marks, hope was nearly lost. However, there would be no going quietly into the good night. Like a Horseman of the Apocalypse, Mr. Greene's associate Mr. Pink strode into the crosshairs of El Matador's sidearm. The weapon's stream of muerte aquatica was not sufficient to relieve Mr. Pink of his mortal coil and he hastily retreated on his steed, fortuitously dodging volley after volley of water-grenades. The night's excitement would peak there, but the thrill of the hunt had sparked and insatiable bloodlust that demanded it be seen to fruition.
This morning, a second incursion was made into Brooklyn. A covert unit was stationed just outside the target's home with inteligencia buena indicating that Mr. Greene would be leaving at an appointed time. Lo, the time was nigh. An obviously on-edge Mr. Greene exited his home, eyes darting to and fro, searching for the most minimal sign of danger, water balloon and gun in hand. Ignorance being bliss, he was blind to the imminence of his demise and had sealed the fate of team Killer Greene. As Mr. Greene made his way up his block, agent El Matador swept upon him like the Angel of Death. Mr. Greene attempted an escape, but it was all for naught. He tossed a well-aimed balloon, but El Matador would not be denied and the projectile was avoided with Baryshnikovian elegance. A righteous saturation unlike any witnessed heretofore was unleashed upon the victim. Time of death: 11:15am.
The humiliation of defeat still entrenched in his visage, Mr. Green had little recourse but to hand over his ID. "I didn't want to stop playing yet." Sorry hijo, death is no game. A quick dap and man-hug later, it was off to search for the next mark. Ole!
Yours in acrimony ... El Matador
Best Kill Video:
NYC 2008
What I'm Doing.
October 4, 2008 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 1:19 PM
Mustache and I will be shopping at Macy's at 730pm.
Rogues might be around to help carry our bags...
After that, around 830pm, we'll be going bar hopping in Williamsburg. Hopefully, aside from getting nice and drunk, we'll be kicking those tight pants wearing hipsters in their testicles and having unprotected sex with their women.
Once we are properly drunk, women have been impregnated with our seed and we have kicked enough hipster ass, and assuming I'm not dead yet, we'll be heading to the large construction site behind my building.
It will be fun.
I'll update with bar specifics once we get there...but we're looking to beat the shit out of some trust fund artists/musicians. So, you should know where to find us...
<3
Supreme
NYC 2008
My Plans For The Day.
October 4, 2008 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 6:26 AM
It ends tonight.
Either you kill me or I will personally take each and every one of you out myself, like I did to Agent Apollo. Walked right up to him and shot him in the face from not even 5 feet away. He never saw it coming. Neither will you. Perhaps this is the year no one gets the golden gun...
My plans for the day:
I will be "shopping" at Macy's in the late afternoon - around 5.
Then I will be bar hopping in hipstertown around 8 or 9 (ideally, I will also be curb stomping some hipsters while I am there - you will be able to recognize me as I will have asymetrical haircut scalps and white belts as hunting trophies).
...and if I'm still not dead after I'm nice and drunk, then we'll meet up in a very special location.
I will post specific details about my schedule at around 3pm.
See you soon.
Supreme
NYC 2008
Reminder: StreetWars Awards Party this Sunday!
October 3, 2008 - Posted by Mustache Commander at 12:25 PM
Seriously, it is going to be retarded fun. Meet all the trash talking motherfuckers in the flesh. Drink, make out, make up, and oh, please DO NOT BRING LOADED WEAPONS in the club. Mr Terry C., the lovely gentleman hosting us at Le Royale would enjoy his club not fucked up. Thanks. And please to see everyone there. And don't be shy about bringing friends, especially if they are loose of morals, and hot.
NYC 2008
Face Palm aka Not This Shit Again
October 3, 2008 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 9:07 AM
Look.
Look what you did.
Even Jesus is ashamed of your faggotry.
NYC 2008
mincey fucking faggot balls
October 2, 2008 - Posted by Eevil Midget at 6:29 PM
THIS IS SUDDEN DEATH. Not a game of hide and seek, you motherfucking pussbucket cunt-suckers!!
Like we give a fuck that you spotted our rogues.
Like we give a fuck you were in the area.
Like we give a fuck you can smack talk on this blog.
We had no idea that you were all a bunch of babies. So, seeing as you like to be breast fed, how about this - The HEADQUARTERS of the Shadow Government is now NO LONGER SAFE, in other words, come and get him in the comforts of his home.
Frankie the shitster slayer. You fucking wash dishes at your fancy restaurant. You couldn't take the time off to do something more worthwhile?
Carl Spangler III. You should probably spend less time being turned on by your fancy outfits and sending me 'drunken texts' and actually show us your balls. I feel like personally setting fire to your cunting bushwack club or whatever you call it, as you're always arse-holed up in that place.
I can't even be bothered with everyone else.
At this rate, we're considering giving the title to the fruit with the golden gun. I mean he's dead and juiced and all, but he's better than any of you fuckers with his SIX kills. He was just stupid enough to fraternise with his rogue roomie and pay for a cheap photo booth dance. But damn, even from the morgue he remains the kill LEADER.
Are we really facing the unbelievably bullshit reality, that this may be the year that no one actually gets to wet the Supreme Commander? Holy fuck?!!
COME AND GET US YOU BUNCH OF BITCHES. We are waiting. No really, we are HERE.
PISS KITTENS. I can't believe we are even bothering with you lazy pathetic pissants.
NYC 2008
The Smell of Fear...
October 2, 2008 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 12:45 PM
Either you are too scared or too dumb to kill me.
Yesterday I actually went out and walked my dog...not a fucking chirp from you assholes. Granted, I understand that my skills and large penis are extremely intimidating but, sometimes you have to face your fears, no matter how uncomfortable they make you.
To show that I still have some compassion in my cold, black heart, I will give you pig-rapers a solid chance at me with no fear that my boys will kill you...
Assuming you do not have Jenkem for brains, you should already know I work at 560 Broadway. Today I will leave work between 630 and 8pm.
The rogue assassins are under strict orders to not shoot.
You still scared, pussies?
Supreme
NYC 2008
Pussy
October 1, 2008 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 9:05 PM
I truly believed that with so many veterans in Sudden Death, I could have made it a challenge - given you obstacles to overcome and that you would have not come up wanting.
Alas, I was wrong.
It seems that you really have learned little and still need me to hold your hand. Like your parents, I am disappointed in you.
...and so, you leave me no choice but to make things easier on you. Tomorrow evening I will remove one of my safe zones. Also, I will let you know that I generally leave my cover job at around 7pm.
If I'm not dead by tomorrow evening, I strongly suggest you get a car. I have fun plans for Friday.
Until we meet, I remain dry.
Supreme Commander
Shadow Government
Contact your Shadow Governement Official: liveinfear@streetwars.net