Game Updates/Player Stories

The Death of the Supreme Commander

August 30, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 10:41 PM

You have no idea how much it hurts to relive the events of my death...and yet, the horrible events leading to my demise must be chronicled...

Thankfully, the winner of the tournament, aside from having excellent control of a water gun also has excellent control of language and has seen it in her heart to write up the story of my death so all you non-winners can see how it is supposed to be done.

Respect Abi...and some respect for your teammate Anita as well...you owe her big time...if not for her "distractions" y'all would be dead instead of me...

Thankfully I have an infinite number of lives...I'm too damn strong to kill permanently. So, enjoy this victory while it lasts...

And now, without further ado...the story of my death in London.

Dear lovers,

We’ve neglected our duties for a week. It’s time to set the record straight about how you met your watery demise. And spend some work time writing personal emails.

Thursday evening:

18:00hrs Agent Bi and Agent Aleph compose a bogus e-mail to the Gribster (hi!) pretending to be Supreme, entitled “Drier than a Nun’s Crotch”. It went a little (a lot, actually) (actually, this is the actual email) like this:

Aaah. now that was satisfying.

Anyway, back to my duties to you... not that you deserve it you lazy excuses for "assassins". I'd have been wetter waiting for you douchebags in the Sahara than I was on Russell Street. Hopefully you can prove me wrong this time...

Liverpool Street - EC2M - If you can't find me from this information you're not even worthy for the rogues.

Peep the website and I'll give you one more clue if no one makes an attempt by this evening, I will give even more info...I'm frankly getting a bit bored...

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

18:30hrs Agent Bi arrived at said Starbucks whilst Agent Aleph sent the email and awaited a reply (he didn’t reply). Bi found a cunning hiding place on an office balcony overlooking the Starbucks and she waited… and waited…

19:00hrs and waited…

20:00hrs and waited…

20:05hrs and gave up…

20:10hrs Agent Aleph checks details of all Starbucks in central London open late. She sends Agent Bi to Leicester Square and then the Trocadero. Leicester Square is the only Starbucks open late which has Wi-Fi access, so Bi positions herself behind a book and settles down for the evening.

21:30hrs Agent Aleph has pressed the refresh button on the Streetwars blog 1836 times in the past 3 hours. Supreme has still not posted a blog, despite his promise to do so “later”.

23:00hrs Agent Aleph is thrown out of work, where she has been waiting in case a blog is posted (she is a pauper and has no internet at home). Agent Bi is thrown out of Starbucks (she is a pauper and has only bought one drink in 3 hours). But that is not why she was thrown out, Starbucks closed.

23:30hrs The Agents met at Hotel Russell, as it was close to Supreme’s first blog of the day. They asked whether their “friend” Franz had checked into their hotel the previous night. He hadn’t. They checked some other hotels in the vicinity with no success. Slightly dejected, they headed for Agent Bi’s house. Aleph, the “sacrificial lamb”, went first, checking the coast was clear – the rogues would be less likely to be looking out for Aleph at Bi’s residence. Being satisfied that the coast was clear, Bi made a bolt for it while Aleph opened the door on the count of 10. TEAMWORK! YEAH!

00:30hrs As the agents were warming themselves up for bed, Aleph’s phone suddenly rang. Guess who? The conversation went something like this:

Aleph: Hello? (pretend sleep voice)

Supreme: Anita Marsden? (American accent)

Aleph: Yeah? (pretend sleep voice)

Supreme: Did I wake you?

Aleph: Er… no. Don’t worry I was just being fake asleep. (Chortle).

Supreme: I was just wondering what you guys were up to?

Aleph: We’re waiting for you to come round for your lapdance, Supreme.

Supreme: Really? (He thinks: Mmmm, Aleph and Bi are so hot, I am so tempted by their sexy offer). What time were you expecting me?

Aleph: As soon as you can – we’re at Agent Bi’s house, why don’t you pop over?

Supreme: Sure. I guess… Although that would be suicide. Why don’t you girls come round to my hotel?

Aleph: Erm… wouldn’t that be suicide for us? We’re going to have to have a think about this one. We’ll call you when we know what we’re doing.

Supreme: OK. Someone is going to die tonight…

The agents called the hotel to find out which room number the phone number belonged to. 402.

01:00hrs Aleph and Bi exit the flat and make their way to some SHITHOLE hotel “Threadneedles”.

01:40hrs As they approach the Hotel they see a couple of workers on a late shift. Agent Bi and Aleph persuade one of them to call the Supreme Commander pretending to be the Gribster, on his way to the hotel. The agents want to know whether there were going to be any unwelcome intruders on their lapdancing slash killing date with Supreme.

Supreme: Hello?

Worker man: Hi it’s Rob Gribbin. I’m on my way.

Supreme: (Sounding taken aback) Hi Rob, how are you doing?

Worker man: I’m OK. I’m on my way.

Supreme: You’re on your way? How did you find me?

Worker man: Er… I’m on my way. See you soon. (Hangs up)

01:45hrs Having ensured that at least the Gribster hadn’t been invited, the agents assume that their date is exclusive. Agent Aleph calls Supreme and arranges for the two agents to meet him in the lobby (predesignated a “safe zone”) at 02:30hrs. She claims it will take them that long to get there. Hehe, as if.

01:50hrs Agent Aleph enters the hotel lobby, walking closely behind a man delivering the morning papers. She headed for the kitchens to find somewhere to drop her bags and hide while she waited for Supreme. She heard footsteps approaching the area and stood up to see a couple hand in hand looking as if they were searching for somewhere to have a bit of late night “fun”. She greeted them politely, surprising them. They claimed to have got lost searching for the lift. They turned to leave and Aleph, thinking they might be able to help her, asked if they were staying in the hotel. They said they were and so Aleph asked which room they were in. “402”. Alarm bells rang in Alephs head. She calmly directed them back to the lift and walked off in the opposite direction. She descended to the depths of the hotel basement, a dark, tombraider-esque concrete arrangement of arcs and passageways.

01:55hrs Agent Bi enters the hotel and heads for reception. A couple appeared to be checking in. They walked off toward the lifts as Bi approached. The man on reception asked Agent Bi which room she was in. “402” she said. The couple turned their heads. Giveaway!! Agent Bi followed the “couple” and watched them take a lift. As soon as the door had shut she ran through the nearest door – to the kitchen. Working her way through some passageways she found her partner, despite having had no contact with her due to the lack of phone reception in the hotel. Great minds think alike.

02:20hrs The agents realise it is almost time to meet with their lover. On the basis of Aleph’s honed skills in flirtation, and cleavage, she heads up to the lobby to await Supreme. Agent Bi agrees to explore and hide in the underbelly of the hotel and show no mercy to any who invade her territory.

02:45hrs Agent Aleph has been waiting for 20 minutes and Supreme has not showed up. She is pissed off. She calls him. A man answers the phone in a fake American accent and tells her he’ll call her back. He didn’t.

02:55hrs Agent Aleph calls again. Supreme answers the phone. “You’re late” says Aleph. Supreme was really apologetic, saying he had just gone down and couldn’t find her. It transpired that, terrified that the Gribster was hot on his toes, he had begun having paranoid delusions and when he saw Aleph, he thought he saw a blond man on a laptop.

03:00hrs Supreme joins Aleph on the couch. They flirt, they chat, they bond. He asks where Agent Bi is. Aleph tells him she has just checked into their room and is preparing it for their night of passion. Supreme is visibly turned on. Aleph sees Alex Blue run across the landing. She asks Supreme if he has invited any of the other players to the hotel, saying she had just seen someone with blue hair. Supreme curses the lack of subtlety of his rogues and asks Aleph if they had informed the Gribster of his location as he had received a phonecall from him. Aleph makes a mental note (fooled! Aha haha). She tells him the truth but he was too paranoid to listen.

03:30hrs Agent Bi has been doing a thorough check of all “backstage” areas of the hotel. It’s clear. Every so often she hears footsteps but she sees no one. She works out that there is only one unlocked entrance to the whole staff only area. She heads for it and finds a hiding place where she would be able to shoot anyone coming through the door before they would be able to get her.

03:35hrs Agent Aleph asks Supreme how he proposes that this stalemate ends. He asks Aleph to make a suggestion. She proposes a new rule: as long as they are together, they are safe from each other anywhere in the hotel. Supreme says “I do like to live dangerously”. Aleph says “I’m in more danger than you because I’m in danger from all of your rogues and you’re only in danger of Agent Bi”. Supreme is convinced. They “take a walk”. As they begin to exit the lobby area Agent Aleph sees some very small shoes at the bottom of a lift. She shoots them. A little moan escapes the fallen rogue, Evil Midget. Realising she was in imminent danger as the rogues were closing in, she walks to the door to the staff only area and flings it open. Bi is ready and as soon as the door opens she sprays her deadly poison. As Aleph opened the door, she is first to take the fire but Supreme’s attempt to throw himself out of the line of fire fails, Agent Bi’s shot is accurate and she wets him clean across the chest. “You’re wet, Supreme!” she calls. “I’m wet” he answers. “I’m dry” she says. The rogues arrived a second too late and, concerned that the agents may still pose their leader a danger, all hell broke loose from their supersoakers. A massive waterfight ensued with not a dry seat in the house (least of all Supreme’s crotch area). “Hang on” exclaims Supreme. “I’m still in the lobby”. “No you’re not” says Agent Bi. They debate for a while, and Supreme suggests that they ask the only unbiased person in the vicinity to confirm the boundaries of the “lobby”. Of course, Agent Bi was right – the lobby ended at the steps. Supreme turns to his rogues and admits “I’m dead… where were you guys?”

The agents licked their lips – sweet, sweet victory. Agent Bi slapped Supreme on the ass, and Agent Aleph followed suit. All agents headed to room 402 and drank the night away, courtesy of Threadneedles’ hotel bar. Not that they know that.

There you have it, darling. The story of your very own death. Read it and weep.

With much love, as always,

Team Etanissassa-X

Comments (7)

Game Updates/Player Stories

The Death of the Supreme Commander

August 30, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 10:41 PM

You have no idea how much it hurts to relive the events of my death...and yet, the horrible events leading to my demise must be chronicled...

Thankfully, the winner of the tournament, aside from having excellent control of a water gun also has excellent control of language and has seen it in her heart to write up the story of my death so all you non-winners can see how it is supposed to be done.

Respect Abi...and some respect for your teammate Anita as well...you owe her big time...if not for her "distractions" y'all would be dead instead of me...

Thankfully I have an infinite number of lives...I'm too damn strong to kill permanently. So, enjoy this victory while it lasts...

And now, without further ado...the story of my death in London.

Dear lovers,

We’ve neglected our duties for a week. It’s time to set the record straight about how you met your watery demise. And spend some work time writing personal emails.

Thursday evening:

18:00hrs Agent Bi and Agent Aleph compose a bogus e-mail to the Gribster (hi!) pretending to be Supreme, entitled “Drier than a Nun’s Crotch”. It went a little (a lot, actually) (actually, this is the actual email) like this:

Aaah. now that was satisfying.

Anyway, back to my duties to you... not that you deserve it you lazy excuses for "assassins". I'd have been wetter waiting for you douchebags in the Sahara than I was on Russell Street. Hopefully you can prove me wrong this time...

Liverpool Street - EC2M - If you can't find me from this information you're not even worthy for the rogues.

Peep the website and I'll give you one more clue if no one makes an attempt by this evening, I will give even more info...I'm frankly getting a bit bored...

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

18:30hrs Agent Bi arrived at said Starbucks whilst Agent Aleph sent the email and awaited a reply (he didn’t reply). Bi found a cunning hiding place on an office balcony overlooking the Starbucks and she waited… and waited…

19:00hrs and waited…

20:00hrs and waited…

20:05hrs and gave up…

20:10hrs Agent Aleph checks details of all Starbucks in central London open late. She sends Agent Bi to Leicester Square and then the Trocadero. Leicester Square is the only Starbucks open late which has Wi-Fi access, so Bi positions herself behind a book and settles down for the evening.

21:30hrs Agent Aleph has pressed the refresh button on the Streetwars blog 1836 times in the past 3 hours. Supreme has still not posted a blog, despite his promise to do so “later”.

23:00hrs Agent Aleph is thrown out of work, where she has been waiting in case a blog is posted (she is a pauper and has no internet at home). Agent Bi is thrown out of Starbucks (she is a pauper and has only bought one drink in 3 hours). But that is not why she was thrown out, Starbucks closed.

23:30hrs The Agents met at Hotel Russell, as it was close to Supreme’s first blog of the day. They asked whether their “friend” Franz had checked into their hotel the previous night. He hadn’t. They checked some other hotels in the vicinity with no success. Slightly dejected, they headed for Agent Bi’s house. Aleph, the “sacrificial lamb”, went first, checking the coast was clear – the rogues would be less likely to be looking out for Aleph at Bi’s residence. Being satisfied that the coast was clear, Bi made a bolt for it while Aleph opened the door on the count of 10. TEAMWORK! YEAH!

00:30hrs As the agents were warming themselves up for bed, Aleph’s phone suddenly rang. Guess who? The conversation went something like this:

Aleph: Hello? (pretend sleep voice)

Supreme: Anita Marsden? (American accent)

Aleph: Yeah? (pretend sleep voice)

Supreme: Did I wake you?

Aleph: Er… no. Don’t worry I was just being fake asleep. (Chortle).

Supreme: I was just wondering what you guys were up to?

Aleph: We’re waiting for you to come round for your lapdance, Supreme.

Supreme: Really? (He thinks: Mmmm, Aleph and Bi are so hot, I am so tempted by their sexy offer). What time were you expecting me?

Aleph: As soon as you can – we’re at Agent Bi’s house, why don’t you pop over?

Supreme: Sure. I guess… Although that would be suicide. Why don’t you girls come round to my hotel?

Aleph: Erm… wouldn’t that be suicide for us? We’re going to have to have a think about this one. We’ll call you when we know what we’re doing.

Supreme: OK. Someone is going to die tonight…

The agents called the hotel to find out which room number the phone number belonged to. 402.

01:00hrs Aleph and Bi exit the flat and make their way to some SHITHOLE hotel “Threadneedles”.

01:40hrs As they approach the Hotel they see a couple of workers on a late shift. Agent Bi and Aleph persuade one of them to call the Supreme Commander pretending to be the Gribster, on his way to the hotel. The agents want to know whether there were going to be any unwelcome intruders on their lapdancing slash killing date with Supreme.

Supreme: Hello?

Worker man: Hi it’s Rob Gribbin. I’m on my way.

Supreme: (Sounding taken aback) Hi Rob, how are you doing?

Worker man: I’m OK. I’m on my way.

Supreme: You’re on your way? How did you find me?

Worker man: Er… I’m on my way. See you soon. (Hangs up)

01:45hrs Having ensured that at least the Gribster hadn’t been invited, the agents assume that their date is exclusive. Agent Aleph calls Supreme and arranges for the two agents to meet him in the lobby (predesignated a “safe zone”) at 02:30hrs. She claims it will take them that long to get there. Hehe, as if.

01:50hrs Agent Aleph enters the hotel lobby, walking closely behind a man delivering the morning papers. She headed for the kitchens to find somewhere to drop her bags and hide while she waited for Supreme. She heard footsteps approaching the area and stood up to see a couple hand in hand looking as if they were searching for somewhere to have a bit of late night “fun”. She greeted them politely, surprising them. They claimed to have got lost searching for the lift. They turned to leave and Aleph, thinking they might be able to help her, asked if they were staying in the hotel. They said they were and so Aleph asked which room they were in. “402”. Alarm bells rang in Alephs head. She calmly directed them back to the lift and walked off in the opposite direction. She descended to the depths of the hotel basement, a dark, tombraider-esque concrete arrangement of arcs and passageways.

01:55hrs Agent Bi enters the hotel and heads for reception. A couple appeared to be checking in. They walked off toward the lifts as Bi approached. The man on reception asked Agent Bi which room she was in. “402” she said. The couple turned their heads. Giveaway!! Agent Bi followed the “couple” and watched them take a lift. As soon as the door had shut she ran through the nearest door – to the kitchen. Working her way through some passageways she found her partner, despite having had no contact with her due to the lack of phone reception in the hotel. Great minds think alike.

02:20hrs The agents realise it is almost time to meet with their lover. On the basis of Aleph’s honed skills in flirtation, and cleavage, she heads up to the lobby to await Supreme. Agent Bi agrees to explore and hide in the underbelly of the hotel and show no mercy to any who invade her territory.

02:45hrs Agent Aleph has been waiting for 20 minutes and Supreme has not showed up. She is pissed off. She calls him. A man answers the phone in a fake American accent and tells her he’ll call her back. He didn’t.

02:55hrs Agent Aleph calls again. Supreme answers the phone. “You’re late” says Aleph. Supreme was really apologetic, saying he had just gone down and couldn’t find her. It transpired that, terrified that the Gribster was hot on his toes, he had begun having paranoid delusions and when he saw Aleph, he thought he saw a blond man on a laptop.

03:00hrs Supreme joins Aleph on the couch. They flirt, they chat, they bond. He asks where Agent Bi is. Aleph tells him she has just checked into their room and is preparing it for their night of passion. Supreme is visibly turned on. Aleph sees Alex Blue run across the landing. She asks Supreme if he has invited any of the other players to the hotel, saying she had just seen someone with blue hair. Supreme curses the lack of subtlety of his rogues and asks Aleph if they had informed the Gribster of his location as he had received a phonecall from him. Aleph makes a mental note (fooled! Aha haha). She tells him the truth but he was too paranoid to listen.

03:30hrs Agent Bi has been doing a thorough check of all “backstage” areas of the hotel. It’s clear. Every so often she hears footsteps but she sees no one. She works out that there is only one unlocked entrance to the whole staff only area. She heads for it and finds a hiding place where she would be able to shoot anyone coming through the door before they would be able to get her.

03:35hrs Agent Aleph asks Supreme how he proposes that this stalemate ends. He asks Aleph to make a suggestion. She proposes a new rule: as long as they are together, they are safe from each other anywhere in the hotel. Supreme says “I do like to live dangerously”. Aleph says “I’m in more danger than you because I’m in danger from all of your rogues and you’re only in danger of Agent Bi”. Supreme is convinced. They “take a walk”. As they begin to exit the lobby area Agent Aleph sees some very small shoes at the bottom of a lift. She shoots them. A little moan escapes the fallen rogue, Evil Midget. Realising she was in imminent danger as the rogues were closing in, she walks to the door to the staff only area and flings it open. Bi is ready and as soon as the door opens she sprays her deadly poison. As Aleph opened the door, she is first to take the fire but Supreme’s attempt to throw himself out of the line of fire fails, Agent Bi’s shot is accurate and she wets him clean across the chest. “You’re wet, Supreme!” she calls. “I’m wet” he answers. “I’m dry” she says. The rogues arrived a second too late and, concerned that the agents may still pose their leader a danger, all hell broke loose from their supersoakers. A massive waterfight ensued with not a dry seat in the house (least of all Supreme’s crotch area). “Hang on” exclaims Supreme. “I’m still in the lobby”. “No you’re not” says Agent Bi. They debate for a while, and Supreme suggests that they ask the only unbiased person in the vicinity to confirm the boundaries of the “lobby”. Of course, Agent Bi was right – the lobby ended at the steps. Supreme turns to his rogues and admits “I’m dead… where were you guys?”

The agents licked their lips – sweet, sweet victory. Agent Bi slapped Supreme on the ass, and Agent Aleph followed suit. All agents headed to room 402 and drank the night away, courtesy of Threadneedles’ hotel bar. Not that they know that.

There you have it, darling. The story of your very own death. Read it and weep.

With much love, as always,

Team Etanissassa-X

Comments (4)

Game Updates/Player Stories

No Skills

August 17, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 11:23 AM

I have to thank all of you that came to Heathrow to greet me...I saw at least one of you around...and you definately saw me, although you may have not realized it...

Did you know that they do not let you take water guns on a plane? Not even in your carry-on luggage?!

I knew this.

So, knowing that I would arrive unarmed and would have to leave the airport without weapons, did you think I might be wearing a disguise?

It made me snicker seeing you eyeing passengers intently and fidgeting with your weapons...is it possible for you children to be more obvious? You're a bunch of rank amateurs, barely worthy of the title "assassin".

Well, bad/good/bad news for you tools is that now that I'm armed and dangerouser, I likely won't be rocking a disguise...unless I'm hunting you.

Yeah...I'm a bit bored and frankly disgusted by your lack of subtlety, so I think I might go hunting some of you this evening...though strip clubs are also an enticing prospect for the evening...hmmm...perhaps a tour of strip clubs...we'll see how I feel later - killy or horny...I expect horny.

Also, I'll let you know this...I'm not going to be using the internet connection at my hotel. I will be going to internet cafes to make postings. Like now for example I'm in a Starbucks at:

Covent Garden WC2 - Russell Street
10 Russell Street
London WC2B 5HZ

I'll be in the hood for another 45 minutes or so...then off to see my Agent.

Hahahahha...

All my postings will come from Starbucks. I hate their fucking coffee, it is an affront to real coffee everywhere, is over priced and tastes like burnt shit...but they do have comfortable seats and decent WiFi connections...

[not that *I* would know what burnt shit tastes like but, that is what my food taster told me when I made him compare the two]

I'll give you some more information about my movements, some players stories and more information about last night's slaughter a bit later...from another Starbucks.

Peas!

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

Comments (49)

Game Updates/Player Stories

The Honey Trap

August 10, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 2:10 AM

"Blood on the Streets"

That, my friends, is the aftermath of the Honey Trap...an honorable assassin fell there, in perhaps one of the most devious and damp wettings in the history of this tournament.

I'll give you the short version of the story:

*Assassin talks smack about the Shadow Government
*Rogue Assassin hears about it
*A sweet, mouthwateringly delicious revenge is extracted by the Rogues Assassins
*Karma: Wetted Assassin gets wetted Again

The deliciousness, however is in the details...and I'll let the Rogue Assassins themselves tell you all about it.

Respect, Rogue Assassins.

Respect.

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

THE HONEY TRAP (or How we silenced the SILENCE)

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.

After 4 days of plotting, last night the 8 Rogue agents took down SILENCE in the streets of Covent Garden. His first mistake was to trust the people he had gunned down, and attempt to bypass the SC/MC/SG, by asking them for information on his new target. Little did he know that they had now turned rogue and were out to seek vengeance for their untimely death.

Luring him into a false sense of security, Lady CB had several telephone conversations with SILENCE where she expressed a great disappointment in the game and the fact that since ‘dying’ has had no contact with anyone from the SG. She offered to give him some information on his target (as they had gathered a heluva lot of intel) and in return SILENCE offered to by the good ladies a drink to apologise for taking them out of the game and to make up for the neglect they have been feeling.

2 days ago, the meet was arranged for Tuesday evening where information would be swapped for several bottles of wine – in a bar near to his targets workplace. The might of the Rogues was summoned – as many as possible were called to take the SILENCE out.

Texts were then swapped between Lady CB and SILENCE confirming the meet.

Lady CB “See you at 7pm”

SILENCE “Cool – looking forward to it”

SILENCE then feeling a little paranoid then changed the venue at the last minute to a bar in Covent Garden. Perfect – Lady CB knew this bar well and knew there was only one entrance/exit. Rogues were informed and instructions for the evening were sent out.

Timeline as follows:

6.50pm – Agents arrive (unarmed) to find SILENCE at the bar – joke about not having weapons on them!

6.55pm – A friend of Agents deposits their weapons in the ladies toilet

7pm – Friend of SILENCE comes into the bar (he originally was going to hide and look out for assassins but was persuaded by the ladies to join them for a drink)

7pm – 5 rogue agents get into position both inside and outside of bar – some have girlfriends with them as cover

7.05pm – Drinks ordered, high visibility table taken

7.15pm – CB receives a text from Guttenberg “Target locked, we’re ready to pounce”

7.30pm – SILENCE’s girlfriend turns up

7.45pm – Rogue Agent EP turns up and joins the SILENCE table

7.15pm/9.30pm – Many many drinks consumed, jokes exchanged about game, false intel given – CB still expresses much disappointment in the whole thing

9.30pm – SILENCE’s girlfriend goes to ladies toilets and discovers stash of weapons…

9.31pm – Confronts CB and others about weapon stash in Ladies toilet

9.32pm - CB and others laugh off the fact they might be rogues – they were just bringing them home from work and put them there to ensure he didn’t get paranoid about them. Surprisingly SILENCE believes them and laughs about it!!!!!

9.35pm – Lady CB gets another round of drinks to ease the tension

9.45pm – EM leaves saying she needs to go home to do domestic duties

9.45pm/10.40pm – Many many drinks consumed, more false intel given. 5 Agents still in position, EM has now joined them.

10.45pm – SILENCE makes noises about leaving, Lady CB suggests that they give him 10mins grace just to ease his paranoia. Lady CB sends text to waiting agents.

10.50pm – SILENCE leaves bar

10.51pm - 5 Rogues surround him from all sides, the wetting commences

10.53pm - Lady CB/EP come outside – Lady CB takes great delight in shooting his crotch area ( …Girlfriend laughs )

10.55pm – ID card handed over to G

11pm - SILENCE

This all goes to show – never trust anyone in this game. You never know which side they are on.

“Silence is the virtue of fools”
Francis Bacon

*********************************************************************

32pm - CB and others laugh off the fact they might be rogues – they were just bringing them home from work and put them there to ensure he didn’t get paranoid about them. Surprisingly SILENCE believes them and laughs about it!!!!!

9.45pm – EM leaves saying she needs to go home to do domestic duties

Not quite.

EM was certain we’ve been rumbled by girlfriend which we hadn’t counted on being there!

Smart of Silence to bring her along, but not clever enough for the resourceful Rogues.

EM sees girlfriend using the phone loads, so suspects she may be calling for back-up, or fourth spy to scan for rogues. EM also sees Silence’s friend looking at Agents outside by the window suspecting them.

To warn the other rogues outside, EM manages to send text messages whilst ordering drinks and ’loo breaks’.

After second bottle of wine, EM knows that Silence is already on alert.

I decide to excuse myself that I was tired and needed to go home, to the surprise of all, including fellow agents CB and EP. As if.

Twas a mere ploy for Silence to think that I’d given up on wetting him by making him feel confident and smug about the fact he discovered we were Rogues early on. Even left my guns with CB/EP so he thought there was no way I’d attack as I was unarmed. He had no idea it was crawling with agents.

A fool to have chosen a bar with one exit/entrance. Both Silence and girlfriend believed the midget decoy, and were not therefore expecting male agents within the vicinity.

Amazing effort from all Rogues!

CB/EP for keeping the lies and wine flowing.

5 Agents for totally owning the street with their positions.

As for weapons stash ala Godfather style. Predictable yes, but skills towards damage control were utilised well I thought.

*********************************************************************

Supreme. Mustache.

The kill story of Silence’s second death:

“How to kill the undead”

Despite giving him a 45 minute chase and a surprise death street party, with bunting, the former Agent who refers to himself as “SILENCE” seemed reluctant to die, even declining the tempting, albeit slightly loaded, invitation to a follow-up “Death Dinner Party”. How wrong we were! How fickle his fate and whims! In the past 24 hours he has died not only once, but twice!

The first killing is someone else’s (in fact, about 9 other people’s) story to tell, but here’s how SILENCE fell victim to the death hands of Etanissassa-x:

Monday night, 19.00hrs. The Agents paid a visit to “good old Ronnie” to give her the gift they had prepared as a thank you for lending them her housemate’s bedroom the previous night. And to collect their water bomb stash. Hoping for another stake out from her window, but quickly feeling ever so slightly unwelcome, they bade a swift farewell and resumed observation through the window of the block entrance downstairs. It was not long before someone (with more hair than Silence) made his way down to Silence’s abode. Upon this sighting, Agent Bi wandered across the road, casual as you like, to observe his movements. Suddenly, almost as soon as he had entered, he unexpectedly emerged from the front door, straight into Agent Bi. If Agent Bi hadn’t been so convincing as an innocent resident of Betterton Street, he would certainly have suspected peculiar goings on. She retreated to her “residence” and continued to observe the stranger. It became clear from his movements, to and from a car with much luggage, that he was moving in. How perfect! Aleph made the next journey – imagine the luck she would have if he was leaving the door open for ease of moving. Yes! He had! She began to make her way subtly down the steps to the entrance but new housemate turned and began his way back. Seeing the danger, Aleph quickly retreated. Agent Bi made a plan. The next time he left the flat, she would run, run like the wind straight through the gate, down the steps and throw herself under Silence’s bed, awaiting his unsuspecting return. Alas, housemate had clocked Agent Aleph, wised up to the untoward happenings and secured not only the door but also the gate. Bugger.

Our work began for real on a fresh Tuesday evening, when Agent Bi was whiling away her time on a washing machine in a conveniently located Laundrette. (Aleph being busy defending the wet patch in her patient’s car). After about 2 hours of “entertainment” she noticed the behaired housemate returning to his lair. A plan had to be formulated, and fast. She made radio contact with Aleph and was persuaded to see if she couldn’t invite herself in for a little heart to heart with the housemate. She did, and she did. Well done Bi. Here’s how it went:

Agent Bi: Ring ring (doorbell)

Ross: Doesn’t answer

Agent Bi: Pump pump (heart). Ring ring (doorbell)

Ross: Oh, sorry, I wondered what that sound was!

Agent Bi: Chortle chortle, have you only just moved in or something?

Ross: Yes, just yesterday.

Agent Bi: (mental note, yippee!) Oh, does that mean the room has gone (does good impression of disappointed face)

Ross: Actually I think there’s still another one going. You can ask the Landlady, I’ve got her number if you want it.

Agent Bi: (mental note, NO WAY!! Landlady is uber-suspicious and has caught me numerous times) Don’t worry, I’ve already got her number. Do you mind if I have a quick look at the room?

Ross: Erm, uh, OK, I guess.

Agent Bi: Cool, thanks.

Ross lets Agent Bi in. She checks out Silence’s house. He he, it feels so naughty!

Agent Bi: Wow, it’s really nice. £500 a month isn’t it, or is it less for this room?

Ross: I think so, I’m not sure.

Agent Bi: So what are the housemates like? Are they nice?

Ross: They weren’t in last night, I haven’t even met them yet!

Agent Bi: (mental note, Oh really? How convenient!) Hmm. Actually I know one of them, he’s called John.

Ross: Oh right.

Agent Bi: We’re kind of playing a water pistol game against each other at the moment. Have you heard of Streetwars?

Ross: No.

Agent Bi: Oh, well, he shot me in the back of the head the other night – isn’t that mean? I need to get him back. Then, in a dejected voice: But, I guess there’s not much you can do because you don’t even know John!

Ross: (Feeling sorry for the poor, slighted agent) Well I suppose I could take your number, then I could text you when he gets in.

Agent Bi: Hey! That’s such a great idea! You’re so clever! (flatter, flatter).

Agent Bi picks up some pictures of Silence that were lying in his flat next to a water balloon, both of which had been posted through the letter box by some agent or other. Oh the laughs they must have had!

Agent Bi: Here’s what he looks like. This is so great, I can’t wait.

Ross: Can I text you any time?

Agent Bi: Any time at all (mental note, this is sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!). Well, anyway, thank you so much, you’re a star.

Agent Bi lingers a little before leaving, in case Ross was going to invite her to wait under Silence’s bed until he came home. He didn’t.

Wednesday

01:15hrs: Ross texts Agent Bi “He’s here”

06:45hrs: The agents get up and head to Silence’s pad. They hide, Aleph in the alleyway parallel to Silence’s street, giving access to both road exits, Bi at one end of his street on lookout.

08:00hrs: Agent Bi is bored, so texts Ross asking if he fancied breakfast in bed. Unfortunately he was “just leaving”.

08:20hrs: Agent Bi “bumps into” Ross. He informs her that Silence has just got out of the shower. Thump thump.

08:25hrs: Agent Bi has been hiding behind a flower van for 10 minutes. She sparks up conversation with the flower van drivers. It goes something like this:

Agent Bi: Hi. Are you a bit wierded out by the fact that I’m hiding behind your van?

Van man: A bit. What are you doing?

Agent Bi: Waiting for a friend. Sort of. Actually I’m trying to kill him.

Van man: Er….

Agent Bi: Don’t worry, it’s just a game. Do you want to see my gun? She shows him her gun.

Van man: Oh! Ha ha!

There follows an interesting and deep conversation in which Agent Bi endears herself to the Van man. Because she is super clever, other parts of her brain have meanwhile been hatching a plan.

Agent Bi: Hey I’ve just hatched a really good plan. Here’s what we’ll do. When the girlfriend comes out to check the coast is clear, I’ll hop into the van, as if I’ve just been to the shop quickly to buy a packet of crisps. Then, you’ll start the engine and as soon as our target emerges we’ll drive up the street towards him. It’s foolproof! And, what’s more, you get to take part in a drive-by shooting!

Van man: Right. Huh.

Van men aren’t quite sure if Agent Bi is being serious. They don’t even strictly agree to her plan.

08:35hrs: Girlfriend AND target emerge. Agent Bi radios Agent Aleph and delivers the code “THE WAY!!!” Bi jumps into the van, despite the lack of definite consent by Van man. “Go, go, go!” Luckily, the urging nature of her voice jolts them into action and they speed off after the couple. “SLOWER!” Bi orders, trying to take aim. As they approach Silence from behind, he doesn’t even flinch. Bi fires a massive continuous round, machine-gun style, to the head and back of the target. Almost wetting herself with joy and the smell of victory, Bi leaps from the van and meets Silence face to face. “Very good”, he said. Something seemed wrong. He didn’t look like the others did when we killed them. “I’ve got bad news… I’m already dead”. “What??” The agents felt bemused and robbed. Such effort and planning and all for nothing. He didn’t even have a card to give them – “The rogues took it”.

So that, as they say, is that.

Anyway, at least we can say goodbye to [REDACTED] Street. Although, we’ll miss the laundrette ;-)

Love, as always, from the bottom of our hearts,

Aleph and Bi.

*********************************************************************

[END]

Comments (21)

Game Updates/Player Stories

The Quick and the Dead

August 9, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 9:59 PM

It has been done.

It may interest you kids to know that I just finished going over the Master Wettings List. All the wannabe assassins that signed up and went 2 whole weeks without making the required kills, the punks that couldn't get #2 and those not cunning, lucky and tenacious enough are all gone...but a few of you remain.

How many you ask?

Far be it from me to keep you from this information.

We are now down to but 15 playing units left dry...and a few of those might be removed in the next 24 hours...

The kill leader is Agent Sharky, with 6 kills..though he has someone right on his ass, Agent Fear Factor Five, with 5 kills. London has some damn deadly assassins...

We are quickly heading to the end of the third week and barring some deluge of Akkadian proportions, it certainly does not seem that there will be a Last Person Standing when Monday rolls around.

...and so, we will have to go into a single week of Sudden Death to determine a winner.

The rules change drastically during that time. Things that concern you now will no longer concern you. Targets will change...and someone will end up getting wet.

Your little minds are probably full of questions about Sudden Death. Your thirst for more information will not be slaked by this posting. The details of Sudden Death will not be posted until Tuesday.

I am sure that those of you that survive that long will not be disappointed by the new task given you come Tuesday.

There were recently some behind the sceme machinations that I was not yet at liberty to reveal. The time for their unveiling is nearly here. There will be another posting shortly...

So...until I give you the candy I know yer gonna love in the next post, amuse yourselves with some player stories.

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

***********************************************************************

02/08 – Woke up rather later than usual, having been recovering from my pervious kill. Got an Email from Supreme Commander, I was commended to be filmed by a bunch of French TV crew! I was reduced to dry tears. With my new improved pistols, I got out of my door and I walked cautiously toward the tube. Suddenly I saw a beam of water coming at me from the traffic. My assassin was shooting at me on the busiest road in the area, while driving! I reminded him the rule about moving vehicle, and he rushed off as the police was also hassling him. I shot his back window as I waved him good bye.

Then I was on full alert mode when I made my way to the office from station, little did I know my assassin drove in fifth gear, parked his car in the town centre and ran to my office to wait for me. He shot me again just outside my work, just as he thought I spotted him, I was too impressed with his commitment and gave him my ID. But three blinks later I was screaming for my card back as we were 10 metres away from my office door. Fail. I made sure he understand that there is no third time lucky in my book.

I finished work at 6pm, called a taxi to replace the 2 minutes walk to the station. It worked and my mind was free. Sweet.

My new target is based in Newington, so I spent the next hour on the tube studying the map and the surrounding area. But all that was not needed when I arrive at an Internet café to take another look at the target. I found out that I can actually rent a room in the same building as my man, as he lives in a students block and there are many rooms available. I made a call to the reception and request for a viewing at 9pm. The lady was ever so kind to agree, she showed me a room which would be exactly the same as my target but in a different block. She confirmed there is only one exit and everyone needs a pass to enter, as I told her I have a friend in block D, she suggested that it would not be a matter to be placed there.

I am in heaven, I will be living with my target, possibly sharing a kitchen, as well as escaping from my assassin, for at least a night, even it is costing me 20 quids. Booked a room for Monday 07/08, just need to lay low now for the next few days….

03/08 – Had no plan to kill or to be killed. The only thing I needed to kill was time, went to watch superman in my running outfit. The ending was appalling. I found the number of my next target’s pervious assassin. I had an idea.

04/08 – Had to work at 9AM, I figure the only way to avoid my assassin at my front door is to sprint to another side of the road, which I did. As I was skating to one of three tube station I have been using in rotation, my assassin called, I admitted that I was heading to a tube station to go to work. He lied to me that he was at his office.

Got to Wimbledon and decided to jump on a taxi, as I did the pervious two days. My assassin was two blocks away from my work and called me as soon as he noticed a hooded man was in a taxi. It was me. And I didn’t too fancy water splash for breakfast.
Found out that I won’t be staying in my target’s block, no big deal, because I have tracked down his pervious assassin, she was very happy to disclose her findings so far. I will be meeting her mate inside the block tomorrow for a day of surveillance mission, with the French TV crew.

Up until this point I have not lied to my assassin once, I gave him all my working hours and location I will be in. He was now 100% with me. It was time to use this advantage, I had to go home this evening so I lied to my assassin for the first time that I will be spending a night at a friends’ in Golders Green, he took it all in and I had a clear passage home. I started packing.

Spoke to various people involving with my next kill and developed a plan, I also was keeping in touch with the TV crew from France, and an appointment was made for a meeting at King Cross station at 2pm the next day. I told them I would bring a surprise packet, which would be my assassin, I want us both to be filmed. I called my assassin and told him about the meeting, gave him my new address which I would move to on Sunday, and got an out of jail card from Supreme Commander for the move. Only did my assassin know that I won’t be staying there for the next two days…. I hope he will be tracking me.

I hoped my assassin will be at King’s Cross at 2pm, so that I can leave my house freely, otherwise it would be another taxi job. I have noted down all the cars on the street, prepared for a morning check up for suspicious vehicles.
05/08 - The day has came, French TV crew arrived without wettness at 10:30 am, I am just so glad I am one of the chosen one. I looked out the window to see if the cars outside were in different shape or form. Nope. I got my gear ready as I wasnt prepare to come home, as I have a 8.5 hours gap to move house the day after, I am going hunting....

I sprinted across the road as I did the day before, jumped on my skateboard and roll down to the tube. A woman was taking cover when I was about 20 yeads away, seeing my enormous supersoaker pumping away.... Can't blame her. Got to the station safe and arrived at King's Cross, where me, TV crew and my assassin agreed to meet. The TV crew had no idea I was going to bring my own assassin into the equation, but the interviewer quickly sussed it out. We headed toward a pub inside the station for an interview but was turned down by the bar manager. We then came up with the idea that if both of us give up our guns to the crew, and do the filming outside at a bus stop, it would not be a truce.

We made comments about each other, showed off our kills, but so far we have not made great TV materials... So I decided to turn on the style on my hacky sack, but as soon as the camera turned my way my legs just gave in. Oh well. My assassin departed and I gave him clues of where I was going to be next. Me and the crew then went back inside, as they were craving for some BK burgers.

We finally got on a taxi and was heading toward my target's place. I had had a contact behind the heavily guarded gate, but he texted me to claim that he was away to fix his final thesis. Oh well, we sat in the park for a while, but the crew had to go as they have an appointment in central London later. I layed flat in the park outside my target's fortress, fell straight asleep after 4 days of constant cat and mouse. I was awaken by my assassin's call in a urgent tone, he couldnt find me anywhere in the postcode I provided, well of course, I didn't even know the real post code. Nevermind, he said to me that he had a check in with the Supreme Goverment later that evening, I wished him good luck. But I knew his time was numbered.

I got bored in the park dancing with bitey insects, I was determinded to barge into the building, which was actually a "hello hows it going" away, I made up some bullshit about filming a music video, perparing for the film crew return. I sat myself in the reception, the only exit of the complex, with my supersoaker hidden behind the wall. I fell asleep again on the couch after a mustard tomato chicken sandwich....

Four hours gone by but no target, I have be-friended with the sercuity guard and earn my access into the complex, I found my target's block (D), and begun my questioning among the neighbours.... They all said my target was very edgy at the beginning, but had not seen him for a few days... I took it as he was out hunting all the time.... As I return to the reception, I asked if my target still lives there, he rang his room and a lady answered... Oh shit. Who would that be?

While I was making calls for further assisstance from the former assassin, a lady appoarched me and asked if I was looking for LW (My target). My instinct was to say no, but then she forced the serucity out of his room and confronted me. Busted. She told me that my target has fled the town for a job interview, and not playing the game anymore. I called my target for confirmation "Yes I am gone"

Well Fucking good luck with your job!! You just wasted my 40 quids tracking you down, booking a room, showing the TV crew... I could have made you fucking famous!! And you choose to stay home for a pissy job!!!?! Only joking mate, I do wish you good luck with your career, I am not really mad at you, beside I can use that room for hiding from my new assassin, who I believe is rather good.

I would like to use this space to thanks Celia and the crew for fitting my giant head in the screen.

Munkiboy.

*********************************************************************

hello i am just righting to inform you that this evening, i finshed my tour in the game. i leave this mixed emotion my assins was very
fortunate. i was returing for a day a way in the courty side, where a
combinationg of little slip lots of work, and a mind number anount of
alkoholl ,i returned home laded with bags amd desidely wers for were,
as i walked up the stair approching my house, i herd screeming, it
seems my assasin and her acumplice, had trunded ther guns on each
other, with fustration. arriving at the top of the stairs i was my
killers, isitting on the floor out side my houe.

pathetic i thought, i standing in plain vow and they have not even notised me, deep in there oun issuse. beeing tire and hung over, and in no mood for pissing about, a run foered firing, they returned fire and in the mass of water, it is impossible to say what happened. i started firing first but the magority of my shot where taken up the acumplice, being in from of my assais, an welding the larger wepon. my assain, rose up with glee nand triam, she had been waiting all day, happy yhthat she had finayl got her man. her convition ws absolut, and not being able to clear prove anything i felt that in a draw faver tips to the assasin. i give up my card with a hevie hart. but in truth it was for the best. there are othere thing i must turn my attention two.

i just wanted to say that it has been a britlant exspeerence, and cthank you for running it. i look forward to the next one. weal dun. see you soon

love bart

*********************************************************************

dear sirs,

further to agent dko's message informing you of our kill here is my account of it:

our target was a toughy. we were, for pretty much our whole second week, completely stumped. not a clue how to get him. we didn't count on a successful combination of the sneaky approach, the direct approach and his own momentary stupidity.

we staked his house out for a good 20 minutes first, fending off concerned neighbours and getting ourselves spotted by his housemate, dismissing numerous plans ranging from lying to barging in, before coming up with a fool-proof plan - i would climb over the fence into his back garden, be obvious, get caught and escorted from his house while dko sat outside waiting for the front door to open...

so, after much rethinking, persuading, weighing up the pro's and con's and potential for arrest, over the fence i went. i landed in a thistle plant. hearing dko run for all his worth to the front door i crept with a good degree of stealth towards the kitchen window.

i should point out that up till now we had only a good guess that our target was even in the house. we weren't certain. but being brave, unstoppable and perhaps kinda stupid with a deadline about 4 hours away, we had gone ahead with the plan. however, now that i was under the kitchen window i could hear a housemate distinctly say his name. bingo.

so on i crept to try and open the kitchen door into the house. it was
locked. and our target saw me. very clearly, very obviously. so far so planny. he cheerfully announced to his housemates "hey look at the guy in the garden with the watergun..." busted, i stood up and waved.

then, in an amazing display of suicidal confidence he walked boldly over to the open window to shut it. my only thought was 'screw the damn plan' and i equally boldly approached the open window and shot him through it until he stopped moving away...

VICTORY!! we had a nice chat and left him to his very amused housemates..

yours respectfully,

agent delazouche of team archangel

*********************************************************************

Arh.

Road was wet this morning, could not skate, spent all my money on silly things like blow and hookers, no taxi for me, had to walk to my office.

Sharkey got me 1.5 block away from my office... I could have ran, but I didn't. I could have walked the other side, I didn't. I could have......

Otherwise I hoped I have qualified to be part of your Supreme Bodyguards.....

Waiting for you to press the button.

Munkiboy.

*********************************************************************

Good afternoon.

This is Agent Scaramanga of the Men with the Golden Guns

Please accept my sincerest apologies for not sending through the story of the demise of Agent MK sooner.

Neither I nor my psychotic brother enjoy sitting in bins or hiding in bushes. Neither do we like wasting our energy on 1st-week targets or drawing attention to ourselves. Therefore we hatched a plan to coax our target out into the open and actually get him to meet us [REDACTED]. Like the finest assassinations throughout the ages our plan was cunning, devious, meticulously planned and intelligently simple (an as far as we could see we weren't breaking any rules...).

[REDACTED]

You'll see from the emails below that M became inextricably tangled in our web of deceit from the minute we hatched our plan. I was concerned that he'd have a whole day and a half to figure out the sting, but, lo and behold, our friend M was waiting patiently at the rendez-vous point, blissfully ignorant of the impending soaking.

My idiot brother was running late after a heavy night out (in retrospect who plans a kill early on a Sunday morning?) so I had to go in for the kill on my own. I spotted the target some 150yards away and [REDACTED] I calmly produced my trusty bringer of watery death and emptied the magazine into his bemused face.

Once our new friend M recovered from the shock of such a cunningly though-out hit we retired to the pub and had a few pints waiting for my retarded brother to turn up. He did, we had a few more drinks and then we retired to Clapham awaiting orders for our next target.

With the swagger in my step only a successful assassination brings I woke on Monday and started thinking about how our next target would meet his watery fate. However, my enthusiasm was cut short as the dizzy cows after us caught me off guard outside my flat. I was sure I'd soaked the 2 of them before they got near me but didn't have the energy to argue following our 1st kill celebrations the night before and reluctantly handed over my card.

Should you need our services over the coming weeks just let us know and we'll spring into action to serve our esteemed leaders. Otherwise we'll see you at the party...

Farewell and God's speed,

Agent Scaramanga

*********************************************************************

[END]

Comments (49)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Kogi Kaishakunin

August 8, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 2:59 AM

natsukusa ya
tsuwamono domo ga
yume no ato

Matsuo Basho

Summer grasses,
All that remains
Of soldiers’ dreams

As was CLEARLY stated when you first started the game, you *MUST* have a minimum of 2 kills to enter the third, and possibly final, week.

Well, at midnight tonight the second week of the tournament is complete and those of you that haven't done what you were supposed to do will be like *totally* pimp-slapped out of the game.

[some exceptions may be made...IF you actually put work into wetting your target...if you DO NOT get an email from me kicking you out of the tournament, consider yourself spared]

The ones that do get the email, you are poor excuses for assassins...seriously, it kinda makes me physically ill just thinking about you. I can feel the bile rise in the back of my throat with each letter I type writing about you and your non-exploits.

*spit*

Even that can't get the foul taste of your lack of skills out of my mouth...it's like a mixture of cheap booze and hooker-spit. Is it really so hard to find someone and wet them? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Entry into the world of professional assassins requires, at the minimmum, dedication, skill and a bit of luck...you must not have one of those things.

Go back to the comfort of your couch...find the nice impession of your ass and nestle in it once again, eat your Doritos and kick back and relax. Watch the action shows on TV and movies and rest easy knowing that if you were ever in that situation, you would fail, just as you did now.

Like your parents, I am disappointed in you.

Perhaps, next time you will be more agressive and dedicated.

Sigh.

Despite my repugnance at your lack of wetting, it pains me to see you go, as I would have liked all of you to have experienced the endgame...things are going to get more interesting frm here on in. Alas, it is not to be...this time...

To those of you that made it to the third week, I offer my heartfelt congratulations. No easy feat to last this long...many have fallen to the liquid justice doled out by their fellow competitors...and more will soon fall by the hand of my personal assassins.

...and so the end begins...

Kill stories follow.

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

*********************************************************************

Ah, the life of an assassin.

Best to kick it off with an early crisp start in the morning. A shag to shake off the wood, a stealth kill, then a quick swim in the pool. Then to the office with no one the wiser....

It was an early morning stalk and shoot. The house next door was under construction, and I had a good cover with people loitering around smoking cigarettes. JS went down like a man. A solid hand
shake, then off on his way.

Please send next target ASAP, as I would like to have time to set this one up before the weekend.

Agent Sharky

*********************************************************************

Commander,

It is with great pleasure to announce the departure of JD.

After attempting several unsuccessful tactics to lure her (which I will save for other targets), Julia was assassinated 12:30 on her front step.

The stake out was long and arduous in which I got soaked by rain, but at least I was somewhat comforted with a pack of beers I brought with me. I was just about to give up, so I walked out of the bushes I was hiding and started to walk home. At that same exact moment Julia was entering her front door. I got her in the back, and she ran inside screaming. So, to make sure I shot her again through the letter slot.

Unfortunately, she was not able to find her Id card, so this assassin
has no trophy to bask over.

Lesson learned, stop being a sissy and stick it out.

Agent Sharky

*********************************************************************

Commander,

I am so giddy with joy over this kill, I cannot control myself...

[REDACTED]

"we have a predicament don't we" I said.

It ended in quite an action packed segment. Fred phoned his mate in the car -"[REDACTED], he's getting his gun".
He was perched on one exit and I on the other, with the car pulling up close to the door. His friend was yelling GO, GO, GO NOW. He bolted, and managed to get in the car and drove off towards the tunneled exit. His 2nd friend was still in the pub and the passenger door was still open. The exit was under construction, and was too tight to drive straight through (you needed to inch it through, and wouldn't be able to fit with a door open). With the car stopped and no one able to shut the door. I wetted him in the back seat.

[REDACTED]

Agent sharky

*********************************************************************

Commander

The assassination of agent RB is complete.

He was finished whilst eating Spaghetti Bolognese and explaining all about StreetWars to a group of friends in his living room.

Guess he forgot to tell them about keeping your windows shut. The climb across 7 roofs to achieve this positioning was made even sweeter as this was the route he had used to flee from me the day before.

I must also take this opportunity to apologise to Agent RB for accidentally shooting his parrot whilst chasing him through his own house.

Next assignment please.

Fear Faktor Five

*********************************************************************

Esteemed Commander SILENCE here reporting the liquidation of the
aquatic avengers.

I took some time out of my busy training shedule to stalk and
decapitate the Aquatic Avengers. Credit where credit is due however
they proved cunning and highly skilled adversaries. They demonstrated
talents in discuise subterfuge and tactics. They evaded my attempts
for a full 72 hours. There only mistake was placing too little stock
in my skills. I overcame the security protecting their leader and
caught them as they arrived back after there own hunt. Even watching
them approach I was not 100% sure I had my marks their discuises were so convincing. Unfortunatly one of them I still can't tell which
bolted. Leaving her leader shit outta luck... a moment of hestitation
this was a respected adversary and a hot chick... then i shot her in
the chest... In the words of Tarintino "man'd have to be a mad dog ta
shoot a good looking girl like that in the head"

If you are looking for formidable agents with frightening network
skills, tenacity and most importantly style for future work these
three come highly recomended... to the aquatic avengers respect... but elctronic security, spie networks and guards can't stop the SILENCE.

Who would you have me Silence next Commander?

*********************************************************************

Supreme commander

Last night, about 9:00pm, Soaker Warriors attacked again. Skulking behind a courier insisting on a signature in person, when it was clear I wasn't falling for it they shot into the house right passed my position. Here Squirtalot went down, and then Panda Rescuer (or whatever his name is) from an upstairs window. This is the third time I've shot Squirtalot, and yet she keeps on coming, bless.
Just to let you know.

Methusalah

*********************************************************************

after three days of stake outs, late nights and erly morning, the lak
of sleep was takaing it's toll on mental disposition. being a grate
lover of sleep and allthings in bed, i was beggining to toy with the
idea of commiting assasin suwer side, which i would have kindly filmed and distubted. thankfully i have not yet been driven to foollow through with these thoughts and insted persivered. an erly start, tost with water cress and mutserrela cheese trying to keep helthy and fit. packed all my guns and left the house feeling safe. making a mistake in the metro saduku, i was feeling disgruntled, perhas this was a bad omen. staking out the hosue was good i had a fravour spot and was confident that they would not see me. i waited. unexspectadly, and girl with blond heir left the house. haveing whatched the working of the house for a few days, and knowing my target had black hair this suprise was a deadly give away. recouling behind a wall i sellected my wepon, half an hour early i would have used a small hand gun, to cold for the big fellas, but having wait for 45 min and making a mistake with the saduku i was angry, the target took longer than the 14 seconds that i had time from door to me. which only gave me time to compose my self and conferm thier identity. a few quic steps, poissed to take the shot, my target with cat like reflexis bradisged her wepon, but it was to late i had already unleashed the pressure built in the chamber and a volly of water slapt them across the face. the deed was dun, call off the hounds, please, and could i have a new target.

i killed ih

thank jg

*********************************************************************

[END]

Comments (33)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Wanted: Team KT one down and one to go

August 7, 2006 - Posted by Mustache Commander at 7:52 PM

It is with great pride that I announce the success of one Rogue Agent BillyS, who was able to provide Agent T-Bone of Team KT (of the Wanted: Wet or Alive poster) a refreshing reprive from the heat wave, via the cool watery stream of his water pistol.

Only the lovely Agent Persian Princess is still left suffering from the summer heat. Will someone kindly send some watery relief her way?

From: BillyS
To: Mustache Commander
Date: Aug 7, 2006 10:16 AM
Subject: Re: Insulting Heathens

Comments (34)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Silent Master

August 4, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 8:11 PM

Even shining stars fall...

This is a series of stories and coincidences that tie together three assassins...Stories from all players involved follow...

Enjoy.

Next blog posting I will let you know the remaining player count.

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

Snake Eyes killed the Bear
and
Killer2 kills Snake Eyes

*********************************************************************

i am writing this to inform you of my wetness!

i have been taken out after a moment of weakness as i
boarded the bus to work. i had let my guard slip.
after sleeping in my surveillance vehicle for the last
6 nights out side my targets house(and not seeing her
once!! i doubt she exists!) i was wary and looking for
love and sympathy i spent the night in my own bed in
the arms of my loved one. after waking late due to the
evening activities, that ran late in to the night, i
decided not to travel to work via my trusted
surveillance vehicle as we needed a day apart and a
little alone time. i checked upon coming out of the
house and found the street to be clear i then
proceeded to the bus stop round the corner and waited
for my bus. as the bus pulled up and i was about to
board out of the corner of my eye i spotted someone
running for the bus and dismissed it as just someone
running for a bus. how wrong i was with one foot about
to hit the safety of the public transport system i
felt the cold wet feeling that i has hoped to avoid
for at least another week. i could not believe it!! my
number was up!! i felt like my world was crashing down
on me as the wet ness sunk in and as the smile on my
assassin grew bigger. but my disappointment was to
turn to glee in a very short space of time.
after talking on the side of the road for a while
about the game and lengths we had been to get our
targets and after showing him round my stakeout
vehicle he offered me ride to work as i was now
running late and needed to open my store. on the ride
down we discussed taking a photo of the kill and had a
few ideas to to a make it look good as this was my
assassins 2nd kill. we decided on a chalk out like in
the street as i had white tape at my work. after a
hasty opening of my business and sorting out tape we
stood on the corner putting down a chalk out line. i
left them for just a minute as i went in to get the
work phone and upon my return i found the number of
people had doubled as i got closer the smile on my
assassins face had turned into a look that i knew so
well, he to was wet! his assassins had been following
him all morning up untill the time he had got me and
buy chance his assassins had spotted him on out side
my work. so the chalk out line that was was once a joy
for assassin was now to a place for in which he was to
Lay. justice had been done!
after many photos and hands shakes and stories of
stakeouts the second assassins left to send reports of
the kill and receive new targets. then my now dead
assassin and i parted ways with a shake of hands both
feeling gutted that we would not live to wet another
day. but as i turned a slight smile came over my face
knowing that today Kama smiled on me. even though im
out i feel justice has been done!

this is the bear, signing out

*********************************************************************

Snake eyes aka Dusty Bottoms aka Ben martinez scored another hit today killing Bear Martin but was then taken down in a disgracefully un artful way buy team 2 or unit 2 or something!!!!! Should u ever wish to reincarnate me for any reason i would be your willing servant also and would love any pay back opportunity, I have an incredilby flexible schedule at the moment so could be ready for action almost instantly at anytime, though i am greatly shamed!! Also new contact number should you need it as phone at the bottom of the canal after the friday night oops. 07813306115. bear Martin is dead the story below tells it all !!! feel free to print it if u see fit and use any pics u like though may i ask that i retain the honor of having the snakes head even in death perhaps. his name was Ben Martinez.... His name was Ben martinez ..... his name was Robert Paulson oops i mean....HIS NAME WAS BEN MARTINEZ. It has been an honor. Please print from below.

There are various levels of assassin. Some are good some are very good and some are so awesome that they get to be revered by all in the company of shadow warriors and sit closest to the greatest squirters of us all, the mustache and supreme commanders!!! But most aren't!!

I had always known that i was destined to be an assassin for our great leaders. Since i was a young boy i had always been fascinated by the beauty of the water pistol, the often neon luminescence of them, the texture of the pistol grip, the gorgeous bubbling noise of air squeezing out of the tank as its filled, as if to avoid the same watery death as the prey that will soon be victim of a severe dousing. But of course the air returns as the water is expelled until once more the gun is re-filled for action. Here we see that the great circle of life and death is just as present within the pistol as without!! You see there is a whole philosophy to the true art of the water gun just as in any true martial art, and just as the naturalness with which i find the gun resting in my palm is a testament to my natural ability; the naturalness with which i find the gun resting in my mind is testament to the hours of meditation and work put in to its mastering.

It is on this note that I will tell you of the events of this morning or should i spell it mourning! At the early hour of 6am my alarm went of in snake HQ. This morning would be the morning my next targets dispatch. As such my driver had been called the night before and had been given sanctuary for the night in my compound for the early start. Any great assassin is in actual fact an artist and as such i had many options for different covers for that day. Should i be the friendly jogger, the hardworking postman, or maybe the red tops choice... the fake shake. I pondered but decided that despite this foes mighty strength, my superior wit and trade craft would be enough, so jeans and T-shirt it was.

Private Lee random went to fetch the car and was instructed to mount some counter surveillance. Within minutes he was outside my door with the snake mobile and we set off, him driving in his characteristic evasive style to shake of any wannabe assassins. We hit Acton with lightening speed made a few evasive maneuvers as standard and got into our position to stake out the house. Stake outs where now second nature to us, we had it down to a fine art and had proven that if our target was there he was as good as wet. I left the snake mobile to position myself innocently round the corner and was in radio contact with the car. I stood around that shadowy corner for at least 20 mins before i got the call that our target was sighted. We had been slightly worried as he was clearly late for work and had considered calling in for him, after all a watery killer is not necessarily a bad person. But as he immerged from his street i walked innocently along the street in the same direction. He clearly was no idiot as he had changed his appearance from the shabby hobo look in his photo to that of a trim man bout town, but he had let the early hours of the morning get the better of him as he failed to even check his six as he turned out of his road. I crossed to run parallel with him, just to be extra sure, and also to laugh at the ease with which i could move around him. he stopped at the bus stop i crossed at the crossing went into a shop and changed tops and waited for his bus to come along. As soon as it did i ran out chasing the bus looking over my shoulder, fakely worried that it might beat me to the stop!! legs pounding like jack hammers, chest thrusting back and forth like the tides of the great oceans. A slight look of panic that work might tell me off for being late. Ladies and gentlemen the oscar was mine. He reached into his pocket for change as he stepped forward out of the shelter!.................. By the time he noticed my gun it was 2 inches from his wet stomach!!!!

That is art ladies and gentlemen!! Perfectly.. planned.. precision killing! FACT !! with the exception of our esteemed leaders there are only three men in the world capable of kills of such beauty and precision, and I'm one of them, and will probably kill the other two sooner or later anyway! But the Bear is a good man and generous in defeat. He showed us his super cool camper he had been living in until last night! the fool. I too was generous in victory and offered him a lift up the Uxbridge road to work where we then took the trophy photo for all you fellow assassins to see!
It was whilst preparing for the photo shoot as i knelt down to map out our victims body on the ground, i heard a desperate thumping of feet behind me! normally i would have reacted instantly but so far from home, so much driving!, so much time on the street already!. Then i heard the swishing noise. a jet of water soared passed my right side hitting the wall then tracking via my drivers shoulder to my back. Surely this was a joke!! Then in a nervous shaking voice the words "Got you" giggled out of my foes mouth. At which point his two less flighty teammates showed at his sides. The foul stench of smugness filled the air, if it had been a drinking game they would have paid heavy reparations for it. I slowly stood to face them and as they gazed at their mighty foe their awe was clear. What stood before them was a perfectly crafted squirting machine, the only one to have been granted a new name by the Mustache Commander himself! Snake eyes!!!!! They had been chasing me for over a week, squirted my flatmate's, been scared off by old men, watched me stare them in the face before driving away on many occasions laughing at their tactics, had completely missed by back entrance and use of bike, and been unable to beat my unusually high standard of counter surveillance. That very day due to my drivers human error they had escaped his notice outside my house, but as they followed us in their suburban family car they had been lost like farts in the wind by his high standard of evasive driving, and I imagine got lost again trying to get back to mine as in the time the took to get back up the road we had managed to kill, make friends, drive and create art. As they finally found their way down exactly the same road the had driven up in the first place (in an extreme state of demoralization) they happened upon us in the throws of trying to give a little something back to the avid readers of the site. Indeed they themselves had been big fans of my work. And so they took the opportunity of the one shot in over a week. But one shot no matter how poorly aimed, how badly executed, how artless is all you need.

Does this make them better assassins then me?!?! Snake Eyes?!!! No every Dog has its day.
Does this make them good Assassins, Artists, Or in any way note worthy?!! No if they put feathers up their asses they wouldn't be chickens, and neither are they true assassins just because they hold water guns! They are lucky, and hopefully have learned form their experience of chasing someone who actually was where he should be but just too good for them, a team of them, for over a week. But i am still dead and arrogance should never have gotten the better of me for there are people as willing detroy great art at any cost as them in order to make a name for themself. And so i say to u all remember the words of our great Leaders

"You are an Assassin, do your job with a bit of class and style"

For if you are a great artist, whether you live or not you will be remembered, our leaders are always watching and know a class act when they see it!

Snake Eyes signing off beeeeeepppppppppppppppppppppp.......................................................

*********************************************************************

Kill Story
A RISING STAR THAT BURNED TOO BRIGHT

5:03am – Somewhere, in a respectable, middle class part of town a cell phone rings silently. Miniature LEDs phase into action. A pulse of electricity. On the cell's display a name appears: "Big M".

5:33am – A silver car cruises to a stop at the end of a blind alley. The driver is a terrifying caricature of a man, his hulking form barely squeezing into the seat. Thick index finger tapping at the dashboard, the driver gazes out through the tinted windows, surveys the streets. "I wouldn't want to live in this shithole" he thinks.

Outside, a pair of crackheads shamble past. Hungry for a fix and bleary eyed, they don't see the haven of bourgeois cars parked in a private mews. Hearts beating to a different drum, incapable of thought, craving, they hear only a chemical buzz.

5:45am – In the reeking storm drain below the street gutter a feral rodent pricks up its ears. About one metre directly above its grime encrusted fur it hears the footsteps of a ghost. Unable to even hiss with fright, it dives into the open end of an overflow pipe and hides.

A silver car door opens quietly. The car sinks a little lower on its wheels as someone sits down and without any apparent motivation the rear door clicks shut behind the mysterious passenger.

"I wish you wouldn't fucking do that to me!" blurts out the street-punk in the passenger seat "I nearly blew you away."
"Please," whispers the Ghost, as he eyes the high-calibre pistol in the scrawny teenager's hand, "don't make me laugh!"
"Oh," says the behemoth in the driver's seat, "you're here – I uhh.. got you a coffee, but I wasn't sure how you take it." He reaches round, a styrofoam cup like a thimble in his hand.
"I don't," replies the newcomer "drugs… are for the weak of mind."
The punk-kid rolls his eyes. "Whatever man. What ever."

5:59am – A few minutes pass in total silence. The sun, rising, pushes its way through the smog. The assassins watch. Inside the car the atmosphere of fragile truce is finally broken by a question:

"So, the target then. Who is it this time?" asks the Ghost.
"Number twenty four," snaps the renegade as he lowers his eyes from the telescopic sight securely cable tied to the headrest, "…down the mews. He's pulled a few tricks, made a bit of a ruckus. Thinks he owns the street. They want him removed."

"They…?"

"Shadow Government. Nobody really knows who they are. The only guarantees are that they pay handsomely and their cheques never bounce," replies the surprisingly articulate driver, eyes gleaming from behind incongruously small wire rimmed spectacles.

6:28am – A cyclist, a fitness obsessive unaware of the crosshairs aligned with her cranium, rides off on her morning route to the office. She takes a peek into the silver minicab as she passes. Inside she glimpses only the driver asleep, head against the window, and thinks nothing of it.

Big M, as he is known, half opens an eye, watching the white lycra clad arse of the cyclist bob up and down as she disappears down the quiet road. It's been more than a few years since he was last in this line of work and he wonders to himself how he's managed to get involved again, after all it's not as if he's actually in 'the game'. "Coast clear" he mutters.

The ghost sits up, "what did the recce suggest?" He queries, examining a surveillance photo taken during the previous week.
"Not much," comes the street-punk's answer, "He thinks he's the best thing since arcades. Thinks he's better than us, better than the fucking Shadow Government. And calling him a slippery fuck's the understatement of the year."
"Please," murmurs the first assassin, "we'll teach him a lesson. Don't you worry, we'll show him his place in the world."

7:57am – At 12x magnification, through the tinted rear window the assassins first catch sight of their target. Half obscured by an over-nourished potted plant, the dark haired man emerges. He quickly checks the mews for any suspicious characters. Finding nothing out of the ordinary he throws himself into a black car parked outside number 26. The driver's already inside.

"Shit! He's not taking his own car" exclaims the punk-kid "it's a black golf license number… uhh"
"Fuck the license! 'Big M' start your engine. We're on the move!" orders Ghost.

"It'll be too obvious if I start it now, I'll start it after he's left." insists the huge man.

Their target's car speeds past them. Two massive fingers twist the key in the ignition. A spark. A rumble and then… the engine stalls.

"Fuck!" screams the street-punk. Seconds drag like hours. The key is turned again. The car starts. The big man manoeuvres the wheel like a toy in a toddler's hands and the saloon flies round a corner.

"There he is, Go, go, go," hisses Ghost coolly, "he must've spotted us."

Up ahead, the lights change and the black car races off, aggressively cutting through traffic and giving way to no one.

And thus an intense and high speed car-chase begins across the streets of the city. A car chase that would eventually spell the demise of Agent Dusty Bottoms.

9:00am - One whole hour later, the chase has reached the sticks, the very edge of the city. Sumplands. The kind of place where gangs of knife wielding schoolkids terrorise whole neighbourhoods and off-licenses pass you the liquor from within secure steel cages. The target and his driver, mostly through luck and an unfortunate incident with a refuse truck are no where to be found. Despondent the three assassins turn back and start to head for home.

But then a stroke of fortune. Pure luck, and a good bit of observation.

"Who the fuck's that?" the punk-kid shouts, "There look, a black Golf, two guys outside"
"Is that them? What's the license pl…" The driver starts to say, but before he can finish his sentence the renegade is already sprinting halfway down the road.

Sapphire-coloured pistol in hand. Rapid. He closes to point blank range. Fires.
Seconds later the Ghost confirms the kill. The target, eliminated, slumps against the wall in a pool of liquid. The gun in his hand, not a sign of self defence, but a planted token of respect for the passing of a worthy adversary.

There will be no news paper headlines for this murder. And no official enquiry will ever be launched. The Killer2 strike again.
Others who walk in the shadows would be wise to learn from the rising star that burned too bright.

Your Humble servant,
A. Blue
Killer2

Comments (42)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Moon Face Carving

August 2, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 7:34 PM

I was just about to carve my face into the moon with a laser and then I realized that I hadn't updated the blog - I actually care about you guys this much - and I decided to do the moon carving some other time so I could hit you guys off with a lil update and some stories.

Aren't I freakin' sweet?

By now, those of your that are left are probably feeling mentally exhausted, you're dropping your guard now and then...growing confident in certain areas, probably beginning to fall into a pattern on your way to and from work...

How do I know this?

I too was once an apprentice assassin...I went through the same training as you did. Granted, I did a much better job of it...but still...I was once where you are. My advice - keep sharp, never let your guard down...the second you think you are safe is the second you're gonna get taken out. The field is dwindling daily...

Now I get to try to talk that scientist dude that was gonna hook me up with that totally sweet moon portrait to start the project over again...all thanks to you...sigh...I hope yer happy.

Ah, yes...there's a few of them player stories too...enjoy.

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

RB killed MF (battersea dogs)
RG killed NL
SM killed KB
Methusalah killed PM, Ginja Ninja
ME Killed jC
Munkiboy killed JW
Etanissassa-x killed JM

The details of the below assassination will be given their own blog entry they rock so hard. If I were to put them with other stories, the awesomeness might break your computers.

*********************************************************************

You may have heard we made our 2nd kill last night. We already have our new target. Just wanted to inform you that last nights kill was possibly one of the best things I have ever done – it is up there with white water rafting down the Nile and Skiing down a mountain after only 3 hours, total, of experience. So you don’t feel let down I thought I would inform you that we will be filing our kill report later this afternoon. It will take a while to compile the facts, especially on this hangover.

*********************************************************************

Reporting my second kill and the story behind it all....

Agent JW was gunned down at 12:45 01/08/06 by Munkiboy.

28th July - After getting my new target the night before, I decided to scout his flat for a while, the little while turned 6 hours. I got pissed off, shot some water into his flat through the mailbox, and we exchanged fire at the door. No one got hurt, he didn’t see me. Mission over.

29th July - Morning, got out at 6:30, had to go to the depot to pick up my new weapon. Went to work and then straight down to my target's flat, which is situated in a ex-council estate, and it is at the end of the hall way, with only one way out. Even then I thought it was too risky to hide outside his flat, so I followed some junkies’ footpath and sat on the stairs in the building adjacent to my target's. There were two views available on each floor, one would give me from his door to the stairs, and the other would be
from the stairs (1) to the ground floor. There is a second stairs (Lets call it Stairs 2) but you would need to walk pass #1 first. So I gambled that he is inside and picked the first view with the vision of his flat door narrowed through the fence on the first floor. I hope I would have enough time to catch him before he wheel off on the bike. I had my hacky sack with me so I was inventing tricks as I wait, smiling to everyone walked by. A man in his 30s was doing up a flat on the second floor. After the fifth time he walked passed, the urge to claim that ex-girlfriend doesn’t live at the flat my eyes were fixed on had me. We had a good talk and he invited me in to the
flat. Bingo.

I had the best view for my target floor, now with the benefit of a stool. Turned out we had a few things in common and he was as eager for me to shoot my target as my newly arrived Super Soaker (XP310). The moment came when my target scout around the floor with one hand on his bike, trying to compute every dark shadow in sight.

I picked up my big gun and rushed downstairs, ran into the car park and was spotted right away by my target. No joy. The carpenter confirmed that my target has retreated into his flat.

6 hours wasted.

I got home 45 mins later, called my target and gave him the permission to leave. Which I found out today that he didn’t take it. So he was in the flat for both Friday and Saturday nights.... Thanks to me.

30th July - Woke up slightly late at 11am with a text from my new assassin, I AM ON THE INDEPENDENT ON SUNDAY! Oh what joy!!! But knowing my target would do worse had me in a relax state, as relax as I can be, I was waving my supersoaker at every corner on my way to Tesco. Jeers and laughter were dished out but I could care less. I picked up the paper and some materials to increase my fire power.

Got to my new found friend in the other block, I borrowed his tools and glue for the Super Soaker modification ceremony. While keeping my eyes on the movement of target's floor, I was fitting balloons into my guns so it will become a CPS. (Google it if you don’t know what it is) Nothing happened until 4pm when my target came out and had a quick peep. Too quick for me to make a move, beside my gun wasn’t ready...

Came 8pm I had to meet my friend who is leaving to India, and I might never see her again, I think she is slightly more attractive than the piss rotten hall way. So I went.

31st July - After flashing the newspaper at the office to show them I am not a psycho. I marched on to my target's flat once again. Arrived at 8:45, found his Moroccan neighbor, who lives at the end of my target's hallway, was locked out of her flat for more than 4 hours, having said to me that 'You freaked me out', I spent the time to teach her how to kill with water pistols. She told me that my target had a scout around the floor on at around 7pm. So I assumed he was inside....

My first move was to get close to the flat and see if there was any activity going on. I saw no bike through the key hole, and immediately I knew this was the night for the kill. My target is out hunting!!! Dodgy Moroccan!!! I spent 1 further hour sitting against his door, with my weapon squarely pointing at the door, listening to some vocal hardcore, which got pretty dull after 5 minutes.

As I was wearing running shorts and t-shirt for maximum movement, I was getting pretty cold in the breezy night... I then found a spot between stair 1 and 2 and decided to stay there until 1am. Meanwhile two Portuguese girls (Aged 17 and 19) came out and enquire about my guns. Not very often does this happen, so I once again used this opportunity to tell tales of my last hit. They in exchange showed me their pictures at a celebrity’s party from few weeks back. I must say at their age, they have every right to wear what they were wearing. I tried very hard to fix my eyes to level theirs, after many fail attempts I decided to focus on my kill again. But the chat with
two ladies was maintained, I assure the 17 years old that sometime being in the 20s is like watching a car crash in slow motion... Don't know how much she got from that.

Anyway come 12:30 and everyone is getting a bit tired, and I said I would return the day after.... But then my target was wheeling his bike to stairs 2. Now I have befriended with his neighbors’, and I can now have free access to their flat! Genius!!! So I don’t have to explain to you how I got him drenched in the neck from behind. He passed the card to me like a real man, having just got his second kill few hours before....

We share some banters and beers.... I showed him my gun and he showed me his.... It was all good and well.... I had no fear as I come home as my new charged up gun can shoot further than I can spit, it’s a progress.

Munkiboy.

*********************************************************************

Supreme Commander,

After evading two assassination attempts last week, the second by taking out the assassin with an overhead water bomb ambush I have spent the weekend staking out my target – Christabel. I was demoralized by no sightings all weekend so positioned myself at a safe distance from her home address from 6am this morning. It proved difficult to remain inconspicuous on the leafy suburb in South London but I remained patient and sure enough at 7.51am target emerged from house.

*********************************************************************

Shadow Government Report

Agent Reefer Madness, a.k.a; Rxxx Bxxxx

Xx0 Kxxxxlxxx Rxxx

Kills: One

31st July 2006

Report So Far…

Monday 24th

I returned from work and took a look at my target’s (MF) home address. (Unarmed). Found the tower block and found two entries and exits, both of which I could cover. The door was on an intercom system. I left to plot my assassination. I checked the internet and found my target on a friends reunited site, turns out she may be Swedish.

Tuesday 25th

Due to unforeseen circumstances I had to spend most of the time in bars and restaurants and lo and behold I met the Pink Fluffy Kittens on Crack, both tooled up as I was. I received an amusing text from my assassin.

Wednesday 26th

I have taken to wearing hats and glasses at differing times of my day; I have altered my routes to work making lengthy extensions when hunting.

I finished work early and headed out to the targets work address. The Barbican is a maze of walk ways with parts open to the public. I scoped out the area and tried to ascertain where the offices were located. These found I looked for entries and exits and possible places for me to hide. I watched for some time the bike lockups; I had to move to avoid the gaze of the security guards. I moved on to a bus stop and began my vigil.

I decided to ask at one of the desks for my target to see if she was still in the building, as it was now after 5 pm. She was, the reception desk clerk wanted to know who I was so I made an untimely exit. I spotted the clerk and a blonde haired women staring out of the door roughly towards my location at the bus stop I could not positively identify the target.

I waited a further 50 minutes and the target never emerged, assumed I was busted I left for the evening some time after six pm. Returned home sent some texts to give her the Fear.

Thursday 27th

This morning I awoke with purpose in my step. I was up by 6.30 am and at my targets home address before 7am. I hunkered down with both exits in site. Just before 9am I breached the entrances via the ‘Traders’ button. I got outside the targets front door. There was a metal grate and then a foot and half space to the door, possibly I could reach the letter box and squirt thru the door? To my left was the bathroom window, the light on and a shower going, could it be my target? My heart races with the possibility. I check my surroundings and decide to leave and wait for her outside, there shall be no escape.

At 9.50 I retried the trader’s button, the time slot had passed and I had to leave to go to work.

That afternoon I left work and headed to my targets work address armed with ‘wanted posters’. They showed a picture of my target and offered rewards if they contacted ‘Wing Commander Ralph Smithers-Jones’. Most amusing I assure you. I plastered seven around the public walk ways and near the bike lockup and her main entrance and exit. Colleagues took an interest so I left to sit out from a distance. I saw a possible so I made myself ready, and strolled past her checking out her face. I was in two minds but decided, no. I sent my target a text saying ‘Let’s see how loyal your co-workers are… see you soon’.

I made my way over to the Security Guard, (to lie or not, mmm) I told him what I was up to and what I was about. I found out that this is her main entrance and exit, but there are many others. She also rides a bike. I show him a picture, to which he says that she has already left not 5 mins. ago. I realise my mistake and begin running up the street after my assumed target. She has just turned a corner, I withdraw my weapon and run the last few metres and call her name. She does not respond, I repeat, nothing. She turns around a little startled. I explained myself.

Soon find out that they know of her, but are in another department, they offer to coax her outside for me tomorrow. They also inform me of a private boat party down on a boat on the Thames, perfect. I get there extension numbers and arrange to call the following day.

I felt it was a good days hunting so left to rest my weary bones.

Friday 28th

I have not been sleeping well, no doubt with the stress and paranoia. Still not having seen my assassin is also not helping. He/she/they are either very good or very lazy?!

I got a voice mail call from an unknown at the offices of my target informing me she would be at a bar in Old Street, not wanting to miss the opportunity I finished work early.

I stacked out the empty bar for nearly two hours, no show, I called thru to her office twice and was told she was out and was not expected back. I felt a ruse so left for her offices. I got into the front office and got a guard to call up to her desk. He spoke with her and told her a friend was waiting downstairs, I made my excuses and waited outside away from her door. She was not foolish enough to come out but at least I found out it was a ruse, the jokers… Alls fair though. I tried to call thru to my contacts extensions but after chatting earlier on they no longer responded.

I felt annoyed about being conned but I couldn’t miss the possible opportunity of a hit. I left for home to plot my boat assassination. I had ringed thru earlier to HMS President posing as an employee, those suckers fell for it. Nibbles and drinks on board for a possible few hundred guests. Starts at 7pm till 2 am, casual wear, I’ll be there.

I gave myself plenty of time and got there a little after six-thirty for the party. I came with supplies, alcoholic drinks, a sandwich, a book and some smokes. I set up position across from the boat by a bus stop and had good views of people making there way onboard. I waited it out. I had a few maybes but couldn’t give a positive identification. I gave the boat a walk by and got some ominous looks from some of the revellers on the gang plank, mmm do they know my face, surely not?! I could see the deck and party goers, Barbican party goers drinking and eating I studied closely as many faces as possible. No target, perhaps inside perhaps she has not arrived? I continue to wait… It is after 9 now and I begin to feel drained again… I don’t think I got it.

It comes slightly darker so I move closer for a better look. Still nothing, I loose my cool and go for the boat, ignoring the possibility it may be a safe zone. I try to bluff the BIGGEST Eastern European (assumed Polish) man I have ever seen, he seems like he may go for it, but some other snifferling excuse for a ‘*u^_’ asks stupid questions and pours scorn on my arguments. I back track and try to look at the name list but there is no name list for me to see. The snifferling arse annoys me, I demand his name and he cowers for some reason. I retreat knowing the only way thru there will end in a trip to the hospital or a swim in the Thames…

Saturday 29th

Today was an uneventful; I have still not seen my assassin hide nor hair and private engagements caused me to loose track of time and end up in an alcoholic, plus, + mess… Good party though!

Sunday 30th

Today I felt would be the day, I was feeling drained both physically and mentally but the party may have cleared my head, I commiserated the Pink Fluffy Kittens on Crack. I got up and left around one and scoped out my targets apartment, I was considering climbing her balcony but was unsure if I would survive the fall? I took up my position with both exits in site.

I decided to check out the park that was close by because on a sunny day like this I wouldn’t want to be stuck inside. I saw some that fitted my description but cleared them with a ride-by. I returned to my position and noticed that some washing was hanging out on the balcony. I waited on; I saw a possible, she was checking me out, looking back. I rode around the block and came towards her face on but alas it wasn’t her. (Or so I thought)

I carried on waiting for some time. The washing had been removed?! I left my post for a breather and returned later on. All looked the same. I moved my position but was beginning to get noticed by some youths who seemed to have possible recognized me from before, have I over exposed my self? I moved on and did a few circuits of the block before admitting defeat some time after seven. I had only done some 4-5 hours today of waiting plus riding around the park and circuits of the blocks.

So I am left with the last day to make a physical attempt, but not actually knowing if I have actually seen her yet? I have also one more day to evade my assassin, but I am unimpressed with his/her/their efforts.

So what happens next, tomorrow I will go out to her flat and wait her out and try to take her in the early hours of the evening when she returns home? Will be looking out for a dog walker.

Monday 31st July

I resumed my daily work schedule. I was in work by 8.30. Still no sight of my assassin may be they have been terminated. I finished work near to four and headed home. After a quick bite I went off to her home address.

I stacked it out for a short while before attempting entry. I waited for someone to let me in and fully blagged it upstairs! I got to her door again but this time the metal gate was open?? I hunkered down by the door and quietly lifted the flap; it was covered, so I peered thru the key hole. I knocked but there was no movement. I retreated when someone came up the stairs behind me.

I waited it out on the stairwell before going to a balcony and hiding behind a misted glass door. I had my phone in my hand and my back to the door when I saw her door opening… My heart races with the possibility, blonde hair it must be her, I whip round and open the door, and……… WHAM……. I got her, she gave defence but was aiming the wrong way, guess I was too quick?? Ha-ha lol

We chatted, me rather excitedly. She had spotted me so many times it was a joke… I apologised for the Poster incident (possible not the best idea). I did ride past her on Sunday; my only defence was that she had had a haircut. Conclusion is that I definitely need new GLASSES!!!

I request a new Assignment asap.

Long reign the Shadow Government

*********************************************************************

Commander

My second victim proved far more worthy a target and did the game justice. His travel routes were random as hell and his insistence at staying at his girl friends house was frustrating…all though it made the kill even sweeter.

Yesterday I managed to gain access to his flats and I was certain I’d nailed him. I lined up a shot whilst he was busy washing up and blasted him on the back of the neck. As he turned around smiling I realised that his flat mate had a similar physical build and hair colour. I returned back to my bunker, tail between my legs.

Earlier I spoke to our moles in my targets office and confirmed he was in the building. Loyalty is such a cheap commodity nowadays. At first I placed myself slightly down the road outside a pub and sipped a cool beer whilst contemplating my next move. Eventually it dawned on me that I had to really get close to this cat in order to do the business. I moved nearer to the main entrance of his building and made sure that every time anyone left I’d be talking loudly into my mobile about media related issues to blend into his world.

As I laid eyes on him for the first time in 4 days he did exactly what I’d hoped and looked straight past me as I made up some bullshit about “delivering significant brand values”. I let him walk off but he was checking his rear often and before I knew it he was 30 meters away. I let him walk down the road and then sprinted around the block hoping he would continue southwards. I peeped my head round a corner and saw him approaching me on Oxford street. As always it was pretty damm busy and the look in his eyes as I stepped out of the crowds was utter confusion.

Another head shot, no aqua wastage.

Next target please. I’m hungry now.

Fear Factor Five

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Hello Commander

After a little under a week in the game I am no more.

I thought I was going to tear this game up.
My natural observational skills would surely see my progress through these lesser mortals.

I even boasted to my girlfriend about how I felt I should hang around
outside my flat for a while to give my would-be assassins a bit of a chance.

Sadly I had the same laidback attitude to my target. Thinking I could just turn up at his workplace and somehow coax him outside with my wit and cunning.

Now, after being expertly staked out by two professional assassins I am out.

I can open my door without fear and walk down the street without being suspicious of every passer-by.
But my life is emptier. The adrenaline as gone. Please tell me as soon as your next game is planned.

This time I will take no prisoners.

Moblood
--

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it is with a heavy heart i have to report that this evening my assasin shot me at last. after a week of me seeing him more than him seeing me (he cycled right past me yesterday - i was cleverly disgused in a baseball cap) he caught up with me at my front door as i left the flat. i did my very best to injure him first, but he was faster and his gun more powerful. i wish him very happy hunting in the coming weeks. he deserve it for sheer dedication alone.

while i'm dissapointed i didn't get my target i think it's fair to say that i scared and confused the hell out of him. the poor man did not look healthy the last time i saw him. i never knew waiting could be so much fun!

i will eagerly await the shadow government's return to these shores.

good luck to all remaining assassins.

over and out.

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Target: KB
Status: Assasinated
Time of Kill : 20:10
Bizarre phone number on card to prove death!?!: xxx-xxx-xxxx

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Methusalah strikes again. This time killing PM aka Ginja Ninja

Time 10.15pm

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Dear Commander,

To make life as simple as possible, Arrangement was made, and the assasin made the kill.

Tho I was a little easy on him.. I advised the gentleman 2 Locations I would be in, and it would be for 2 hours. He managed to get me after a fatal mistake on my part..

It was an arcade, I played a game, the latest Time Crisis style game.. and my skill attracted a crowd, the crowd attracting my assasin, and it was a fair kill once my game was over.

This makes my status mildly wet.. Pistol to the temple.

Unfortunatly my assasin also fell victim to his assassin later that night, but I'll let you be enlightened by his self.

I look forward to drinking some Jack with you, and regalling the good times.

Agent Myles
AKA CB
Shadow Goverment Corpse

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Commander. second target compleeted. full report will folow tommorrow.
fucking cunted from the steak out -hey, what you going to do while
sitting around for hrs on end. please send new target....
sharky

*********************************************************************

Now my plan was to perform a ‘cycle by’, exactly the same as a drive by but on a bicycle. On first sighting the target quickly moved towards a vehicle and opened the door. This was a major setback as I was hoping she took public transport to work where it would be easy pickings to take her out as she walked to the nearest bus stop. Nevertheless, she surprised me and went back into her house. Realising my opportunity I got on my bicycle and drew my weapon. As I began riding up the road she emerged again and quickly crossed to her car. I sped up and opened fire but she spotted me and shut here door to safety just before I could get the angle to make the kill.

As I steadied myself from falling off the bike I told her she was lucky this time. The response was merely a wry grin.

Despite being bitterly disappointed for not finishing the target especially after the early stake out I now know what car she drives and what time she leaves for work.

Next move… parking lot at target’s office. I feel my first kill is imminent and my next communication will detail the hit.

*********************************************************************

Supreme Commander,

I'll keep this short and sweet because I wouldn't want you to have to get that hooker off your face for too long:

Agent LW is sadly no longer with us. He will be fondly remembered as a nemesis who gave it his all right up to the end. And he was a helluva a nice guy to boot, but I can't really admit that, being the cold, calculating widow-maker of a man that I am.

After a meticulously planned (yet still somehow colossally blundered) attempt to liquidate my target on Friday night, I finally got my assasin's ass in gear and shot him in the heart in a classic drive-by scenario last night (Monday) at 21:38hrs GMT. It was a clean shot and he went down without a fight. If it's any consolation to his family, he would have felt nothing...apart from maybe a bit wet.


However, on the down-side, MY assassin has made absolutely no attempt to get me whatsoever, so I haven't as such been living in fear - more living in contempt for their lack of determination and ability. The only reason I know there actually IS someone out to "get" me was the text message I got last night at 22:32hrs GMT telling me to "watch my back". Good advice - I'd never have thought of that. What I'd like to know is if she (I presume it's a she with a name like "Flower of Life") is still in the game or if she has been disqualified for not making any attempts on me.

Finally - who's next? My trigger finger's getting real itchy.

Agent DL, signing off.

*********************************************************************

END

Comments (52)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Call the Coroner

August 2, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 3:38 AM

There's gonna be a lot of slow singin' and flower bringin'...

The first week is done and almost 1/3 of the competitors have been eliminated. We're right on track...

I wonder if London will be the first city to avoid having to go into sudden death...

I would also like to express my sadness at the passing of one of my favorite competitors, Snake Eyes...he did not have many kills, but the kills he got were done with style and grace worthy of a seasoned assassin. I think we'll be seeing Snake Eyes again...kinda like the Matrix, some agents, when put down, arise from the ashes significantly more powerful. A few already know this. So will the rest of you...albeit perhaps not in the way you expected.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I will be posting multiple times today as there is much to relate...things have happened that may very well change the face of this tournament...

Now, I guess I'll drop the kills of the day on you and then begin the day with a nice soak in my heated pool in the company of my concubines. Then a bit of falconeering...I lead such a stressful life...

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

CG killed RdRN
AC killed RE
JW killed SH

*********************************************************************

Here follows my kill report, and more.

JW

Client’s Name- SH

Time Of Liquidation- 5:20pm, 31st July 2006

Kill number- 2

Report:

As was suggested upon assignment, this hit was going to be tougher than previously. The client worked from home, and as such has no set timetable for leaving her premises. Having committed a couple of hours on basic recon on Sunday afternoon, I decided the easiest way to ice the target was to take a proactive approach. I had already requisitioned my flatmates polo shirt and hi-vis jacket from his position as a sub-contractor for the council last summer (Banksy-“ The best way to hide in a crowd is to wear a hi-vis jacket, and if questioned as to what you are doing, complain about the hourly rate (sic)”). Although this provided several opportunities, especially given that the house next to the targets is a building site, I opted for the bicycle courier approach, given that I cycle everywhere anyway, and no one wants to turn down a package.

Having retrieved a clipboard I use for fieldtrips from a cupboard, coupled with a fake spreadsheet with faked names, addresses and signatures (it took no more than 15 minutes to create), and placing a medium sized water pistol in a padded envelope I had lying around, I headed on down to the targets home.

Upon arrival, I gave the corresponding buzzer for her flat a quick push. It sounded off, but with no answer. Slightly discouraged, I tried again. After another pause, a somewhat unusual voice answered the call. At first, I took it top be that of a small child. No matter, I have no qualms about eliminating a target, children or no. The voice informed me that the client was not home, and was not likely to arrive until around 11pm (some six hours away).

Distinctly unimpressed, I told the voice on the intercom I would return tomorrow. As I placed the clipboard back in my bag and retrieved my bike from the wall at the front of the targets garden, a voice called to me from above. I saw the mark leaning out of the upper most window of the building. “Sorry, I’m playing this game called Streetwars, I thought you might be my assassin or something”.

MIIIIIIISTAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! It’s moments like these that make me feel all warm and tingly inside.

Amazing myself at my own acting skill by mustering a face of sheer bemusement, I called up, “No, I really have a package for you”, waving my clipboard.

“OK, just give me a minute, I’ll be right down”. I moved back to the front door, with plenty of time to retrieve the clipboard from my bag and ready myself. Sure enough the target emerged, all smiles in the doorway (at this point I have to say, her photo didn’t do her justice). “Print your name and sign here please”, I request, handing her the clipboard.

“Sure thing”, she replies, beginning to fill out the “obligatory” spaces. I have to stifle a burst of laughter when the target asks, whilst filling out the form, “What is it?”

Removing the package from my bag, and the weapon from the envelope, I state calmly, “It’s a water pistol”, before shooting the target in the neck and face.

Name calling aside, the target was a good sport, and we engaged in conversation for more than ten minutes, regarding the set up for the elimination, how she had pretended to be her “flatmate” over the intercom a number of times, and how the target’s game had been going thus far. Her main regret was that she was unable to finish her second target, given the amount of pre-planned time that she had spent stalking him.

Saying my goodbyes, I returned to my flat, before departing for a post-liquefaction celebration by liquefying myself at a local bar.

Unfortunately, this is also where I sign off, as if you are reading this, I am already dead, the reports of my activities to be released upon my elimination.

The first attempt on my dryness occurred at roughly 10pm on Friday the 28th, having received a number of less than subtle phone calls at work over the previous couple of days.

You ain’t got no game, fools.

No one was going to give you my work details, ‘cos they’re all in on it, and when you said you needed to when I was working because I’d left a jumper at your place, you forgot one thing.

I HAVEN’T WORN A JUMPER IN 2 MONTHS; IT’S BEEN TOO FUCKING HOT.

The single advantage my would be assassin had on me was that not five minutes previous to his attempt I had smoked a fat cone of “herbal remedy”, and was thus not at my sharpest. A loud banging on my door roused my attention, however I could immediately tell, thanks to the frosted pane of glass in my front door, that there was no one stood outside. Despite my somewhat mashed state, 2+2 still equalled 4 and I ignored the knocking, returning to the film I was watching. The rap, rap, rapping on my door occurred another two times, the latter of which I positioned myself up against my front door, in the hope of catching my would be assassin. Whilst awaiting their next move, a barrel was pointed through my letterbox, which proceeded to hose down everything on one side of my hallway, except me (of course). I could hear the pumping of the weapon being recharged, before another redecoration of my flat’s walls. Taking my chance, I opened the door but before I could get a shot off, the other side of my corridor was hosed down, yet still I remained dryer than a nun’s intimate area.

“Gotcha”, cried the man at my door.

“No, you didn’t”, I replied

“Yeah, I did”

“No, you really didn’t, and can you please stop firing your gun through the letterbox, it’s fucking up my flat”.

Silence. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

I sat back down and resumed watching my film, somewhat irate. Credit where credits due, the guy then rang me on my mobile and apologised. Feeling somewhat sorry for the guy, I told him it would be fine, whilst assuring him he wasn’t about to take me out anytime soon.

The following day, I was about to leave my flat in the late afternoon, when I made a recon check of my flat’s balcony. In doing so, I couldn’t help but notice the guy.

Running across the car park in front of my flat.

With a huge super-soaker in his hands.

He waved at me.

I decided to play it safe, albeit in a slightly pussy way, and go back inside for the evening. Hey, why risk it?

Sunday went by with no event and it was not until 12:20am on Tuesday, following a mash-up to celebrate my most recent kill, that I heard anything new. I retuned to my flat, via the back stairs of my building. In trying to avoid the awkward, darkened corners of the main staircase, I had made my only real mistake. Passing a couple of girls stood out side of their flat, around the corner from mine, I passed their presence off as wholly usual, many people hang around on the balcony now the weather is warm. What I had not accounted for was that my assassin, having showed such little tact and skill up to this point, had spent 30 hours, over the Friday to Monday period, watching my flat, befriending one and all in flats both in my building and the surrounding blocks. This includes my next door neighbours, half the people living on the upper floor of the rear section of my building, and a builder renovating a flat in the building adjacent to mine, from a good view of my front door is provided. Eventually, he got chatting to the two girls stood on the balcony, who ended up letting him hide inside their flat until I showed up, at which point he shot me in the back.

Game over.

The End.

*********************************************************************

It is with great pleasure that I can report the timely demise of Agent CB, but without ease.....

After stalking the workplace from early hours (thinking that my target was a tube driver on shifts) with no luck, I taunted my target by email. My target disclosed that he had in fact left his current workplace and was no longer there. The scent was never picked up.

My target in recompense (I salute you) gave me the opportunity to take him down at a given X and Y location over a certain time period to make up for this lack of insight communication. Operation Honey Trap was put into place. A few flirty emails and a call from a woman set the scene. I got to the specified location in advance and looked for cunning places to hide. But like a bolt from the blue, Agent CB turned up right in front of me, or was it?

His photo displayed someone with an aggressive pose dark hair and an air of "come and have a go if you think you're hard enough." Yet the man who stood before me had different hair colour, wore glasses and was 10ft taller than imagined. Call in the honey. A swift call confirmed his ID and I set upon taking my target down. Bollocks, where did he go? FUCK!! Not impressed. Got back home, slapped said honey about and set about my next phase.

To cut a long story short, I stalked my target at his home location but he managed to get to a safe zone on a train before anything could happen. Stood alongside him for a while smelling his fear but then a swift change of carriage and getting off at unexpected stop cut my operation short. The honey trap established that he had ventured another way. Foiled again.

Time was running short. Monday had arrived. Target traced to the Trocadero. With pulses racing accompanied by the honey trap my target was sighted shooting people (with a good degree of skill I may add) on Time Crisis 4. Moved into a growing crowd watching his deft hand movements when at last the game finished. A quick grab of the shoulder, a mumbling of his name with gun under chin, his life was over. I'm not one for long distance nonsense.

I salute my target for being a great sport and making my evening. But all was not over.......

After setting up my usual yet randomised going home plan and getting the all clear from the honey trap, there were words I was not expecting to hear.

"Oh my God!!"
"What?"
"The keyholes are covered in sellotape. RRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!"
Unfortunately my bust knee did not allow for this so warning bells were sounding. My phone rang signalling an impending attack, nerves heightened. Like a coiled snake lurching from his shady hole, "Black Mamba" leapt from the boot of his car and gave attack with a frontal assault. My aim 'missed' and I was soon drenched. After hearing that he'd hidden in his boot for 6.5 hours awaiting my arrival (this was now 1.5 hours before the Rogue Assassins were released like the hounds of hell), I gave up my trophy and with it, my honour of the previous kill.

My head is held in shame, yet an evil glimmer appears. The crack whores of London are now going to get a pasting.

Here lies Ginja Ninja, frozen, healing, awaiting the next year's trials....

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Dear Mr & Mrs de Re-M,

We regret to inform you that your son R de R-M was woefully and brutally soaked by CG this evening. Whilst he excelled in hiding like a little girl and caused a hold up to C's immanent victory. He was useless with a pisolero and therefore paid the ultimate price. He is now at home and probably needs his blankey and a warm coco to console him.

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Ok, so let this be a lesson to all you couplets out there. When you're in a water gun assassination tournament where there is a high likelihood that your assassin will be waiting for you to leave your house on those essential trips like going to work, buying rations etc, don't make it easy for them by MEETING YOUR GIRLFRIEND AT HER CAR when she comes over. That's just not clever.
Ask agent RE who paid for that mistake with the aridity of clothes just moments ago.

Next assignment please.

*********************************************************************

Comments (8)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Ready To Die

July 31, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 1:53 PM

No attempts?

No kills?

No problem!

It would be uncouth of me to just drag the tip of my pencil across your names on the kill list and let you die quietly...well...hmm...perhaps not uncouth, but it certainly wouldn't be any fun to have you suckers go out that way - and suckers you are...little babies couldn't even find their targets...

Well...

Now you are a target.

My Army of Rogue Assassins is gonna hunt you punk-ass bitches down and fully drench your pansy asses.

You didn't have the skills to cut it as an assasssin, but at least you'll go down like an assassin.

Peep the words below, from one of the Rogues...then imagine all that pain and suffering and horror if it was water...that's what you fools are gonna get hit with.

"I must leave now. I have witnessed two of my team mates, including my leader Sensai Masterchef, get murdered in cold water and I cannot continue for I have wet nightmares! But i will return. The head has been destroyed, but the heart is still beating.

Off to the mountains I will hide untill the next tournament, honing my skills that i was taught by Sensai. The Wu-Tang Water Strike, the Shogun Stealth Stalk and the Drying Dragon Technique, these are the skills i hold dear and, Ryukenden, these are the things you should all fear.

I am dry and i plan to stay that way, but why were my teams mates drenched so mercyfully, was it lack of skill?. NEVER. Lack of dedication?. NEVER. Lack of co-ordination due to alcohol?. MAYBE. All i know is that i will have my revenge.

Revenge is a dish best served cold, with some parsley and white wine
vingerette. This is what Sensai Masterchef always taught me.

Agent F1ve_5tar"

Men With the Golden Guns goldenified with golden water bullets made of gold the ungolden Agent MK

The Men With the Golden Guns were all happy and celebrating their first wetting (how cute!) when they got their asses handed to them (and wettified) by Tag Team.

Agent DD killed a puppy and a preist, had sex with a bunch of hookers, watched some porn, killed one of the hookers, then went out and wet Agent DW - busy morning, eh?

The Dangerous Duo was rendered undangerous by the wetting of their team leader by Archangel.

Agent ED got high on drugs and wetted Agent TJ.

Immersion went on the Tube carrying water guns...they took them all the way to see Agent MM..RIP MM.

Ryukenden started by picking apart the ShedSquad...tonight they finished the job. Ryukenden should still be wary of them...the dead have benn known to rise...

Agent WL killed Agent JF (sory ////// ggggeting a vd bj)))

kil strois

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More excitement to report...recieved notification whilst on my way home that a suspicious charecter had come to the door on 2 occaisions. I was on high alert coming out the station, but, having been given a description, I was able to identify and neutralise the threat. My would-be assasisin was extremely gentlemanly about his wetting, and even gave me the bunch of flowers he had brought as a cover story. Guess I'll see him monday.

*********************************************************************

Detailed write-up to follow, but needless to say MK ius now swimming with the fishes. Hit occurred at 11.43am on Sunday 30th July in West London - picture attached as evidence

Please send details of our new target asap

cheers,
Agent Scaramanga & Agent Nick Nack

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Tag Team have taken out The Men with the Golden Guns.

After a week of gross incompetence and high surveillance The Duchess and Poirot took out Joel (dunno his agent name) this morning at 09.00 hours after a gun battle in the street. Poirot and Joel duelled and dodged but it was decided that Poirot had dampened him first. The Duchess followed it up with a final golden shower. Despite attempting to use his girlfriend as a human shield he was taken dooooooooooown!

We began with mind games and psychologically intimidating text messages. Followed up by psychologically intimidating emails. Our special target responded and some healthy, dare I say verging on flirtatious text banter ensued. Meanwhile, his team member didn’t appear to be aware of the game……. So we channelled the full force of the TAG TEAM on to pursuing Joel.

Luckily our man got his man the day before with an absolutely genius attack. We couldn’t have asked for a nicer target – he will always have a special place in our hearts and he was HOT!!

Despite accidentally sending a photo of ourselves to the target, spending two days outside the wrong address, accosting the wrong target, the TAG TEAM are proud to announce they are looking for their second kill.

Bring it on. We wanna take you all down!!!!

Standing by for our next assignment.

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The Dangerous Duo whacked David Whitehouse at 1800hrs outside his house. The assassins set up surveillance using cunning disguises and spotted the target leaving his house. A stealth operation then commenced and the target was hit in the back of the neck and is now swimming with the fishes.

We await our next assignment

Dangerous Duo

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Archangel wet Alex J , Dangerous Duo Team leader at 9am Monday morning.

Who do we get next?
--
dko & delazouche

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hey! i finally blapsed up my target!:D sitting outside his house for six hours.. but i fucking doused that mother fucker!!!!!
The chap i got(TJ) said you would email me the details of my next victim! Please send them as soon as you can... ive tasted blood and i want more, more, MORE!
Luv ems xx

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Team Immersion proudly announce their first hit. It was a by the numbers job and a good soaking.

Timeline:
2.30pm Agents Deluge and Downpour leave the sanctuary of their den and head off into the warzone. First stop - the target's workplace. Just to check.

3.00pm Having seen a nice looking Pizza place on the way, Agents Deluge and Downpour decide it's time for a spot of late lunch.

4.30pm Fully sated, we head for the target's home address.

4.45pm We call his home phone and discover it's either empty or nobody's answering. Agent Deluge decides that now is not the time for half measures and spies some people coming in and out of the security door to load a van. Timing it perfectly and keeping his cool, he infiltrates the building and locates the mark's flat. Agent Downpour meanwhile finds a comfortable spot with a good view of both entrances to the property. Now the waiting begins.

6.29pm Agent Deluge hears a noise from his vantage point that can only be our pigeon and begins pursuit

6.30pm Agent Downpour finishes rolling his cigarette and looks up to see a man matching our description creeping down the road with his hand in his bag and scanning all around himself. Here's our punk. Agent Deluge starts to run and is quickly spotted, the soon to be soaked man starts to sprint up the road towards the bus shelter, safety, and unfortunately for him, Agent Downpour running across the road to intercept. He gets a thorough wetting from both sides.

6.31pm We shake hands, retrieve Deluge's backpack from inside the
building, and head to the pub with our trophy (card) and big grins on
our faces.

Line up the next one.....

Agent Downpour,
Team Immersion.

*********************************************************************

Supreme,

The Glistening Blade from Ryukenden killed RL from The Shed Squad yesterday. Aprox 5pm.

*********************************************************************

Supreme Commander,

JF successfully neutralised.

After a few days, where my cunningness was foiled by laziness on the side of the target, his ass is now soaked. Through methods which I cannot disclose as I shall use them later, I set up a cunning trap, sadly to no avail.

Resorting to waiting outside his house this morning and catchin' his sorry house trained butt taking the rubbish out. Sitting duck.

Send me a target worthy.

Bear

*********************************************************************

END

Comments (17)

Game Updates/Player Stories

How Bribes Work...

July 29, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 5:19 PM

Bribes work very well.

Some of you are having trouble finding your targets.

Some of you want to evade more successfully.

Tuesday I release my Rogue Assassins upon you...

Maybe you need help.

The Shadow Government is, as any clandestine organization, corrupt. Meaning, we take bribes and do things for people because of said bribes...

Just know that bribery is a tricky thing...you don't want to offer something that can be seen as offensive and knonw that whatever should you offer, it CAN NOT be cash.

Cash is useless to us, we pretty much own and run the international banking systems...so be imaginative and propose something good.

We accept the bribe and maybe we give you some extra information...

Below you get some kill stories...

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

Agent DS kicked it like Mr. Miyagi and summarily waxed the Indecipherables.

Agent CG felt bad as Agent EF was sufferng from the heat...like a good samaritan CG hyrdrated EF...Ef was no longer thirsty, as he was dead.

Agent RR humidified Agent LD...

*********************************************************************

My dearly revered Commander,

It is with deep regret that I inform you of my premature
death yesterday evening. My killer made a valiant attempt
and took me down in an embarrassing flurry of high pitch
screaming and swearing.

As I edged home yesterday evening, two blonde nimble
ladies jogged past me and took a random detour down my
street. Believing this to be suspect behavior I followed
them with my eyes and believed them to have hid further
down my street.

My boyfriend coincidently returning home at the same time
was homing in from the other end of the street, and
therefore a brief phone call to him to spy out any blonde
leggy blondes in lycra was requested. He who was
originally feeling the weight of dating a hunted Agent was
surprisingly enthusiastic with this appointed role..

Meanwhile I edged closer with rather random baby steps and
stops down the street.

Even with a few seconds grace (due to my super sonic
hearing of crumpling of leaves behind van) I was still too
shocked to see neither my presumptuously spotted killer
(I thought I had on day one) or the two blonde birds – but
a primed and ready super soaker pointed directly at my
head held by a leaping and bounding unsuspected randomer.

I am sorry to say I screamed like a total girl, shocked so
much and in such a state of flight or fight that my feet
stuck to the ground for what seemed an eternity. My vision
took seemingly hours to take in the extent of what was
happening. With narrowed vision I started to run, my
screams slowly following behind. I didn’t get far before I
took 2 shots to the back. In all this hysterity I only
managed to get an apparently too shocked to function hand
in my ergonomically designed pouch, to retrieve my pound
shop water gun. Embarrassingly the only thing I managed to
wet was said pouch with a few internal trickles caused by
my erratic movement.

I was in a sad and sorry state swearing loudly and
stamping my foot for a good 5 minutes. My killer seemed to
stand in shock apologising while I continued to shrill
‘How’ and ‘Nooooo!’ over and over.

As everything began to calm down my strolling boyfriend
appeared with a half ‘oh you must have got shot, never
mind you are still a winner in my eyes baby etc’ smile and
a half wry ‘yes she’s out, now I can stop going out with a
paranoid jumpy stalking nutter’.

Honorable tales of stalking were exchanged. (I did manage
to get into my targets block of flats and leave a scary
message on the back of a letter addressed to her, in
addition to freaking her team members’ receptionist out
with rapid fire questioning.)

Needless to say card was awarded, hand shook, and promises
of celebration beers – him for his kill and me for my
freedom.

Pulling at straws I am hoping I may be rewarded for my
original turkey water device and be assigned to work
directly for the government and assist your most esteemed
Commander in taking more players out?

Tail between legs but still semi in the game living
vicariously through my killer. (More of that on another
day).

In baited breath,

Agent Fifi

*********************************************************************

Team Indecipherables leader JLD is all washed up at 23.15 outside [REDACTED] having arrived home from work. The team had deserted her and were nowhere to be seen and despite valiant anti-surveillance tactics failed to spot the gunman playing the drunk staggering up the road. Realisation came too late and an exchange of fire ensued. All targets ammunition was used up and with no backup or team to assist was quickly put out of her misery and summarily executed.

The tags were removed from the bold fighter and make a fine addition to my trophy collection.

I hope the kill meets with your approval and that you see fit to engage me on a further mission as soon as possible.

*********************************************************************

Well I spoke to soon 4 days nothing, then.... My NEW assassin (congrats Fred on the previous kill) made an almost worthy attempt at a hit but unfortunately in Canary Wharf, young, jeans, t-shirt, cap, bright green pistola tucked in belt, hanging around on street corners kinda stands out, simple bit of misdirection and bam, water bomb, 24 safe hours.

Not exactly a kill but happy to still be around.

Now back to concentrating on hitting my targets, I hope they don't have too much planned this weekend, I have.

Also to let you know (as my targets will confirm) ‘serious’ attempts at a hit, including a foot race through Shepherds Bush at 7:45am Monday and a window shot to boot. Piss poor efforts on range from the weaponry and accuracy from me but these have now been upgraded to ensure I am worthy of a proper report in my next communication.

*********************************************************************

cg has tagged EF. please send new profile ASAP,
as I am behind my win schedule .
Best c

*********************************************************************

I had an urge for a milky drink so I pop down to the store. OK, so I'm in orange mode it been Saturday (the day most of the lazy players are going to make there move, I’ve been taunting my stalker/new girlfriend with some vicious calls & txt’s and well I'm always in Orange mode). I do some mild evasive tactics exiting the building. About 100m from my door. I hear the familiar patter of someone tailing me. I turn to see a slightly flustered guy (Ok, a 25-30 year old, male Caucasian, approximately1 5'10-6'1, light blonde hair, medium cut bob style, I also noticed that he has a zinc deficiency, judging by his clothing and demeanour earning approximately mid to late 20‘s, judging by his hand movements probably does production in the creative industries - side note he has thin wrists, this really is the one area an assassin needs bulk) moving towards me at high speed. In one hand he has my profile and he's trying to make me in the other he has a pistolero and oh, oh what’s this he's blown his load to early - no stamina or distance. Do I end it here ?(well for another 24hrs at least) or do I draw it out?

Well if you read my previous entry you know, how I'm rolling. I engage my “Sinjuju running on air” technique, lets see what this Player is made of. Not bad, he tried to keep up with me for about 3 mins. This kids got moxy and heart (the assassins greatest asset). So I decided to play a little game of stop and aim. I thought that I’d try make him use all his water up - this as all you Players know would crush his spirits, show him he is a child bumbling around in a mans game and he would leave the game to the real assassins whilst he pursued his real passion of being a baker. Naturally you have to very skilled in the “Matrix bullet time evasion techniques” for this complicated manoeuvre to work. I stopped and pretended to shoot 3 times whilst on the move. Each time using my opponents force on himself and causing him to lose more of his ammunition.

Oh the fun we had. But as they say all good things must come to an end. Bada - bing!! I delivered the death blow swiftly. Please note if you are attempting this technique do not, I repeat do not count your victory to early. Allow your Vic sometime to realise what has happened , naturally the human brain of an untrained assassin cannot process the sequence of events quickly enough land this may leave him slightly dazed & confused and his inner child may be asking questions such as “ did I get you?”. Ha Ha I almost felt sorry for this young padwan. Did I get you? Indeed. No son all you got was tired, broken and wet. With a tear in his eye (please note: could have been water from my pistol ) and with his last breathe he squeaked our a “but I‘ve been waiting hours”

So in conclusion my evaluation of my young student:

Blending technique - Strong. Even though I had given the local area a medium scan I did not notice him.
Disguise - Well a true assassin needs not to hide himself like some little girly boy and if his intention was to look like a young urbane metro sexual bravo he achieved it.
Weapons - Weak, but hopefully the lesson learnt today will prepare him for the next encounter (if he is around long enough)
Fitness - He did have youth on his side but I fear that gritty determination is no replacement for a Martin Riggs style running - Weak
Technique - I fear this is my Padawans real downfall. Waiting hours whilst your Vic is mere metres away. Nonsense if you do not have a clear shot. This time could be put to good use taunting and slowly etching away at your Vic’s humanity, piece by piece you could be dismantling their reality once this is achieved you have won the battle and the final shot is more of a mercy killing than a victorious triumph to be celebrated. But it is there own fault for not facing you in the war zone has a warrior.

I noticed he made his way to my victims waiting line or as others in the vicinity refer to it as the café in my block to finish his coffee (if only it had awaken him earlier). He had regained a little of his composure and as he shamefacedly walked past he taunted “24 hours “. If only this limit could be shortened the fun that we could have. Naturally I responded with “I‘m looking forward to it and you are going to be needing a bigger gun”

Please send me the address that I should be delivering my next package of watery fury to. Anyway till then I'll be in the shower honing my water dodging skills.

*********************************************************************

Yea baby,

Thats what I'm talking about. After a week of stalking, missinformation (from his place of work and one of his flatmates - I had mistakenly assumed dis guy was a neighbour) & my victim (yes, victim) holeing himself up in his apartment. I tagged the sucker.Yea baby,

That's what I'm talking about. After; a week of stalking, misinformation (from his place of work and one of his flat mates - I had mistakenly assumed dis guy was a neighbour) & my victim (yes, victim) holing himself up in his apartment. I tagged the sucker.

Driven to desperation I had planned to cap the Vic through his mailbox. After spending many fruitless hours waiting in his apartment block. I whittled a piece of wood into the right shape to keep the mail flap open. Leaving enough room for my camera to film the event and my pistelero to do the deed. Today I went down there and got into his block, got to his front door and popped the flap open as per my plan.

I was observing the behaviour of the 3 flat mates, identifying my target and looking for any signs that could be used to my advantage when the moment came.

I realised that I had a chat with previously while on a stake out and all the info he had been giving me was spurious. Then my plan had to change slightly. The same flat mate I spoken to previously made his way to the door to chuck the garbage out, within seconds I was ensconced on the fire escape. I made the guy, lifted my finger to my mouth in the universal gesture for if you make a noise consider yourself soaked, and made my way towards the entrance of the apartment. He responded meekly with "please, please anything but wetting my apartment please, we're all going out in a minute" (British time for half an hour).

Naturally I should have soaked him on the spot, but I respected that, the guy realised I could take him out any second, but his thought were for his apartment. I nodded, again giving him the finger to mouth gesture.

Now I know as well as all of you, the moment the front door closed he was going straight in to tell the Vic. This gave me scant seconds to come up with a back up plan. So I headed down the passageway and popped up the wall with a technique I call the "Li-Parker" Crawl (See Exhibit A, stripped of all identifiable features). Moment later 2 guys rush out of the door brandishing their pistols wantonly whilst hiding behind a black (black as the night) umbrella. As planned they headed straight for the Fire Escape, realise they have been duped, turn around and head in my direction. The guy in front obviously the decoy blocking with the umbrella.

I drop down and ... Unfortunately I cant say I enjoyed the next few moments of Oldboy/Leon style carnage that ensued. The years of suppressed training and instinct took over. Damn I thought that was all behind me "the horror, the horror". Needless to say when the last water drops made their way down the soaked walls. There was only one man standing.

Deflated I immediately phoned my stalker/new girlfriend and told them that I was a little bored and had some time to kill while I waited for my next tag. Why don't they come down as I need the target practise. I hope its a team this team.

Scary I know, even scarier - I might be coming after you next.

Please send my next profile I'm behind schedule and intend to catch-up ASAP.

Oh yes you tell them I'm coming, I'm coming and hells coming with me.

Spartan THX1138

*********************************************************************

LD is wet. This guy was a mission to track down though as he lives MILES away and I've got no transport. The geek shouldn't advertise where he's going out of a Saturday evening in internet forums. Got him with a water balloon in a nightclub about a minutes walk from my house. Can my next target live a little closer to me please?!

There was a whole big chase two nights ago where we went to the guy's house, my mate posed as a double glazing salesman to try and get information out of the neighbours, we found he lives with his parents so I soaked his dad just 'cos he was the one who answered the door. My target was out so we went for a beer in his local pub. No one there knew him but just as we left he drove right past us, blatantly heading back to his house. We caned it after him and thought I had him trapped when we blocked his car in his parking space with him still sat in it and me pointing a water pistol at his head through the window. I looked away for a second though and he managed to jump out the door and squirt me in the face. I don't think he realised he'd got me as he carried on running, but being the honourable assassin I of course am, I told him he'd earned his 24 hour reprive.

Got him now though! Who's next? Let me know asap as I wanna get on his case today.

*********************************************************************

END

Comments (19)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Snake Eyes

July 28, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 7:43 PM

Now usually when I write I will regale with with stories from my life and give you a bit of insight to the life of the Supreme Commander...

However, once in a bllue moon one of you will rock something so awesome that I have no words.

This is one of those days.

The story behind the picture:

The date was Friday the 28th of July. A day like any other for the average man on the street, but for those few brave souls, the members of the brotherhood of street warriors who march to the beat of a different drum, it was a completely different reality! A day following a sleep deprived night!, a day with no rest from the fear of walking out of that door, a day of hunting and being hunted!

it had been a hard week as i had come across some bad intel on my target, which meant i had wasted a whole lot of time staking out, dressing up, and rubbish rumaging. However our esteemed leaders came to my rescue with the news that this target was no longer a contender and offered me a brand new and obscenely dry target in the form of the Butcher!

As soon as I saw his photo it was clear he had but one destiny and it involved looking down the 8inch barrel of my mini super soaker, forged in the fires of hell! That night was spent in my control centre following some excellent fajitas and good company. Satellite intel was called up revealing no obvious rear exits, office hours were established, routes of travel, lock stock the f*%king lot. Similar was done for the home address as there is no room for error in this business, every bit of intel is important, no matter how small!!

My driver arrived later than i would have wanted due to mounting some counter survielance for me. We then drove top speed to the butchers office (via a really hot girls house as he hadn't finished being a movie runner for the day!). We got there, sat opposite the entrance to his building having a pint at the oh so convieniently placed pub and waited! Waited ......WAITED zzzzzzzzzzzz

Then at approx 6.45 he emerged wearing a very comical hat at a jaunty angle! Finally success was in my grasp, the fear of being soaked before getting the chance to soak was to much to bear and soon that would be a distant worry. I pursued on foot while my man ( We'll call Private Lee Random ) went to get our vehicle. Private Random caught up and i jumped in. the quarry was in sight and about to cross the road. We pulled slowly up behind him, electric window buzzing as it descended like an axe falling. We then screeched into a spot just in front of him, and as he walked up i could smell his fear, his eyes looked out from under the corner of his dodgy peaked cap, his hand reached into his bag!!!! But with the words GAME OVER SUCKAAA he was dispatched, in a furious and unrelenting blast from my trusty soaker.

I'd like to thank the Butcher for being such a great victim, and wish him more success in his other endeavours. I hope his cocktail party was a great success. Also my driver and online support team without whom soakings of this calibre would never have been possible. I'd also like to thank my asassasins for being total weak ass suckas who have been useless and only managed to shoot my flatmate who is no where near as good looking as i am! Better luck next time !

I'm off to listen to Mark Ronson

Dusty Bottoms signing off

***

This type of thing just warms my cold, black heart.

Below are the days kills and more players stories...

The Association has moved up ein the rankings once again. They have broken new ground in the game - they bagged their 3rd and in th eprocess removed Team Squirtworks from the competition. Will anyone be able to put a halt to their killing?

Agent TM aquatically defenestrated Agent MW...how exactly this happened I have no idea, but I take TM's word...

The Aquatic Assassins got their first kill and befriended a bunch of Brazilians in the process. I have been sworn to secrect regarding the details, but it *could* have been their picture up there on the front page...Rest in Peace Agent RG.

And now, as usual, Kill Stories:

*********************************************************************

Supreme Commander, The Association wish to report the untimely demise of target No3, CL, team captain of Squirtworks at 0825 on 280706. The Gardener and Quizmaster waited for target avoiding heavy scouting by targets woman. So much so both target and his woman walked right past The Association's position. Before he saw us The Gardener issued him a one way ticket into the ground. Request next target... Stay Dry, The Association.

*********************************************************************

NW has been iced.

After only a twenty minute wait he emerged from the lift this morning. With his back to me and fumbling around with his bike I took him out. There was no defence, no reaction to grab his gun or anything. He was caught napping and his arse was mine.

He took like a man though and handed me his card.

*********************************************************************

The Aquatic Avengers hereby report the successful assassination of RG (Roger no More) at 0200hrs Friday 28th July.

*********************************************************************

Comments (16)

Game Updates/Player Stories

It Just Don't Stop...

July 27, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 1:46 PM

Fuck yeah!

Today totally freakin' ruled...in large part thanks to you cats.

Wait.

Not all of you...just the cats that did awesome things, whether it was evade their killers (again - you should be ashamed of yourselves), take out a difficult target or write up a ridiculously dope story.

Thank you.

The skills exhibited by some of you are inspiring even to me, a seasoned assassin and one of the most powerful figures in the world. Even if you all don't get to the end, I'd be happy to write you recommendations and provide references should you choose to apply for employment with any of the international assassination guilds that are closely monitoring this competition.

Ah. Yes...almost forgot. You cats should probably know this, Tuesday I will be debuting my new class of rogue assassins. These cats have undergone serious indoctrination and training. I'm pretty proud of them and I think they'll definately makes your (soon to be cut short) lives more interesting. We had them training Shiri style in danger room type environments...suckaz had to fuck with acquatic weaponry from the future...with lasers. You hear me ?! LASERS. [Yeah, we got time travel on lockdown as well]

Anyways...

Had a bunch of action go down today, here's a brief rundown of the day's events.

Agent AC pumped, primed, locked, loaded and wetted Agent HM.

Association celebrated Thursday with their 2nd kill - Agent JW. First assassins to make it to kill #2. I think the rest of you should start getting worried about now...The Association seems to be on a roll, I'd be worried if they were on your ass, chances are yer not going to remain dry for long...

ME de-aridated the team with the most amusing name - Pink Fluffy Kittens On Crack. I was thinking about shedding a tear for their passing, but they made no kills, have no skills and therefore I shall not mourn. Damn good name though.

The Aquabats, made their first kill, Agent MR, and underwent a name change. It seems this new name brings them luck...let's see how far it carries this team...

Agent MG used his Ninja training to wettify Agent Fifi. Extra respect for having the balls to chill under a truck (aka a lorry) and risk crushing by wheels to get the kill.

HM, eliminated at 07.00 on the 27th of July.

Two shots to the back of the head as he casually walked down to kentish town station, as he had done every morning this week, at roughly the same time. Loser.

Gave me his card nice n easy though, so hats off to him there.

Mr Anderson

*********************************************************************

Good morning or whatever time it is over there... The Association would like to confirm another kill. Target No. 2 aka JW of [REDACTED]. Was assassinated at 0745 on 270706. Both the Gardener and Quizmaster General were present, target was spotted and caught like a rabbit between a car and a scooter, with the Quizmaster getting the shot into the targets rib cage. Please forward next assignment asap. Stay Dry, The Association.

*********************************************************************

Commander, my report as follows:

Assignment
-target 1: BS (team leader -Pink Fluffy Kittens on Crack)
-target 2: JC.
Status
-BS capped in the ass!

Being early in the game I wanted to get J. first. It almost seems too
cruel, to kill a whole team on the morning of day 3. But it feels
sweeeet.

Day 1 & 2, mostly comprised of stalking the targets simply to get a good idea of their, schedule/routes. Here's a highlight from day 2:

I worked out from Jason's email that he is the director of a media
consulting company, and hosts a site about video gaming. With a little IP detective work, by tracing the packets to his server, I figured out his hosting company. [REDACTED - TACTICS]

"I'm going to keep checking out this suspicious activity throughout the day. I'm here 'till 8pm, when's the latest I can call you on this
number?"

It's a shame since I think he genuinely bought it (at least at first).

Oh well, at least I fucked with his head a little.

BS's kill was a standard stalk and shoot. Hiding in a good view
point, I waited for either B. or J. to leave their home (they lived
together). I watched B. come out and walk around the block to the train station. Once out of sight I bolted around the block in the opposite direction. I passed him (with a quick glance to make sure it was him), then turned around and killed him in cold blood in the back.

Quick, clean and silent.

Awaiting new assignments.

Agent, Sharky

*********************************************************************

The new name is extra appropriate, as at 8.30pm last night, agent Man In Black and Blackglove made a particularly acrobatic performance, taking out MR [REDACTED] in their first kill. After an accumulated 4/5 hours of stealth stalking of the magazine's HQ over the last couple of days we finally managed to pin him outside his house, when the writer made a foolish attempt to buy biscuits from his local shop. In perfect teamwork we covered each side of the doorway, and jumped him as soon as he came out. He tried to run, but to no avail.

*********************************************************************

Dearest Most Supreme Leader:

This evening, Agent Fifi (aka DE) met the business end of my hose. I stalked her this morning, starting at dawn. I clung to the lower branches of the tree across from her building, and when she emerged - her head disguised in a Muslim/cancer cloth - and accompanied by her boyfriend - I alit from the tree and sauntered (that's the only word for it) on the opposite side of the street. I shadowed them to the tube and let her have her day.

then this evening came, and I tagged Fifi as she came home. Hiding
underneath a lorry (aka a truck) I waited for her to get opposite me,
and then ninja'd across the street. See saw me with just enough time
to scream and try to run. She tried to get her gun out of her bag, but couldnt. It was too late for little Agent FiFi.

Please assign me a new target. I have primed the pump.

Respectfully yours,
MG

*********************************************************************

END

Comments (19)

Game Updates/Player Stories

Can You Count, Suckaz?!!!

July 27, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 1:42 AM

After a nice cold Bavarian beer this morning, to help me wash the taste of stale cigarettes and hooker spit (from last night's festivities) from my mouth, I slid into my velvet slippers and stumbled down the carved marble corridor leading to the Shadow Government mainframe computer to check on your progress in the game.

What I saw made my jaw drop in awe.

In but 2 days, y'all have given me 14 kills!

Respect. This old assassin has single tear of joy hanging in the corner of his eye, ready to make the long journey down his face.

I have not seen wettings like this since I spent time in Armenia during Water Day aka Jewer Day (an actual holiday for you uncultured clowns).

You done did me proud assassins.

Seriously, this number of kills is truly commendable. No other place has taken to wetting as fast and with such vigor as you have...I tip my (water) gun to you...if you keep on going at this pace, there will be no need for sudden death.

Will you be the first city to avoid my wrath during Sudden Death? I hope for you to make StreetWars history, but I somehow doubt it...

And now to the drenchings...

JW removed Team 00r from the competition with a few drops of water.
Ryukenden waited until their target was done drinking and then wet a drunken Agent P of the ShedSquad.
RG battled through robots, pirates and ninjas, just to wet Agent MW.
JO committed unspeakable atrocities that ended in the drenching of Agent AD.
Sunshine rained watery justice upon Agent ME.
JL used ninja skills and mind powers to wettify Agent SC.
JS liquidly mutilated Agent IW.
MF of the ShedSquad channeled his anger at the loss of his teammate and fucked the Mooch Ass Mutha Fukkas, eliminating them from the competition.

Now, please enjoy some player stories...

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

*********************************************************************

Targets name- GM
Time of Liquidation- 8:25am, Wednesday 26th
Kill Number- 1

Report- Having picked up my target file on Sunday evening, I returned home to begin researching my targets. I quickly realised that one of my two assigned "clients" lived only a ten minute walk from my flat, and upon further research discovered he worked just north of bond street station (the internet- the stalkers best friend). It became obvious I should hit him at home, due to the sheer convenience, and my knowledge of the area.

On Tuesday afternoon, I pinpointed the front door to the targets building and a tree in the park opposite, under which I could survey the door without raising any suspicion. Having sized up the targets type of work via the net, I concluded he most likely worked 9-5. Continued research at the Transport for London website showed that single bus, 10 minutes walk from his flat, could take him directly to work, making it the most likely option.

At 7:00 am on the morning of Wednesday the 26th, I awoke after only three and a half hours sleep, ate breakfast, performed a weapons check and made my way to my observation point in the park. Arriving at 7:50, i began surveillance, pretending to read a book and wearing sunglasses to make myself look more incongruous.

I started to become troubled by 8:15 when there had been clearly no sign of him leaving via the front door, especially as I had noticed several cyclist leaving via a side gate to the building, I was concerned I had missed my target. Then, at 8:20am, a man emerged from the front door of the building. Looking about the right build and having the exact same hair, I let him walk along the street a little before commencing pursuit. Moving on rapidly on foot, I slowly caught up with him along the length of the street. Having not seen his face clearly, I could not be certain this was my mark; so once within firing range I was planning on calling the targets name, to see if it elicited a response. However, the targets only major error negated the need for this. Reaching into his pocket, a small water pistol was removed, checked, and placed in his bag. Although initially concerned he was on to me, I knew I had my man. Once the weapon was safely in his bag, I made my move, making a clean shot to the back. The response of, "Oh, FUCK......FUUUUCK" echoed slightly around the street.

Everything was very sporting, the target relinquishing his card and congratulating me, although showing remorse by stating, "my team mate’s going to kill me".

Buzzing slightly from my victory, I returned home and took a well-earned nap. Well, no one ever said being an assassin was going to be easy...

*********************************************************************

All it takes, one missed judgment.

Your eyes make contact is he looking at me cause I’ve got something on my face, or is that the looking of a Professional Assassin. The Fear sets in! What to do, one legs say’s “run for the hills” while the other say’s “you can make it back in to the Pub”, but your feet stay glued to the ground. Time slows down as you your life flashes past your eyes, then suddenly you’re not looking at a past memory but the white’s of your assassin’s eye’s and you feel a cold plastic nozzle thrust into your chest. As the piercing dagger of water rips through your heart, everything goes black as the realisation sets in YOU’VE BEEN MERCED. What’s left to do?

Nothing, get up and shake the hand of your Assassin!

Shame to get taken out on the first day but war is war. It was great fun at least I got to chase my target around in the morning when they weren’t expecting it, putting the fear in them.

And I believe it was all worth it just for the jokes of meeting you all on Sunday.

*********************************************************************

A big hello to my shadow goverment, my name is MW and i have been taking part in the current game. Today i located my target, followed him on lunch, rung him and chased him but sadly he was too fast for me.

so...... i thought, fuck it i will get him after work, i walked out my office and crossed the road to get the bus and SPLASH!!! got shot!! BUGGER!

this guy has been following me and turning up at my house at 6.30 in the morning, i managed to get away from him after he chased me a on my way to work for the past few days. it was only a matter of time before he got me.

But although my game was short lived, i loved it and would love to take part in the next 1 if there is 1.

Agent name : WHU

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SILENCE REPORTING

TARGET LIQUIDATED, AD AKA MONKEY KING IS NO LONG AMOUNG THE THE DRY

AWAITING NEXT ASSIGNMENT ....

FURTHER MORE WHAT ARE THE RULES REGARDING SUBTERFUGE JUST HOW CUNNING
CAN AN ASSASSIN BE IN AQUIRING THE PERFECT LIQUIDATION??

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Hi there,

I just did my first attempt today, as I've been too busy with work at the beginning of the week.

I phoned my target's work, to find out what time they close the office, calculated the rough time it would take for him to get home.

Then I went to his house, found some post on the floor behind the gate and established that this is definitely the correct location.

Positioned myself on the other side of the street, about 20 metres away - wearing quite a silly outfit, looking like a beach tourist.

He arrived 15 minutes later and saw me as he approached his gate, he looked at me suspiciously... but decided that I was harmless. Big mistake.

As he started opening his gate, I picked up a balloon from my bag that was hidden behind the fence of the house I was stood outside.

I ran across the street, quietly and sneaked up on him and SPLASH... caught him!

He was a jolly nice chap and invited me for tea, I had a glass of water and we chatted a bit and I felt sorry because he hadn't yet caught his target.

Please find attached photo of ME, my assigned target, having been splashed wet on his legs, shoes and shorts.

Please send me my next assignment.

Stay dry.

Miss Sunshine

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To the Supreme Commander and the Shadow Government.

I am pleased to inform you that I have killed my target, SC. It was sweet. I waited for her in my car outside her house. I saw in her my mirror coming around the corner. As she approached I got out of the car. She clocked me immediately and began to run. I ran faster. She then fumbled in her bag to get her weapon. You know that scene in the Godfather when Fredo tries to protect the old man? It was a lot like that. I shot her in the head.

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Agent: Mr Green.

This is to confirm that IW went down at his home address [REDACTED] at approx 2100 hrs. He did put up a fight (a wet one) but we called
it in favour of myself, the attacker. I will be more careful next time.

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Supreme Commander,

It is with much sadness and shame I have to admit that tonight I was
killed by a sweet young boy, who had been hiding atop of my stairwell for many many hours.

His name is Martin and he owns a pub just round the corner from my house!

Apologies for my failings.

Agent Kent Monroe.

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Commander

After a 2 day chase I finally nailed MW as he made his way across a busy street in Holborn.

The staff at Starbucks were most helpful in providing me with necessary cover.

M took it well, next target please.

Fear Factor Five

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Mooch ass mutha Fuckers : Squad Eliminated.

Time: 10:56pm

After a 5hr wait i got my man, however this is not the whole story.

From the moment the war started we were confident, maybe to confident. We had there home scoped out to a T, we had all major roads and adjacent roads covered and we knew there work times and transport routes roughly figured out.

By 7am on Tuesday we were in position, eager for the first kill of the tournament. They had changed there apperance, were very edgy and knew there way around their area(as they should!). Having multiple exits to cover we split up. ShedMan saw the targets leave and gave chase, quickest out of the squad leaving the rest behind. Without additional support he lost them in a maze of backstreets and busses. We were hyped, eager but unfocused due our inebriated states. Gotta love Jack.

Not detered buy our failure in the morning we planned another recon mission late on Tuesday. Meeting up at a bar where one of us works (The Lord Clyde: Best pub in Laan- don) we regrouped, blissfully unaware that our enemies were luking outside. We all had an inkling about them, as they were strangers but eventually the booze calmed our nerves and we forgot, but we will never what happened next. One of our commrades went out for stalk only to be ambushed in the pub doorway, taking a direct hit to the heart. I will always remember his last dying words "PIMP DOWN, PIMP DOWN"

Contrary to the comment "LONELY" posted we don't defend, we offend. Dressed in disguises, which were so good we lost each other for awhile, we staked out the building for about an hour then came up with an ingenius plan, we rang every doorbell in the block asking for our targets. Thankfully we hit gold and hit it off we a nice gentleman who belived we were relations of the targets and let us in to their block. Then began the wait.And the wait..............a toilet break........AND THE WAIT. People ask me how i did it. DEDICATION WHATS U NEED!(record breakers) Finally after five hours
the squad leader turned up. What luck. Cleverly looking up the stairwell as i was looking down, we spotted each other but i was in the dark he hardly saw me. He ascended, i froze, he saw me. I was quicker off the draw. He died like a man. I took my trophy and now it lays on the tomb of my fallen comrade.

SHED SQUAD

R.I.P. ShedMan:You died like you lived, Drunk.

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Its 2:21am. I am reporting in my first kill.

Lather Croft - Squirtworks - Dead on 27/07, 12:20am. (I said 24 hours, but it was actually 31, forgive me)

Baz (My assassin) - Unknown team - Barred for 24 hours, 27/07, 1:45am

25/07 - 5:30 pm - Turned up at my targets office, got spotted striaght up and shot in the face. I made no attempt for defence. 24 hours bar in the nuts. Dont want to talk about it.

25/07 - 8:30 pm - First sight of my assassin, how do I know!? Because he bloody added me on MS fucking N! I ran a Email check and found all his profiles on various sites - Some good, some bad, some ugly. Worst of all, he was across the roadd SITTING IN FRONT OF MY FLAT! I had to bomb him, after launching a few pre-made owl shaped party bombs, he shifted himself 4 steps up. And sat there again. He was out of my range and I had a good look at him. As he was waiting, he wrote a note and left it on the door.... 3 hours gone by, I put on my hoody and speed across the road to pick up the note..

The fool has left his new phone number for his buddies. That was the
defining moment, I knew they will never get me with pissy ass tactic like that.... ho ho ho

26/07 - 5 pm - Got a call from my assassin - (Not the one I have seen), told me there are three of them. Then realise they didnt have my new work address, I passed it on right away. I am confident enough to tell them my mean of transports. Whether they trust me or not is another matter.

26/07 - 5:30 pm - My mission was to square up my mess yesterday, revenge was the only word I could see on the tube. Turned up at my target's home, decided to place some magazines on the door, hoping it will drag her attention to those hot Aussie men bodies on the front cover... But soon I decided to go against that decision, what if she was a lesbo? I would have missed the show!

Anyhow, silly me didn't prepare for the long wait, without food or water, my wait was driven by pure anger. At 10:30pm, five hours after hiding in a bush 40 yards away from target's flat, having waved off some estate kids that I aint going to do their little sister, nor was I after their DMX bike....

Then I realised I had £900 in my pocket for the rent and deposit, and where I was sitting could potentially send me two places - police station or ER. Neither happened and I said to my straving self - "He who dares win", and went flat down on her front garden.... 40 mins has gone by.... Still no target... My last train home was gone... All I could see was the horizon of the garden fence. Then.... I heard the combination of foot steps and keys...I had my 3mm green pistol pointed right at the gate.... And she came... Ohno.

It was her housemate#1...

"What are you doing?" housemate#1 hissed

"xxxx xxxx (Target's name), go in, dont worry" I waved her inside

"You scared the living day light of me" Said housemate#1 as she went indoor.

I knocked on the door 15 mins later and asked if my target actually lives there, she insisted the door should be shut during the conversation, and claimed she had no idea about this game... I passed my ID to her through the letter hole, and she was having none of it. She confirmed that target does indeed lives there, and also she has no potential to work for the tobacco companies. So I thought maybe I could stay in the garden... Umm... Maybe not.

I found myself a dark spot on the other side of the road and continue to wait, afterall, I have already waited 5 hours, what is 2 hours to me now? I had in the mean time proved that dinner is not needed when you are rushing off the propesct of making the first kill. I kneed down behind two wheelie bins...

12:20 am 27/07 - A taxi appoarched and stopped opposite to her flat. Here she is. My baby. My love and only. She did not exit the taxi right away, and I saw 2 guys (One of which is her teammate who gave me some cheeky comment after I was spotted the day before) scouting gardens nearby... Oh. I have been grassed by housemate#1. haha. I knew it. They carefully scouted about the place, housemate#1 came out and asked my name .... No reply...

I had one bomb and one pistol, as two bombs were prematurely exploded by the bushes. I knew I had one chance to get her... She is drunk and wearing heels... Oh. Boyz. She started running, and I busrted into psycho mode, lobbing my only bomb into the curb with no effect, I bushed passed her teammates and chased her all the way into her hallway, shot her about 8 times in the back. During that time she didnt turn around to stage a defence... She was mine. I gave her a brief hug (What was I doing?), and went outside hoping I would do her teammates too... My rushed head pointed me to the wrong way and I was caught under heavy fire as I exit to the garden. No problemo, 24 hours it is.

Afterward we had a long chat about who is chasing who and all the rest. But they are a good bunch. Not sour losers, I was even offered a drink by housemate#1, lovely, my first bit of refreshment since 5pm You know who you are, and certainly know who I am.

I caught the bus home and met some people who knew about the game, they were a nice couple and the lady was showing off her body in a "I have a bf so I can" way. I had no choice but to shoot her on the "attention gap" after claiming that 'I really wanted to play'.

1:45am 27/07 - Got off the bus, skated home from about 3 miles away, went into Hyde Park to refill my gun and bombs, because I texted my assassins that I am going home.... Ha.

They were waiting. I was skating pass my block and checked every little corners. The assassin I bombed the day before was hiding in staircase outside my flat. It happened to be the last place I checked... I hit him square on the head with my 3mm and invited him to come inside and have a chat... Waving my bomb at him and told him that if his teammates come in, they will have a fucking war. So he came indoor, we shook hands and had a good chat... Then he called his partner and I read on the phone to find out her name... hahaha. We had a chat and I told her my new work address and schdule, so they can put up a fight.... ... She told me she was doing the spotting but didnt see me. So I said that I will skate home everynight, and now there is only two of you to catch me tomorrow.... ho ho ho.

So ya. Here you have it.

Munkiboy

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END

Comments (19)

Game Updates/Player Stories

The Dampening Begins...

July 27, 2006 - Posted by Supreme Commander at 1:30 AM

I was almost disappointed in you cats...

Not to start another Revolutionary War rivalry, but I remember that in the last Los Angeles game cats were getting irrigated like they was in Marib...I expected the same from you...

I like *completely* abandoned my harem the other day, just to keep close tabs on the emails that were coming in, hoping to see a kill report.

Imagine my dismay when it was time for my 5am body massage and I still had not received a single kill report. My masseuse had to work overtime to get the knots of tension out of my muscular, well developed shoulders.

As I made my way back to the War room to access the Shadow Government mainframe computer to check on your progress, I was contemplating releasing my personal assassins on you early, just to show you my comtempt at your lack of wetting and get you on your toes a bit...

Thankfully (for you), once I got to the computer, I was pleasantly suprised...

6 kills.

Not too shabby...

My ire has been calmed...and I have a present for you...a breakdown of the day's kills and some kill stories...

Enjoy.

Supreme Commander
Shadow Government

Methusalah drenchified Agent FM

Killer2 killed 1 - Agent SR

Etanissassa-x Assassinated Agent SL in a most slick fashion

The Association wetted Agent AG

Stealth Lady Assassins wasted an ENTIRE team. The first team to be removed from the tournament - goodbye Death Aquatic

Agent TJ de-aridated Agent NB with not much fanfare

KILL STORIES
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Supreme Commander,

I shot my first assassin this morning. It wasn't pretty. A touch amateurish I feel, but the virginity stuff is out of the way now, and I'm rabid. There are just a couple of things I need to run by you. [REDACTED] You might want to also tell my assassin to stop walking passed my house, unless he wants to get shot. [REDACTED]

Methusalah

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At 9:15am on Tuesday 25th July Agent Alex Blue of team Killer2 eliminated by way of supersoaker Mr SR. He was eliminated on Chepstow Road, not far from his home. The only known witness is DS, also of team Killer2.

Alex Blue
Killer2

Kill report now follows:

-------------------------------------------------------------

This news just in:

Following a dramatic midnight evasion from an opposing force, a pair of fugitives are thought to still be in hiding within the vicinity of Portobello road.

The alleged criminals are said to be responsible for the horrifying murder of a thirty year old man who has just been named by Police as a Mr SR. Though officially the motive for the killing is unknown, Mr R, who worked for a large IT consultancy firm in The City, is suspected of being involved in an international online fraud syndicate.

An eyewitness report places the alleged as arriving separately in the Portobello area at approximately 6am. Though several witnesses, including a couple sharing the victim's [REDACTED] apartment, a dog walker and a nun, are said to have passed the inconspicuous figures on their way to work or to the nearby Catholic church; so far no reports have been conclusive. Police are still urging any passers-by who might have seen the two suspects observing the victims residence between the hours of 6 and 9am to get in contact.

A forensic analysis of the crime scene has revealed firstly that the pair must have been in constant radio communication throughout; and also that they favour to smoke an imported brand of mini-cigarillos. On Chepstow Road, where Mr R was found shot by a high-calibre pistol at approximately 9:15am, neighbours have said that they did not hear any signs of a struggle. It is therefore assumed that the murderers must have followed the oblivious suspect on his way to work, for some time before choosing to corner him and shoot.

And finally, although its authenticity cannot be verified, an anonymous message delivered today has taken responsibility for the murder it reads:

"The IT guy had to go, and we did it. He was so nervous I felt I could just say 'boo!' and he would have wet himself so bad I wouldn't have had to. I enjoyed listening to his whimpering last words 'I'm not involved, I didn't know anything. I'm not…' but his plea of innocence won't save him now."

The investigation is currently still open, but is expected to be resolved in the near future.

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On behalf of Squirtworks I have just defended our our teams main target and hit a guy called Eric. We exchanged words and he said see you in 24hours...

Lather Croft

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Supreme,

We’ve made our first kill. Here’s what happened:

At 08:30hrs Agent Bi staked out SL’s place of work. No sightings.

At 14:00hrs Agent Bi and Agent Aleph staked out SL’s place of work. No sightings.

At 17:30hrs Agent Bi and Agent Aleph staked out SL’s place of work. He exited the building with 2 body guards. He was noticed by both team members. Agent Aleph acted as a decoy, standing in an obvious place with water gun at the ready. Agent Bi emerged, cool, calm and collected, from around the corner and followed the victim at a safe distance and at a mediumly non-obvious pace. Agent Bi then picked up into a quick trot towards the target, drew her weapon (a supersoaker) and shouted “STEVE!” As Agent Bi opened fire, Steve made a weak attempt to blast Agent Bi with a water bomb, which rebounded from Agent Bi and dropped off the curb onto the road without bursting. Agent Bi opened a second round of fire, just to be sure, and drenched Steve’s American ass.

At 18:00hrs The Agents had a beer with their wet target + bodyguards.

So we’re still dry - who’s our next target?

Bi and Aleph.

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Shadow Government,

Target: AG, [REDACTED]

[REDACTED]

Eliminated at 18:45, Tuesday 25th July 2006.

Visualisation of target acquired at 08:20 hours after stakeout initiated at 07:00 by Quiz Master General and The Gardener.

From observed behaviour, Target was nervous and in fear of his life.

Target disappeared into building evading assassination.

Stakeout resumed 18:30 hours from street near place of residence, clear view of front entrance. Established that no back exit available for use.

Target observed in street 18:45 hours by Commander Hobbit. Quiz Master General confirmed hit, green light given.

Cmdr Hobbit drove vehicle towards target. Quiz Master General, with clean shot out of passenger window, hit target in groin.

Drive by shooting, no witnesses. Slow painful death from bleeding.

Target’s ID removed from corpse.

Request new Target ASAP.

The Association

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[REDACTED]

...so we had to make them pay and take out the whole team! Bring on the next victim... the SLA are ready to take them out!

Stealth Lady Aassassins

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I have successfully soaked my target - NB - and optained his ID
card. Not the prettiest kill but, none the less, seemingly effective.

Comments (26)